|Reviews for Celebration: Wishful|
| Nerdkate88 chapter 1 . 11/1/2012
Cute! It got a little confusing at the end but I managed to figure it out. Correct me if I didn't see it but where did it explain the Ariatsu girl? I knew It was Iris but still... Its really Awesome! :)
| Amulet Misty chapter 1 . 6/7/2012
Aww jealous Iris ftw. And what Dento did was really sweet x3 I don't think that was OOC, more like how Dento might show his romantic side if Pokemon let hime x3
| alicekinsno1 chapter 1 . 6/6/2012
So this looks like a cute idea for a story. I know that shipping Cilan and Iris is popular, and it's interesting to see what sort of spin people put on it.
One aspect of the writing that I noticed could use a little work has to do with your paragraphs. You seem to understand that each new speaker in dialogue gets their own paragraph, but one thing to keep in mind is that the same holds true every time you record the reaction of another character, regardless of whether the character actually said anything. To cite one example, you wrote:
["Sleep well?" Iris nodded, smirking slightly.
"The storm just woke me up..."]
Iris's reaction should have its own paragraph, in which you would also include her next line:
Iris nodded, smirking slightly. "The storm just woke me up..."]
I'm also a bit confused about some of the words you used. In the above-mentioned example, for instance, you had Iris smirking, and I have to wonder if that's the word you meant to use, since a "smirk" is typically regarded as a mean smile (which I don't think Iris would do to a friend). Additionally, I'm puzzled by how you keep referring to Cilan as a "sommelier." I feel as though it would have been simpler just to refer to him by his name, since "sommelier" is a bit of a difficult word to understand.
Finally, I'm confused by what you're trying to do with the names. In particular, I feel as though Iris's name is confusing: for the first part of the story you refer to her as "Iris," but later you have Cilan calling her "Airisu." I'm not sure what purpose that serves, especially since Unova, where Cilan is from, is based on the West, if not America, rather than Japan.
That being said, this story did have some cute moments, such as the awkwardness between Cilan and Iris, as well as the integration of their pokemon into the things they got up to. I wish you good luck and encourage you to keep writing.