|Reviews for Lineage II|
| Aggie2011 chapter 10 . 3/31
I don't know why your stories aren't busting with hundreds of reviews. My only explanation is that the JA fandom is relatively small. I should have taken the time to review every chapter as read this last night, but it was already past 1am and I have a toddler that had me up at 7am...so really I should have been sleeping. But I could NOT stop reading. I pulled up this fic with the full intention of saving it until the morning, but then I caught a glimpse of the first few paragraphs and then here I was, 10 chapters later. I already praised your writing style in my review of Lineage I, but I'll do it again here for the sake of anyone checking reviews. I'm so impressed with the way you construct your thoughts and the way you style the sentences and most of all the dialogue you give the characters. I LOVE sassy Obi Wan and reluctantly amused Qui Gon. Even more though, I love protective Qui Gon and you delivered that here too. My favorite part of this story though, was Obi Wan's strength. Strength he doesn't even realize he HAS. Even after everything, he STILL thinks it was the stone, won't even consider that it was HIM that was so strong, so powerful. I love a character that doesn't realize their worth, and that is Obi Wan here. I love it. So, that being said, I'm off to post a new chapter for my own ongoing fic (different fandom) and then I'm gonna go binge read the rest of the Lineage series and then read the Legacy series and then read all your OTHER fics. So there goes the rest of my life.
| AsianTwinkiesFTW chapter 10 . 3/8
"Yes master, I am ready."
AND THEN I DIED
| AsianTwinkiesFTW chapter 7 . 3/8
" 'Ah, I confess,' he smiled. 'I should undoubtedly have a large harem. For the good of the galaxy, you understand.' "
QUI GON you can't say that to your padawan think of the CHILDREN
| Guest chapter 9 . 11/17/2015
"The Phindians cheered. Obi Wan lay deathly still. Qui Gon waited. And the Force stood silent witness to it all, betraying none of its secrets."
- powerful image, quiet earth-shattering struggle while above-ground there is celebration. A little like TPM - everyone else was already celebrating while Obi-Wan was still struggling with Darth Maul.
The entire few paragraphs describing Obi waking up are utterly gorgeous, they flow with light like a river of dreams :)
| Guest chapter 8 . 11/17/2015
Splendour broke through the cloud, in a blinding shaft. Obi Wan's smile was the ageless defiance of new dawn, pure arctic fire, a saber's blade in the midst of darkness. "I haven't lost. I'm just not winning at the moment."
-quintessential, beautiful Obi-Wan :D what an amazing paragraph!
| Guest chapter 5 . 11/17/2015
"And your names inscribed on the plaque, so!"
- oh Force, please tell me it says Jedi-Gon and Obawan instead of Qui-Gon Jinn and Obi-Wan Kenobi! XD
| Guest chapter 3 . 11/17/2015
"Light made it warm, and his fingers closed about it, like the hilt of the weapon already lovingly crafted in his mind, and he knew. And with knowledge came a flare of anger, which he let pass, and then a stronger flare of power, which he seized and wielded. The sustained Force suggestion thrown against him shattered like glass in a rising gale, splintered fragments shredding the illusion to ethereal dust, leaving raw waking reality and his hot resentment starkly opposed in the small chamber."
- awesome! I thought Obi was naive/innocent when he first judged "oh he's a Padawan. Like me! Not a threat" - and it actl does turn out that way :D
It's also sad though. Obi's young betrayal and loss of innocence. But i think this is a more realistic portrayal of Jedi - Sentinels and Shadows exist for a reason.
| Guest chapter 1 . 11/17/2015
"Which is only a responsive, passive focal point. Of course your Padawan thinks the Force simply, quite inexplicably, happened to flow through the stone when he most needed it. Quite the naïf, that boy."
