|Reviews for Prince of Death|
| the real narnia chapter 34 . 2/27
Wait, but the meeting...doesn't that mean that Severus knew that Peter was the spy, not Sirius?
| Kyorun chapter 37 . 2/2
I'm kind of bothered that you still spell Hecate as Hectate, and no one bothered to correct you otherwise all this time.
| Syliphen Zora Riddle chapter 16 . 2/1
Did you know that the Elder Wand/Wand of Destiny/Deathstick was made of elder wood amd Thestral hair? I trust and hope that this was no coincidence. -
| Syliphen Zora Riddle chapter 11 . 2/1
| deathlyfire123 chapter 23 . 1/23
MCGONAGALL, ITS OCCLUMENCY IDIOT YOU DON'T PROTECT YOUR MIND WITH LEGILIMENCY
| Grammar Fiend chapter 27 . 12/24/2017
You say you have a Beta reader now, but they’re not doing a very good job. All the same errors, especially with commas and mistaken homonyms, are still happening. A solid review of the rules of basic grammar would not go awry for either of you.
Please do not take my constructive criticism as a slight on your storytelling. You have talent for bringing your own characterizations to an imaginative plot line, and further grammatical editing can only improve your writing.
Thank you for your efforts, they are greatly appreciated by voracious readers who cannot afford to pay their authors. I hope my advice can help improve the quality of your future endeavours. Again, thank you for your contribution to the world of Harry Potter Fan Fiction.
| Grammar Fiend chapter 9 . 12/24/2017
You have some truly excellent ideas and some unique plot twists that I really enjoyed. However, your English skills need some strict attention. One cat: cat. More than one cat: cats (NOT cat's). One Potter: Potter. More than one Potter: Potters (NOT Potter's). There are NO apostrophes in pluralizations. This is Primary School English you need to review. Belonging to one Potter: Potter's. Belonging to more than one Potter: Potters' (or Potters's). The possessive requires an apostrophe (with a few exceptions: his, hers, ours and theirs).
Not only do you not know how to use an apostrophe, you can apparently not differentiate between homonyms; their/there/they're, passed/past, to/too/two, and your/you're are just a few you have regularly misused. You need to look up, and understand, the definitions of these words and the difference between them.
You also clearly do not understand how to correctly use the comma. There are so many run-on sentences and commas in places they do not belong. Try reading what you have written aloud, that will often bring to light any inconsistencies; if you would not normally take a breath there while reading aloud then a comma is not needed (if you would, then is is needed).
Keep writing! You can greatly improve your readability by paying more attention to every word you type. Better grammatical editing can only improve your storytelling.
Thank you for your contribution to the world of Harry Potter Fan Fiction.
| Svenion chapter 36 . 12/17/2017
does this deviate from canon ever? we already know harry could just go destroy the stone now. it just seems like you could have done a time skip to where things deviate and just used one chapter to highlight the main differences.
| Svenion chapter 9 . 12/17/2017
your summary asks how hogwarts will react to Hades' son. at this rate, will we ever find out?
| Guest chapter 1 . 12/9/2017
One of my favourite stories ever
| Criminal Minds Queen chapter 5 . 11/27/2017
Cathryns mother is Bellatrix and her step father is Rodolphus lestrange
| YokaiAngel chapter 42 . 11/22/2017
| sevvyboy1fangirl chapter 31 . 10/19/2017
they drew lots, not straws.
| sevvyboy1fangirl chapter 19 . 10/19/2017
Hufflepuff are literally know for hard work. hard work and loyalty are their two main traits. so saying they can't "do the work" is bs. other than that I love it.
| NabikiB chapter 5 . 9/29/2017
Too bad you're letting Hades have him...Puck or even the Morrigan would have turned the Camp on it's ear.