|Reviews for Incipiens: A New Beginning|
| Lay Down Hunter chapter 1 . 8/26/2012
Update it this looks good
| Dyranum chapter 1 . 7/20/2012
So sorry for not getting to this sooner. Some of the dialogue taken from the games is riddled with misheared words. I advice you that you use subtitles to acquire those as they are much less likely to be "misheard".
The writing itself as improved, though there are still errors, mainly grammatical. Odd sentence structures can be seen throughout. Now, what needs to be worked on here is mostly detailing environments. Also, do separate different PoVs and suchwise with straight lines. It is much clearer that way than what you did in one section here.
| Silver Omega 01 chapter 1 . 6/29/2012
Interesting so far, i'm looking forward to seeing more of the Mass Effect parts of the story.
| Jarvey chapter 1 . 6/11/2012
| Jack chapter 1 . 6/10/2012
Some of the sentences are wrong eg: "To those who follow the false prophets. They would lead you to your doom. You call this Reclamation...the humans are the Reclaimers. They are the Forerunners true children, the inheritor of all they left behind. You have been lied to. I am Mendicant Bias and this is my last testament to atone for my sins."
"Those who follow the false Prophets would only lead them to their doom. You call this Reclamation...this is Reclaimer. "They are the Forerunners true children, the inheritor of all they left behind. You have been lied to. I am Mendicant Bias and this is my last testament to atone for my sins."
Other than that this story is pretty good keep going.
| Criticanon chapter 1 . 6/10/2012
Interesting. I like where this is going.
| mr I hate znt nobles kill em chapter 1 . 6/7/2012
sorry couldn't private message you
| OrderlyAnarchist chapter 1 . 6/6/2012
So, you're going to give the turians a navy of 50000 ships. You are aware that that is at least 50 times the in game strength right. That is a completely ridiculous number, and you should most certainly not use it.