Reviews for Consequences
Darksnider05 chapter 9 . 1/14
Willing to believe the Emperor is the bad guy yet trusting any information they received about the Jedi that doesn't seem like something Intel people would do. The source is burnt thus the info is all now chalky at best.
Darksnider05 chapter 4 . 1/14
Yuck and what is this Garbage about the dark side bringing balance to the force. The stuff is literal cancer and a quick way to end up killing children and eatting corpses.
Darksnider05 chapter 2 . 1/14
He doesn't know her well enough yet to be confessing love and it seems really shallow at this point and again making him seem like a traitor.
Darksnider05 chapter 1 . 1/14
Kinda depicting Luke as a bit of a traitor there to the Rebellion. Fighting the Empire has basically nothing to do with killing Jade. It might come up or happen but really that line of thought doesn't make sense.
TienVogh chapter 25 . 9/27/2015
Hello,
I just finished reading this story (yes, it's not new, but I'm new to ffn ;-) and I really liked it ! The idea of Luke joining Mara at the end of Choices of One is quite good (I thought about it myself after reading the book) and the plot and character development is overall very good.
There's just one thing in the plot that bothers me a bit, there's some continuity hiatus : Choices of One takes place 8 months after Yavin, so it's safe to assume your story happens roughly in 1 ABY. Yet you put in events from ESB (3 ABY) and even ROTJ (4 ABY) without any explanation. It's seems strange to me that the timeline would contract itself just because Luke defected to the Empire.
About characters now, most are quite fine. I like the way you write Palpatine and Ysanne, Mara and Luke as well as Leïa and Han are also very good. Vader on the other hand seems to defect from the dark side a bit too quickly.
But in my opinion, the most OOC is Shira, you write her cold and careless much like Ysanne, but she's far more comparable to Mara. True, she can be cold and cruel (especially after she was maimed) but she's also a passionate woman and she's far from careless. She cared for her friend Myrette Davani on Carida, she cared for Vader, seeing him as the father she never had and she had true feelings for Luke. If she didn't she wouldn't have failed to kill him. She certainly wouldn't have severed Luke's hand deliberately and she wouldn't sleep with Palpatine either. Also in the timeframe of your story, she was still a cadet on Carida (graduating as major in 1.5 ABY) and not yet an emperor's hand let alone a Sith Lady. This may sound a bit harsh but I'm a Shira lover and so quite picky about how she's portrayed ;-)
On your writing style it's quite good for me (but english is not my native language). I just noticed a few mistakes you often make : "of" instead of "have" or "then" instead of "than".
Well, that's all for this, I hope, constructive review. I will definitely read the sequel and take a look at your other stories. Please keep writing.
Ahsokafanboy1138 chapter 21 . 6/20/2015
Remember, Life Day does not exist.
Ahsokafanboy1138 chapter 14 . 6/20/2015
Will you ever do a story about Wedge and Ysanne? I mean, she is pretty much his archenemy but they only meet once and its to brief.
Ahsokafanboy1138 chapter 11 . 6/20/2015
Yeah, Pestage has known Palpatine, or Sheev as he's now called, longer than anyone else, back when he was Plaguies's apprentice.
guest chapter 15 . 6/13/2013
And people don't believe me when I say that Vader is tragically misunderstood!
DarthSmiles chapter 25 . 3/22/2013
At the beginning, I didn't like it that much, but by chapter 5 about the characterizations and motivations became more solid. I love it! Thank you for writing it!
Doctor Dandy chapter 1 . 11/20/2012
I don't have time for an in depth review on why this is terrible right now, but be assured in the knowledge that this story is completely reprehensible.

- Thorndsword
Electricboa chapter 25 . 9/23/2012
This was a really fun read. I'm always drawn to Luke/Mara stories and I especially like the tangent off of Choices of One. You certainly brought in a lot of EU characters, which is especially nice. I absolutely love Thrawn being in it, and really look forward to seeing what kind of damage he can do in the next book, since he'd probably take over the Supreme Commander title now that Vader is gone. I also have to give a lot of credit for including Byss and the clones in this. I've read quite a few stories where Palaptine gets killed off and they never address that he'd just come back.

There were a couple things I think might have needed more time devoted to them, though. I thought most of the characters fell in a little too easily early on. I mean, Luke gives up the Rebellion without any kind of struggle. I also never really thought Vader treated Jade as an equal, just beneath his notice, more disdain than anything else. More than anything, Vader struck me as the most out of character. I couldn't see him changing that much in such a short amount of time, much less casually telling Mara and Luke about his mother's death while on the subject of speeders.
Darth Lawyer chapter 25 . 8/5/2012
Only an evil author would have ended a story with such a cliffhanger. ;) Hurry to post the sequel!
Crazy Brit 1987 chapter 25 . 8/5/2012
great story i can't wait to read the rest please keep working on it
Guest chapter 25 . 8/3/2012
Love the story. My only complaint is the grammar mistake you make repeatedly - "should of" instead of "should have".
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