|Reviews for Lineage II|
| Guest chapter 9 . 11/17
"The Phindians cheered. Obi Wan lay deathly still. Qui Gon waited. And the Force stood silent witness to it all, betraying none of its secrets."
- powerful image, quiet earth-shattering struggle while above-ground there is celebration. A little like TPM - everyone else was already celebrating while Obi-Wan was still struggling with Darth Maul.
The entire few paragraphs describing Obi waking up are utterly gorgeous, they flow with light like a river of dreams :)
| Guest chapter 8 . 11/17
Splendour broke through the cloud, in a blinding shaft. Obi Wan's smile was the ageless defiance of new dawn, pure arctic fire, a saber's blade in the midst of darkness. "I haven't lost. I'm just not winning at the moment."
-quintessential, beautiful Obi-Wan :D what an amazing paragraph!
| Guest chapter 5 . 11/17
"And your names inscribed on the plaque, so!"
- oh Force, please tell me it says Jedi-Gon and Obawan instead of Qui-Gon Jinn and Obi-Wan Kenobi! XD
| Guest chapter 3 . 11/17
"Light made it warm, and his fingers closed about it, like the hilt of the weapon already lovingly crafted in his mind, and he knew. And with knowledge came a flare of anger, which he let pass, and then a stronger flare of power, which he seized and wielded. The sustained Force suggestion thrown against him shattered like glass in a rising gale, splintered fragments shredding the illusion to ethereal dust, leaving raw waking reality and his hot resentment starkly opposed in the small chamber."
- awesome! I thought Obi was naive/innocent when he first judged "oh he's a Padawan. Like me! Not a threat" - and it actl does turn out that way :D
It's also sad though. Obi's young betrayal and loss of innocence. But i think this is a more realistic portrayal of Jedi - Sentinels and Shadows exist for a reason.
| Guest chapter 1 . 11/17
"Which is only a responsive, passive focal point. Of course your Padawan thinks the Force simply, quite inexplicably, happened to flow through the stone when he most needed it. Quite the naïf, that boy."
- d'awwww :D young, oblivious and so-talented-but-he-doesn't-know-it Obi-Wan! He sounds so young here now, upon rereading xD
Love the shout-out to Qui and Mace's friendship; Mace is underappreciated. And Obi-Wan's gotten Qui wrapped around his finger now, aww xD
| Ibelin chapter 10 . 9/16
OKAY in the twenty seconds between now and when I posted my previous review, I've corrected several of my misunderstandings about the workings of , and realized that much of the activity I thought was from "a hella long time ago" is in fact from like, a month ago. Ha... I'm embarrassed.
"For anyone but you, my master, it would be only a pretty rock."
WHAT A GLORIOUS INSOLENT LITTLE... JERK... HONESTLY. I LOVE HIM. OH MY GOSH. /OH/ MY GOSH. I can't believe his gall - I was so impressed when I first read that.
This is the point at which I'm going to sit down at your feet and pay due homage to the fact that evERYTHING YOU WRITE IS SO /ALIVE/. I'M AMAZED. The Jedi Temple, for instance: all the beings you've assembled, from the High Council personalities, to Ben-To Li, to Feld Spruu, to the creche squad, to Tahl, to the Sentinels... are all tied together with such excellent detail of hierarchy, feeling, and relationships that I have so much more of a concept of the Jedi as a /living community/, as a family, from the Lineage series than I've gotten from almost any other medium. The "Re-Entry" series on AO3 would be probably the only near-contender for that title, but with Lineage it's not even only the Jedi. The Phindian society in general and the Derrida brothers' family in particular are also so well-drawn and characterized that it's /easy/ to care about them, easy to believe even when they're such colorful and over-the-top characters.
AND POOR OBI-WAN! The mind-wipe, his run-in with the Sentinels, and then almost shooting Qui-Gon's lightsaber through his own chest to avoid falling victim to the Phindians' subconscious programming. My poor, stubborn, strong-minded kiddo!
| By water dragon chapter 10 . 8/6
This AU is spectacular. Between the characterization, plot, and descriptions of the Force you've beat the JA series by parsecs, and I honestly can't pick a favorite part. Thank you so much for this superb fic!
| PatrickMcKinney chapter 9 . 8/4
I just needed to pop in; these are absolutely amazing. They are such a nuanced and creative retelling of the Jedi Apprentice books, which I already loved, but yours are actually better. I can't wait to keep reading your series. Thank you!
| Guest chapter 2 . 7/19
""I shall be seen and not heard," he said."
