Reviews for Heaven & Hell
ZDrive chapter 19 . 11/21/2014
Update please!
Guest chapter 19 . 5/18/2014
angels182 chapter 19 . 5/16/2014
we need the last really curious now
Hehehe things are getting more interesting
ZDrive chapter 19 . 2/15/2014
I bet every one of your readers would really appreciate it if you UPDATED GOSH DUCKING DANG IT!
Guest chapter 19 . 12/2/2013
Updating is good for the soul. Like Yullen!
Yoroichicat chapter 19 . 9/20/2013
Update Geek chapter 18 . 9/8/2013
May-Ruzuki chapter 4 . 7/27/2013
*dies laughing* Ooooo Kanda is EVIL!
Im actually a little surprised Lavi didnt realize what was going on, hes pretty sharp...
May-Ruzuki chapter 1 . 7/27/2013
thegenuineimitation chapter 18 . 7/1/2013
(Answer to request for constructive criticism)

About your style:

-portrayals of characters
-romantic element
-tossing the seme/uke crap
-mood cues and taking the time to build them
-interesting and unique plot ideas
-sex scenes (OMG you are fabulous with these usually)

-romantic focus sometimes takes away from the non-romantic plot
-flow between some chapters

In this story:

I really liked Guilt and Innocence, like REALLY liked it, it's the reason I decided to follow you (something I rarely do). I was so excited to see a sequel I absolutely loved the first few chapters of this story but I found that the plot of it has been sort of dismissed as irrelevant in my brain pretty much since the group arrived in France. With your writing I find myself in it for the romance and only the romance and I feel that taking some extra time to focus on what you want to do with the plotline about the people!innocence will really take this story to the next level especially since your gearing up for a conclusion.

I've been through the story again trying to pinpoint what it is that you need to improve on plot-wise, but it's nothing specific more like the the overall tone of the story is that the action/adventure part is just background noise and has therefore become background noise...maybe? I can't express it well. Anyway...


I don't know what your outlining strategy is but my recommendation either for the next plot-based fic you write or for the final round of editing for this fic is to separate the plot points of the action from the plot points based entirely around romance. Lay everything out as though no romance was involved and then add it on top of your already well-developed character development and romantic plotline then adjust for discrepancies.

Hope this helps! (and that it was presented inoffensively).

Love your stories and I can't wait to see the next chapter! I'll be sad to see the end of this fic.

ZDrive chapter 17 . 6/18/2013
Omg, you must update soon! I can't wait to read more!
thegenuineimitation chapter 16 . 4/20/2013
Oh dear...poor boys, lol. Can't wait to see what kind of drama ensues now! Great chapter, as always can't wait for the next update!
Nightowl572 chapter 16 . 4/20/2013
Geez, more Kanda and Allen love AND a new character? I think I love you.

I like how you've kept Kanda in character even when he's bottom; good seme!Allen fics are so hard to find, but you've done it perfectly.

And then there's Luke. A finder whose first impression of Kanda and Allen is them in bed, and who seems to be one of those pushy, teasing ones.

This is going to be fun.
Kinkylittlewolf chapter 16 . 4/19/2013
Hehehe - the thought of Daisya masturbating all the time is quite amusing. :P I'm glad you updated. :3
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