|Reviews for Dylan West's Revelation Scene|
| Blue Eyes Arch Angel chapter 2 . 5/15/2013
This was amazing,I could feel his fear and embarrassment over the whole situation,he was definitely my favourite,I'd love if you could expand this story!
| Momosharp chapter 2 . 2/17/2013
Amazing job :) your story writing skills are fabulous!
| iamtyping98 chapter 2 . 1/6/2013
An excellent follow up.
| KayNightshade chapter 2 . 1/5/2013
I love youre story! Im so glad you wrote another chapter! :-D
| Spottedmoth123 chapter 1 . 12/17/2012
hey, this is pretty good! I'll try and write a half-decent review even though I have no clue what this is supposed to be a fanfiction for:
Ok, so first off, you start it off good; you give a revealing yet not extensive overview of the main character, and then you introduce the problem when the teacher calls on him.
The first "mistake" I picked up on is really small. When you say "I scrape my desk back, taking as long as possible to get to the front of the room." I'm assuming you mean to say "I scrape my chair back,..." and not "I scrape my desk back".
The next "mistake" is in the ending/ closing. If this is a one-shot, then there should be a more solid ending, wrapping up the problem and/or revealing what happens next. Such as, does he run away in embarrassment, does he face his classmates and teacher, ext.
If this is a multi-chapter fanfiction, then the closing is ok. I, myself, prefer to end chapters with a cliff-hanger, however, this does not NEED to happen.
Finally, if this is ALL of the fanfiction and you are writing a sequel, then this is just incorrect. It is very rare for anyone to write a sequel to a one-shot, and if they do, it is normally not what happens directly afterward; it would most likely be sometime later in their life/ afterlife. The majority of people who write sequels write basically an entire novel (in fanfiction form, multiple chapters), and then write a sequel in novel or short story format as well.
Anyways, I just made it seem a lot worse than it is, the majority of this is good literature (on fanfiction terms, anyways). I hope this helps with future fanfictions/chapters!
| KayNightshade chapter 1 . 10/26/2012
Awesome chapter I loved it. I hope you do write a sequel
| dreamydaydreamer chapter 1 . 7/29/2012
*annoying chanting voice* SE-QUEL! SE-QUEL! SE-QUEL!
| penguincrazy chapter 1 . 7/25/2012
This was really good, i hope you write a sequel someday because I would definitely read it!
| katluvfashion chapter 1 . 7/20/2012
I thought that was great!
| Individual-Medley chapter 1 . 7/15/2012
Love it! Always love Zoom..
you know who this is
| iamtyping98 chapter 1 . 6/26/2012
Okay, to be honest, this was good. REALLY good. You placed the reader inside of the character's mind, perfectly seeing and doing what they are. You also perfectly pulled off the little tidbits of sarcasm and humor. Well done.