|Reviews for The Hero Who Loved Me|
| Rise Against713 chapter 7 . 1/28/2013
Great chapter. So I'm guessing you're a pretty big Chuck fan considering this chapter is filled with Chuck references. Not that I'm complaining, although if I wasn't familiar with Chuck I wouldn't have any idea who Shepard was talking about when he refereed to Ellie (who I am assuming is his sister for obvious reasons).
Anyway, wonderful story. Thanks for sharing your story (and finishing it).
| lazyguy90 chapter 7 . 1/28/2013
Fantastic work on this.
Very poignant stuff.
I can't wait for whatever you've got planned next.
Keep at it.
| l7986 chapter 7 . 1/27/2013
NOOOOOOOOOOOOO! Why must this end. Now onto a serious note, I never really like Miranda much ever since I started playing ME2 (PS3 peasant), but I think its safe to say that this story single handedly made me see the error of my ways. Hopefully this gets carried over into ME3.
| necro-wulf chapter 7 . 1/27/2013
Wow, great use of Metacontext here. I really get a kick out of this. The Parallels between this and the season3 ending of Chuck actually add alot of poingancy to the scene. And the retroactive identification of Shepard as Chuck (despite requireing me to reimagine his physical appearence and voice) really deepens his charater, and Miranda's. By contrasting with Chuck's plotline and development you add an interesting motivation for where both characters came from and where they're going. Sarah and Miranda seem so much more similar now, and Shepard having Chuck's disapperaing father in a universe with Cerberus makes entirely too much sense.
A word of advice, that you likely don't need, is that I recommend against veering twoard too much of Chuck in future plot points. Referencing would be fine, but all out including charaters and plot lines from the show in ME3 would cheapen the usual qualitly of your work too much. At most I would give them maybe a scene of panicked communication or evacuation. Death may be a bit much, but its your call.
I'll be on the lookout.
| Leosh7 chapter 6 . 1/26/2013
i read the part where Miranda mentions Jacob being in deodorant commercials, and instantly thought of the Old Spice ads. I promptly lost my shit.
| Xcal chapter 6 . 12/20/2012
Beautiful chapter. You've really captured and written Miranda's character very well. Kudos!
| Guest chapter 6 . 12/20/2012
Are you going to include The Arrival? I'm immensely curious as to how you'd write Miranda facing such personal torment after Shepard becomes M.I.A.
| Guest chapter 6 . 12/20/2012
Well this chapter was just amazing, and now I'd say that during the assault on the collector base chapter you almost have to have a scene in which Shepard almost dies, or almost dies trying to protect Miranda, or something. After what you've written here seeing Miranda just about go off the wall after her worst fears nearly come true and then dealing with it seems like it'd be an immensely entertaining read.
That and the scene where the Illusive Man orders her to kill Shepard. That should be a good read too.
| Granten chapter 6 . 12/18/2012
Sure would have been nice to have an entire crew helping you in the Normandy sidequest. I hate that mission and only did it the one time to get the trophy.
And so Kasumi is the friendly neighborhood voyeur. She seems a lot like Kelly, going easily with the flow of things.
| Vocarin chapter 6 . 12/18/2012
Don't believe I've commented on this work, so I figure now's a good time to rectify that.
Simply put, this is an excellent portrayal of Miranda and her development as a character. You keep from making her too passive, and her reasoning for what she does is very logical and relatable, particularly in the Overlord scenario. Her voice is pretty consistent throughout, her actions make sense given the context, and I thoroughly enjoyed your contrasting her stark professionalism with her being a big sister with Oriana, hence why the chapter showing her past and the efforts she's gone to so she can keep Oriana safe was my favorite - the part about Miranda comforting her sister with songs and such while driving and trying to escape was incredibly touching and very appropriate to who she was, both human and a person of action. Far too often, people don't give her a motive or a history for her character arc, but you've succeeded quite admirably. So kudos for that.
On to some things that I thought could use some work, since I hate dishing out pure praise and not giving a balanced critique - I thought the April Fool's chapter was an interesting use of Shepard's hacking abilities and background as an infiltrator, but I also felt that the joke went on a little long. The timing for the songs was certainly amusing, and the selection was appropriate, and yet, yeah, it felt like it went too far in some places, and could've been shortened. Also, getting even by putting ink in Shepard's tea felt pretty underwhelming considering how probably half the ship would have itched for the chance to get in on some payback. All the timing and energy Shepard put into his little game, and the response was something that simple? Perhaps that was the point, and you were going for something that was small, surgical, and kind of outdated to show Miranda as willing to play the game, but not social experienced enough to come up with something really punchy, and that's certainly okay. But the joke felt stretched a bit thin.
And as for the last chapter, I have only one critique, and a whole lot of praise. The part on Miranda going over the different crew members and seeing how the trip down memory lane was affecting them was excellent. Giving the crew names and having Garrus and Chakwas reminisce on their antics, Joker's feelings of guilt and regret, Tali's experiences with Pressley, all simple, poignant, and excellently executed. Kasumi's section was thoroughly entertaining, especially when she outlines how she saw how her and Shepard might get along and the end result and commentary, as well as showing Kasumi as being on Tali's side in the end. The critique I have is that the sex scene feels disjointed, in a sense, and it's a bit hard to describe because the stream of consciousness and details are very well placed and executed. Rather, I wasn't sure what they were doing and when, whether Miranda was remembering in some spots and experiencing in the present in others, etc. Maybe it's just me, but it felt like it was bouncing around in the beginning and middle, so it was harder to follow precisely what was going on. And I like the sentiments you're putting in, and am not so desperate to imagine the sex scenes that I need a step by step description of what's going on when if you're not writing it. Just that the last scene felt hard to follow.
But, by and large, I'm thoroughly enjoying this fic, and hope to see more from you in the future.
All the best, and happy holidays.
| Mavakor chapter 6 . 12/17/2012
Great new chapter
| Rise Against713 chapter 6 . 12/17/2012
Good stuff. I like the way you wrote Kasumi's character especially her explination why her and Shepard wouldn't work. Also I loved how you implied that Jacob was the "man your man can smell like" in the old spice commercials. I can totally see that.
| bluemarlin chapter 6 . 12/17/2012
Outstanding chapter. Loving this excellent portrayal of the Miranda/Shepard romance. Looking forward to more.
| commandocucumber chapter 6 . 12/17/2012
I'm so sorry to see this to a close, but SOOO excited for your ME3 novelisation!
there is going to be one, right?
| Janizary chapter 6 . 12/17/2012
"Of course, I might as well dream that Santa Claus was real." - What'chu talkin' 'bout, Willis?
"googly eyes" - Lol. I can sooo see kasumi saying that.