|Reviews for When your gone|
| annoontje chapter 2 . 7/1/2012
I LOVE it muuuuuuuuuuuuuuch! PLEASE write MMOORREE ? It goooooooooooooood!
| gracygirl chapter 1 . 6/16/2012
Hello, my name is Grace, but people on here call me Gracy. I have a degree in English Composition and Writing. I'm proud that you tried to write a story, presumly about your favorite band, One Direction. My sister is in love with them and when she was looking for some homemade stories about them, she ran apond your story and I saw it needed major attection.
Instead of your introduction, I probably would of began it a bit like this:
I couldn’t believe it; I was going to begin my life all over. I was moving to London because my mother had gotten a new job! I was going to begin my life again! Mariell is my name and I’m 17 years old. I love to sing, dance, and draw. However, now I was moving to London with my mom and my little brother, Samuel who is 1 years old. And if you didn’t know, my mom, Ellen was the best mom ever.
I thought the brother needed a name and because that was my brother's name, I used that. There is several grammical errors and fragment (sentences) weren't the best.
This story actually belongs on Fiction-press, Fanfiction's sister's site. If you ever need a beta, I'm here.