|Reviews for Unwanted|
| skynicalodean chapter 12 . 6/6/2013
Are you planning on doing a sequel? You really should. She could get her memories back and be with Allen. Even if you don't it was a really good story. Thanks for writing it!
| TheRangersArrow chapter 12 . 12/9/2012
Why!? So much potential! So little love… Poor Allan…
| JustThinking chapter 11 . 11/3/2012
I like this and besides the author notes in the middle of the chapters, there isn't really anything bad to say, if I remember correctly. More soon please.
| StorySmith chapter 11 . 10/21/2012
WHAT?! This is an outrage I really want you to update she can't just die although she might come close don't end this story yet !
| Signora Ted chapter 10 . 9/22/2012
Awesome :) will keep reading!
| Dancing Tiger chapter 10 . 9/18/2012
Okay, kudos to you Ananimous. Not only for the awesome name (I love that username :D I shall steal it… Just kidding!) And also, for the great story. I truly wish that I had a chance to review each chapter alone, but unfortunately, life can be a bitch, eh? So, I take time to review this latest one, and hope that my words suffice in describing the love I have discovered within this story.
One things first- I feel that Shadow/Evelyn is me. Like, not the whole crazy-sheriff-father-with-dead-mother-prostitute kind of similar, but like silent-as-a-ghost-kick-butt-head-over-heels-for-Allan (Even though Evelyn doesn’t know that yet!) That is one of the reasons I love this. Discovering Robin Hood a few days ago fulfilled my dreams. (Why fight with guns when you have wood and swords? That takes real skill. Not just point and shoot.) But the second I saw Allan, I knew that I was in love. There are a famine for fics of him on here, and I really love this because since Shadow/Evelyn reacts as I would react, or at least, I imagine anyway. Okay, stop me here. I’m babbling like the pathetic semi-stalker fangirl I am. Whatever. Moving on.
WHAT WERE WE HERE FOR AGAIN? OH YEAH, YOUR WRITING! So, to that. You really do a good job of portraying emotions. That is really hard to do in writing, or even if it isn’t, you do an amazing job with that. I feel the ability to have empathy with her, even though she is a fictious character that is only a figment of some amazing authors imagination.
Her story makes sense. The sheriff acts as the sheriff would, despite sparing her life. Everything makes sense, and the best thing of all, out of everything, IT IS ORIGINAL. Never have I seen one quite like this. You seem to enjoy doing what I like to do with fanfiction- Putting the characters out of their element. I like writing stories that involve characters that are very comfortable with one thing, but everything is thrown askew. You did a really great job of this. They stay in character, while adapting to Evelyn’s character, which might sound confusing because I am tired, but you seriously are great.
Okay, before I continue the praise, one thing- Commas. Please, please, please, use that comma. It should be right next to the M on your keyboard. Okay, that sounded cruel. Sorry. But sometimes your sentences seem rushed or improper (Or are improper) without that comma buddy giving you a breaths pause. I don’t have time to hunt down an example in your story right now, but if I have time another day and another chapter, I will try that for you. Your spelling isn’t as bad as you think either… okay? Got that? You’re awesome, but everything needs work! You aren’t perfect (Though damn near close for you :D)
And here I go again on how amazing… You have a really great balance in your time pacing. Erg, that didn’t come out right. Some authors pace their stories way too fast, so you get no details and everything rushes past and you feel like you are watching a movie on a high speed train, or something like that. Then there is that ever present author who just LOVES that purple prose. If they wanted to describe a balloon, they would go on PAGE AFTER PAGE AFTER PAGE UNTIL YOU WANT TO CLAW THEIR EYES OUT THEN PROCEED TO DO THE SAME YOURSELF. But no, not you. Additional detail is given where needed to balance the empathy that you get from her, and you make is go quicker where little detail is needed.
Really sorry for this all being so choppy and short and undescriptive, but life is coming up on me again. Spelling errors, no time for spellcheck. Bad grammar, you bet. Choppy sentences, see em here. All of this in my review. I apologize. Love your writing. Amazing. You are now on my alert stuff :D
(This review also must sound a little bipolar. I apologize for that. I tend to sound like that when I get excited about amazing authors.)
| WillDjaqFan chapter 1 . 9/17/2012
Read this story straight through - loved every minute. By the way I think Evelyn's a lovely name, although I would have preferred Elisabeth or Annie.
| IsobelFrances chapter 10 . 9/17/2012
You're welcome I'm really glad I could help, if you need anything else I'll be happy to help. And btw when you wrote chest fallen, the correct phrase is crest fallen )
| amy chapter 9 . 9/12/2012
Hey u could call her lily or willow oh and i luv your story by the way :)
| IsobelFrances chapter 9 . 9/6/2012
Well you could do this if you want more of an argument:
"I am not short" I reply indignitly (spelling?) "Besides your the one with the big nose, perhapes it's to compensate for the size of your brain." I brought my hands up to my mouth with slight shock; 'I did not just say that, I did not just say that. I can't believe I just said that.'
He laughed, "You aren't the first girl to tell me that."
"What that you have a small brain?" I chuckled
"No..well, yes but I was talking about my nose." he smirked.
"Yes well, they are both out of proportion."
"You said that."
"Shut it." I said blushing furiously.
"Oh great, now you've gone all quiet again," he sighed in frustration.
Anyway great chappie can't wait to read more, feel free to use this, and by the way, good things to insult boys about are the size of their brains, how useless they are, and their manlyness (I have 5 brothers, it's fun).
| mariangisborne chapter 9 . 9/6/2012
loved the fight scene, very well written, keep up the good work as always. Mariangisborne.
| Erehwona chapter 8 . 9/1/2012
Hi there! :)
Your Welcome for the positive comments, you earned them, I'm glad they're appreciated and hopefully encourage you to continue with your great story.
Thanks for the great chapter! This plot is really interesting and has so much potential! I really can't wait to see where the story goes.
Other than that just keep up the good work! :)
(Btw I loved how you use Allan's catchphrase XD)
| IsobelFrances chapter 8 . 8/30/2012
I love how you have kept everyone in character, I can't wait to read more.
| mariangisborne chapter 8 . 8/27/2012
It's a pleasure to help you, i really think that this story can be awesome. Keep up the good work as always. Mariangisborne.
| Erehwona chapter 7 . 8/15/2012
I'm glad Robin allowed her to stay with the gang, well... at least for now... :)
It's great to know when this story occurs so thanks for saying!
Thanks for the great chapter! Can't wait for the update!