- d'awwww :D young, oblivious and so-talented-but-he-doesn't-know-it Obi-Wan! He sounds so young here now, upon rereading xD
Love the shout-out to Qui and Mace's friendship; Mace is underappreciated. And Obi-Wan's gotten Qui wrapped around his finger now, aww xD
| Ibelin chapter 10 . 9/16/2015
OKAY in the twenty seconds between now and when I posted my previous review, I've corrected several of my misunderstandings about the workings of , and realized that much of the activity I thought was from "a hella long time ago" is in fact from like, a month ago. Ha... I'm embarrassed.
"For anyone but you, my master, it would be only a pretty rock."
WHAT A GLORIOUS INSOLENT LITTLE... JERK... HONESTLY. I LOVE HIM. OH MY GOSH. /OH/ MY GOSH. I can't believe his gall - I was so impressed when I first read that.
This is the point at which I'm going to sit down at your feet and pay due homage to the fact that evERYTHING YOU WRITE IS SO /ALIVE/. I'M AMAZED. The Jedi Temple, for instance: all the beings you've assembled, from the High Council personalities, to Ben-To Li, to Feld Spruu, to the creche squad, to Tahl, to the Sentinels... are all tied together with such excellent detail of hierarchy, feeling, and relationships that I have so much more of a concept of the Jedi as a /living community/, as a family, from the Lineage series than I've gotten from almost any other medium. The "Re-Entry" series on AO3 would be probably the only near-contender for that title, but with Lineage it's not even only the Jedi. The Phindian society in general and the Derrida brothers' family in particular are also so well-drawn and characterized that it's /easy/ to care about them, easy to believe even when they're such colorful and over-the-top characters.
AND POOR OBI-WAN! The mind-wipe, his run-in with the Sentinels, and then almost shooting Qui-Gon's lightsaber through his own chest to avoid falling victim to the Phindians' subconscious programming. My poor, stubborn, strong-minded kiddo!
| By water dragon chapter 10 . 8/6/2015
This AU is spectacular. Between the characterization, plot, and descriptions of the Force you've beat the JA series by parsecs, and I honestly can't pick a favorite part. Thank you so much for this superb fic!
| PatrickMcKinney chapter 9 . 8/4/2015
I just needed to pop in; these are absolutely amazing. They are such a nuanced and creative retelling of the Jedi Apprentice books, which I already loved, but yours are actually better. I can't wait to keep reading your series. Thank you!
| Guest chapter 2 . 7/19/2015
""I shall be seen and not heard," he said."
- hahaha this is growth and progress isn't it. Obi-Wan says years later: "I shall go nowhere, say nothing, and accomplish even less." XD
The little flinch is saddening. There's only one other time that i think Obi-Wan thought Qui-Gon would strike him in anger, in the aftermath of that somewhat-botched mission where Qui-Gon was forced to torture Obi-Wan. I think their relationship becomes a lot stronger from these early days, and Obi-Wan of course never flinches away from Qui-Gon after that. Bt it does make one wonder where this tendency came from.
| Guest chapter 1 . 7/19/2015
*if ffnet acts up randomly. I've seen it happen before, and it was awful. Also, might u consider archiving on other sites like ao3 or tfnet? If nothing else, it's greater exposure for your writing :)
(Sorry, im on mobile and it ate part of my review just now)
| Guest chapter 1 . 7/19/2015
"Master Li poured himself more tea. "Which is only a responsive, passive focal point. Of course your Padawan thinks the Force simply, quite inexplicably, happened to flow through the stone when he most needed it. Quite the naïf, that boy." "
- and spectacular it was, when after all those years of trial and painful growth, that naive little boy revisits this subject. :) it's one of my favorite things that i've ever read, with ten years on this site, a lifetime library membership and school literature. Lineage, Legacy, and all the side stories, combine to give that particular chapter a breathtaking radiance, like a prism that gains sparkle with every new facet.
It is an utter delight to revisit these relatively-innocent beginnings, with the promise of such a future in mind. Please tell me you keep back-ups of all your works, because it would be a real loss if f
| Ai chapter 10 . 5/17/2015
Love the intrigue. And the Phindar speech! Can't tell if Dooku is Fallen yet or merely being super creepy.