|Reviews for Aphelion|
| sarhea chapter 4 . 6/19/2012
Love the artwork. And the fic.
Hermione is my favourite HP character for crossovers, the more UC/rarer the better and being paired with Loki is definitely the better.
I like her with anti-heros. They have more 'real' depth and character.
Can't wait to read where you're taking them.
| SpaceHead3 chapter 4 . 6/19/2012
This is a seriously awesome story! It's so compelling and like you mentioned in the story, has the archetype of the mortal girl and the god. I'm looking forward to your updates!
| st3phk chapter 4 . 6/19/2012
Really enjoyed the fluff in this chapter!
You're such a good writer and I'm already in love with this story!
Can't wait to read the next chapters:)
| terripotter5 chapter 4 . 6/19/2012
I think this is a great story so far! Not too sappy at all! Can't wait for more :D
| Lolchen chapter 4 . 6/18/2012
I love it 3
And I'd like to give you some con crot, but I have a fever so I'm afraid my PoV is a bit off.
I sorta like that connection scene, since Loki's a bit like "I'm made to rule" in it. Or maybe I misunderstood that. I seriously am wondering at Hermione's lack of reaction, though (maybe it just hadn't sunk in?) Loki is pretty much offering Immortality to her and to rule by his side (whether as a rriend or more). I feel like she isn't, well, overwhelmed enough? (that's not the word I'm looking for...) and does she know about who will succeed Odin and how that works? Because if she does, she should realize that Loki's relatively unlikely to rule. Also the hint of killing opposition (Taught you to kill gods) should make her queazy if she realizes what he's saying. But she's pribably quite enchanted at that moment so...
| thesorcerousnation chapter 4 . 6/18/2012
... I know you don't like this chapter, but I honestly really do. Hermione's characterization was perfect. Loki's was... sad and beautiful and just... I can't even think of a word for how fitting it was. Wonderful. Can't wait for more. XD
| Booklover9477 chapter 4 . 6/18/2012
Awesome chapter! I think you are doing a wonderful job and that it's amazing. I love all the flirty banter it's one of my favorite parts in the story. I didn't mind the "fluffiness or the sap" or whatever you're calling it, but I think I get what you're saying. As much as they would make a cute couple I can see it become an obsession for him (or she become an obsession for him). Yay I'm so glad it's gonna hopefully be at least twenty chaps I'm so looking forward to them. Keep up the great work! Can't wait to read more! Until next time, Laila :k
| XXXSilverFangXXX chapter 4 . 6/18/2012
| Nexus the 13th chapter 1 . 6/18/2012
Irregardless is not a word. Regardless is.
(Loki conforting her)
Not sure if I should post this as it seems like a dick move, but you can't get better if none correct you.
| Jenna A. L. Marie chapter 4 . 6/18/2012
I think I get what you were saying, that something never really clicked. I can't pin it down, but I get what you are saying. One thing if I had to point out anything would be that I noticed that some of the longer dialouge parts would occasionally stretch on, and your wording would get a little mixed up. I noticed that all of the information that you put in was necessary, I thought that it might have been better to have a little bit of a break inbetween the longer parts that had to be said.
Jenna A. L. Marie
| gracelander2 chapter 4 . 6/18/2012
Awesome chapter! And to tell you the truth it really wasn't that sappy. I mean there were a few of sappy moments but not very many. My favorite part of this chapters was the end right before Victor interrupted them, now I shall wait in anticipation for the next chapter! Amazing job I wouldn't change anything!
| cherry-888 chapter 4 . 6/18/2012
...I got attached to the fluffyness. I kinda want to see them togueter, but I am also intrigued what you are going to write. I can't wait for your next chapter!
PS: MY EMOTIONS!
| Ithilelda chapter 4 . 6/18/2012
To begin with I've read this story from Chapter 1 and only now got around to reviewing. For that I sincerely apologize. I've enjoyed this every step of the way so far. As for your concerns about this chapter I'd say they are unfounded. It was good. Though I enjoy many of the stories I read very few actually make me feel something. This chapter did that. The connection sequence was very touching and well done.
Over all a highly enjoyable read and I eagerly await the next chapter.
| Twilight Cardmistress chapter 4 . 6/18/2012
Cheekbones... hee. And oh dear, you brought out the ridiculously silly helmet of the goat. Luckily, the imagery didn't interfere with that long, lovely speech. But his talk sort of confused me. Did he just essentially propose to her? Sort of? talking about her being beside him as a goddess, and all. Let me sort out my thoughts...
First. The little fire. Oh man. I felt all warm and fuzzy when i read that. Nice tilt to him being a frost giant, with him being always cold, and the red eyes. But this line: "I would," he said, with an unmistakable note of longing, "that you were of Asgard." It kind of seems out of place. He would what? He would let her touch him? If she was from Asgard? That doesn't seem to make much sense...
So, yeah, he essentially proposed to her. Make her a Goddess to stay beside him.
Hmm...Okay one moment. I'm going to read this over again to see if i can help with your questions here...
I'm not sure what you mean by the chapter not feeling right. Perhaps it's the romantic atmosphere? Usually, Loki isn't really seen in the romantic are of life. I could see him twisting it around, but not being genuine. However, I'm not saying that it's Bad here. I quite like, really. You seem to bring the Tom Hiddleston aspect of him out a lot (I do not mind that AT ALL). It suited the mood of the chapter, it being a ball and all. With all the angst going on around Loki, him being in a relatively happy situation (You gave him a birthday present! -melting-), would probably seem out of place. I dont know if that's what you're getting at though.
Continuing with that romance, the 'sappiness' of it isn't bad. Him being curious of her present, something he might not have received before, ever, and him getting excited of his (one?) friend staying with him forever was, I think, a nice touch. Seeing as he is constantly in Thor's shadow, the idea of something to keep for himself would probably draw him. The seriousness of Hermione becoming a goddess is still there, at least, for me. The choice of leaving a mortal life for an immortal one is a very big decision. Hermione could very well reject it, and Loki may take it to extremes. And now i don't remember what i was going to say, SO MOVING ON.
The Connection sequence, at the end, yes? I don't understand what you mean about melodrama, but the way I read 'heart' is currently as 'the heart of the story' which right now is, 'there is always the chance that this could all be one elaborate lie.' It's been there since the beginning, ever since knowing Loki was the God of Mischief, Silvertongue. The way you had Hermione break from, for lack of a better word, the trance, made it seem to me as if the entire discussion with Loki an illusion of itself. Oh shoot. I'm starting to lose my train of thought. Um...
DAMN IT. I THOUGHT I HAD SOMETHING GOING THERE. It's gone. I'm sorry. However, might I ask, was the guillotine a foreshadow? It seemed slightly out of place, and so it seems like a bad omen.
Alright. I'm out of stuff. I await the next chapter. You say shit's gonna go down? That makes me excited. I love it when things take a bad turn. Also, this is probably the longest review i've done, ever. Did that help at all? I tried.
| MorgannaLeFae chapter 4 . 6/18/2012
Sappy? Maybe a bit, but undercut by deeper tides. Loki's playing towards an endgame that we've only just glimpsed. Hermione understands that on some level, however she is still naive and a little bit enamoured. She's going to need discord and experience and pain to round out her almost instinctual understanding of Loki's psyche. The connection, is that Hermione's natural magic reaching out, a byproduct of her innate curiosity? Building blocks, pleasant and tinged with a dark future.