- hahaha this is growth and progress isn't it. Obi-Wan says years later: "I shall go nowhere, say nothing, and accomplish even less." XD
The little flinch is saddening. There's only one other time that i think Obi-Wan thought Qui-Gon would strike him in anger, in the aftermath of that somewhat-botched mission where Qui-Gon was forced to torture Obi-Wan. I think their relationship becomes a lot stronger from these early days, and Obi-Wan of course never flinches away from Qui-Gon after that. Bt it does make one wonder where this tendency came from.
| Guest chapter 1 . 7/19
*if ffnet acts up randomly. I've seen it happen before, and it was awful. Also, might u consider archiving on other sites like ao3 or tfnet? If nothing else, it's greater exposure for your writing :)
(Sorry, im on mobile and it ate part of my review just now)
| Guest chapter 1 . 7/19
"Master Li poured himself more tea. "Which is only a responsive, passive focal point. Of course your Padawan thinks the Force simply, quite inexplicably, happened to flow through the stone when he most needed it. Quite the naïf, that boy." "
- and spectacular it was, when after all those years of trial and painful growth, that naive little boy revisits this subject. :) it's one of my favorite things that i've ever read, with ten years on this site, a lifetime library membership and school literature. Lineage, Legacy, and all the side stories, combine to give that particular chapter a breathtaking radiance, like a prism that gains sparkle with every new facet.
It is an utter delight to revisit these relatively-innocent beginnings, with the promise of such a future in mind. Please tell me you keep back-ups of all your works, because it would be a real loss if f
| Ai chapter 10 . 5/17
Love the intrigue. And the Phindar speech! Can't tell if Dooku is Fallen yet or merely being super creepy.
| Guest Floater chapter 3 . 9/7/2014
Woah! That chapter was a bit creepy and slight disturbing. Your description of the subtle undercurrents in Syfo-Dyas’ quarters, as well as the nonverbal communications and cues that magnified the silent presences in the room into prominent relief was very well done. I had assumed that the elegant cough belonged to Dooku. The other one? I had no clue until round two.
I also liked Obi Wan’s bold opening gambit and quick wit, as well as the part where he gathers his focus and shatters the illusion that Chiros attempted to place on him. It’s nice to see how Qui Gon can feel his padawan’s distress through their bond and hasten to his side. The descriptor of how the lift dawdled inexcusably on the way down just illustrates how much the Jedi master cares for his apprentice. Nicely done!
| Guest Floater chapter 2 . 9/7/2014
Ahhh come on! No! What’s this about Qui Gon dying and everything? Obi had a vision that the Temple was destroyed too? Just when I thought we were over the bump and heading out of the woods, if not entirely clear of the forest yet. Reading this chapter in light of recent events on Tatooine is making me very, very nervous again.
You know what? I’m going to pretend for my own peace of mind that the vision is a warning from the force to one so gifted with foresight, one out of a great many fluid possibilities and not indicative of a future set in stone. From master to pupil, who then becomes master to a new generation of padawans, Qui Gon, Obi Wan, and Anakin will forge a new destiny together. The triumvirate shall prevail! (Hits prerecorded cheers button)
On a more positive note, it’s good to see both master and apprentice take some personal time to catch up with their friends, whether its to do a little research together or kick the tar out of each other in the name of fun and games. That part regarding Qui Gon’s new admirer? Cracked me up! I honestly don’t know where you get your humor but it’s absolutely hilarious!
| Guest Floater chapter 1 . 8/20/2014
Ha ha! What a great start to Lineage II! I love your characterization of young Obi Wan! He's so humble and self-depreciating, attributing his relative well being to a simple river rock when it was his own will and fortitude that allowed him to endure and prevail against the memory wipe droid. Despite having been through a harrowing ordeal I really enjoyed how resilient you've portrayed him, bouncing right back with the quick wit when Ben-To asked him how long he had to hold on for. It's also fun to see him retain his childhood curiosity and pick up on the occasional intergalactic depreciation when someone slips their tongue even in the midst of a healer's ward. Now that he is officially in an apprenticeship and traveling beyond the protected halls of the temple I suspect his vocabulary will be expanding quite rapidly. That scene where he resists the healer's force suggestion that he get some rest: priceless!
Thinking back, that stone nicely illustrates the difference between Qui Gon's two padawans doesn't it? While Obi Wan accepts his life day gift with respect and gratitude, Xan seems to just dismiss anything he cannot see the inherit value of outright. He comes across as somewhat arrogant for an apprentice, rejecting the stone even after his master has already told him how precious it really was. If he is already making light of his master's goodwill now, it's no wonder their teamwork wasn't meant to be.
It's too bad that Qui Gon feels responsible for Xan's actions and has to spend all this effort trying to make amends for all the trouble his former padawan stirred up. I'm glad Mace stepped in to assure him that the council is already looking into it so that he can focus his attention on training Obi Wan. Xanatos already blotched his chance, so it's only fair that his transgressions should not adversely affect the education of Qui's new apprentice. May they have many interesting years ahead! :)