|Reviews for Just Another Day|
| mpowers045 chapter 1 . 10/28/2014
how will the team react when they are with Ezio rescuing Caterina when they the Borgia siblings make out well first Ezio was surprised and grossed out to see them making out then Raimundo said what you never seen a couple kissing before? then Ezio explained they are brother and sister then the team were like WHAT?! what do you think?
| NA chapter 1 . 7/14/2013
I apologize for my nitpicking, but it's the only criticism I have for this so far. Other than the following, well done!
Line 3: "Though sin!"
I think you mean "thou". "Thy" is the proper word.
Line 6: "...stalls etc. Were being..."
No capitalization is needed, as etc. is an abbreviation, not the end of a sentence.
You seem to be using "pointed out" quite a bit. It's not a bad verb to use, in moderation. Avoid repetition, though. It distracts.
Your sentences are running on a bit. One of your paragraphs was a whole sentence. Use more punctuation, such as dashes or periods or commas, when describing actions or people. For example,
"They saw a man stood on the rooftop of the huge temple. His face had a dark five o clock shadow, just like when someone forgets to shave before they go to work on Monday morning. His hair was tied back with a red ribbon; it was thick and brown, his eyes a hazel colour which glistened in the morning daylight. He was half dressed in a loose fitting shirt and baggy pants, a shirt which was once white but now took a more yellowish tinge to it that only just covered his body. He had a bracer on one arm and a sword by his side. He looked like a lion in his cage, being teased with a scrap of meat. Even from what distance the monks were at they could see the aggression and vengeance that was written across his face."
"He", too, gets repetitive, even without my revisions. I'm not saying any of my critique is required changes, but it's something to think about. Thank you for your time.
| Hawkcam1996 chapter 1 . 1/23/2013
Not bad. I take it they used the Sands of Time to travel back in time?
| Bloody NailBunny chapter 1 . 11/1/2012
Think again about this...ASSASSINS CREED... AND XAIOLIN SHOWDOWN. That's pure bad assness right there. This needs to continue on.
| Rocknroller418 chapter 1 . 10/23/2012
Get on that next chapter I want to continue reading this.
| LilliannePhantomhive chapter 1 . 6/3/2012
I hope you write more because I like the way you mixed my favorite cartoon when I was little and my favorite game today.
And ofcourse a thumbs up for you.
-Blessings from Lily :)