|Reviews for Harry Potter and the Two Lovers|
| FulMetalMon chapter 6 . 5/28
goddanm I actually had to keep my self from crying from many times this chapter. You have created a great story.
| Dalwyn chapter 6 . 5/2
Really a great story. Some reviewers just like to pick nits. What made it great, for me, is its freshness .. the relationships between our principals are new, nuanced, and just like in real life, have soft fuzzy edges. Reality is complicated, not narrative, and a fair amount of reality happens off-camera.
The only bit I was a little saddened by was how quickly Harry just accepted that Hermione was dying. He fought like a demon to get into the cell, but didn't appear to make any effort to heal her. Even if it would ultimately be unsuccessful, I feel as if he would have tried. Or we needed a bit more narrative for him to realize it was fruitless.
Thanks for writing.
| TylerJay333 chapter 7 . 4/25
very great story. but why have Hermione die? yeah it went well with the story but I kind of feal like Ron or one of the other characters would of been just as good for the part. I was kind of hoping for Harry, susan, and Hermione to live together in the end.
| Chronic-Insomnia chapter 6 . 4/24
I liked most of it, especially the glimpses of maturity, though there were a lot of 'meh' moments.
There doesn't seem to be any build-up of tension at all for the major climaxes and plot resolutions. And the amount of cartoonishly evil people getting off rankles. It left a bad taste in my mouth for what could've been.
| ThunderSphinx chapter 7 . 4/18
James's wand was specifically tuned to Transfiguration whilst Lily's was attuned to Charms. J.K. Rowling has also said so. And her word is law.
| ThunderSphinx chapter 6 . 4/18
Why the F would you kill Hermione!? It was a good story however I will rate it a 3/7. It got deducted big-time for that dumba** decision lol.
And Mrs Weasley doesn't have the authority to kick someone out of the Weasleys family. Only the Head of House can.
| Harlan Malkavian chapter 3 . 3/23
why everyone of canon characters just become a bad comic villain?
| ThunderSphinx chapter 3 . 2/13
Are u an idiot? The Marauders Map shows the ENTIRE HOGWARTS GROUNDS! Did you not read Prisoner of Azkaban? Lol SMFH.
| ThunderSphinx chapter 2 . 2/13
Why the FLYING FUCK WOULD RON BECOME QUIDDITCH CAPTAIN!? HARRY WAS ON THE TEAN FOR 5 YEARS!
| mckertis chapter 1 . 11/24/2016
Romance ? Where ?! Random fucking is now considered romance ?
| Runecutter chapter 6 . 11/23/2016
A pretty awesome story. Hermione's fate was a heartrending moment, the green lantern ring worked well inside your story, although I'd insist that "willpower" is a lazy assed comic explanation that does neither really fit the Lantern nor Harry's Focus-ring, Susan brought a lot of dynamic and drama into the mix, never boring, never "plain", I liked that. And your backstory for Lily and James was all that in a big giant box. A rather pleasant turn of events, surprising but fitting really nicely into the vague canon description of Superdad and Heroicmum (btw I think their "best subjects" come from Ollivander talking far too much when Harry gets his Holly&Phoenixfeather wand) without distracting too much.
That was the good part... now for the bad... I wasn't too impressed by Ron getting a "grown up" treatment with no real jealousy or foot in mouth problems whatsoever, in turn Neville got really shafted by you, making him the replacement Ron and driving it home excessively that one has to be the jealous arse... I do not really like that pattern of giving Harry and his friends completely changed personalities just to fill the now vacant canon positions with either new sets of friends or making others the "enemies" (also very popular amongst "Draco isn't a bad guy" authors where I loathe it even more). OTOH Ron with a slightly more relaxed and wider perspective of the world WAS a good character in the story, it just bothers me that for him Neville had to jump the gun...
And then there was the pacing problem... you touch on a gigantic number of subjects... always shortly, never really in depth. Which is a pity. As a consequence the story often turns into Nonsequiturs. Harry jumps into bed with Hermione without any emotional backstory?
Hermione finds another boyfriend because she doesn't feel like that for Harry but then convveniently forgets him completely once at Hogwarts? She doesn't even mention Bill or a breakup to Susan when they're doing their 200 questions thing where she practically swears undying love for Harry... After she spent a not further detailed christmas romp in his "cabin"... getting her back suspecting he has cheated on her would have been nice or any other sign that it is over and she gets back to close proximity to Harry. But no, it is just left out until the Susan moment, making it a pretty botched element in her backstory, losing any semblance of the potential it could have given the story had it been used better.
Ron's short flirt with a relationship was even worse... He's invited into the home of the family which still hates Harry and stands behind Umbridge? Why? How? He should be Persona non grata by association and Marietta should NOT have willingly told her mother about whom she's dating. After that christmas she doesn't really appear anymore, which feels weird.
There are more elements that would have warranted another mention or two after they were lightly touched upon... Miranda's absence (I think here you even made an actual mistake as at first she mentions her wife being dead and then when Harry asks why she did not save him from the Dursleys she claims she didn't know James and Lily were dead? Either it's a mistake or worded pretty awkwardly for "I just heard about this when I returned to England X days ago" Both are less than ideal), what became out of Amelia... and why did Harry not have to serve any kind of punishment for his two violent control losses? Draco was KIND of explained by that "blood feud", although it hangs a bit in empty space with Narcissa not trying to get any revenge of her own, Neville on the other hand was vigilantism, getting him arrested for the illegal potion should have been completely sufficient, beating him up until he resembled a slug more than a human being was not really rule compatible in Hogwarts or the legal system at large... and for making quite a big thing out of "the wizarding society hates homosexuality" the school ignored the increasing number of lesbians around Harry and only the epilogue really brought Molly's uglier side out fully. Which all are small points, but in combination they rather disappoint as far as every sidetrack of the main story line is concerned... there simply is too little well "depth" to it, everything only blinks up shortly when you seem to have use for it and then fizzles away again. Ending with all characters other than Harry and susan turning into flat and uninspiring plot vehicles with not very much personality of their own. Which is disappointing in the light of how many GOOD ideas you've put into the story to make it an original one. Your sidekicks have betrayed you in that effort.
| flowerchild33 chapter 6 . 11/20/2016
I can't believe Hermione got killed
| xNaruHina chapter 6 . 7/2/2016
Ehh this story was ruined when Harry didn't just will Hermione's poison away. The setup, though unexpected, for the three way family was amazing and held a ton of potential. Sadly, at least in my opinion, that was all thrown down the drain. Other than that, this story was amazing! Good job on a masterpiece, even if I won't finish it, it was still great.
| Guest chapter 6 . 6/5/2016
I don't unterstand how Draco could have a working portkey out of Hogwarts. And how Darkness was enough to capture them. And why did he poisoned Hermione if he wanted to lure Harry? And why knew Harry and everyone else, that there was no cure for Hermione? And why the fuck would they vomit from screams alone? Without the other senses hard to achieve to vomit.
To be honest, the 2 lemons were good, but the rest was rubbish. Sorry, but all nice people are jackasses in your story and you murdered Hermione, not cool.
| Guest chapter 5 . 6/5/2016
Good lemon, but plot and charakters are a bit too OC.