|Reviews for Naruto: The Super Prodigy|
| Guest chapter 9 . 8/31/2013
| sendicard chapter 1 . 8/10/2013
You lied, it has been over 7 days and I haven't gotten a notification from your existence.
Regardless, there are 47,839 words for me to look at now. I see you had a Beta this chapter already, a very small chapter but let's see if I can show my existence.
"Ninja Academy of Konohagakure no Sato:" So instead of describing the setting, you come straight out and tell us. Such a promising start to a story. Feeling excited already.
"Naruto got up from his seat and approached the teachers." This sentence is taken straight from a script, there is no life in the line as it is direct action, no life, no flow, no description, no reaction. This would be passable as it is only one line and not every line can be great, but combined with the fact that you have given no background and lines like "Naruto performed both the jutsus flawlessly." as a norm, you end up with a script. I'm hoping this is just the fact that we are in the prologue, but I get a bad feeling about this.
"Naruto, Henge into me then perform a kawarimi with the duster that lies on that table" What duster, what table? All the reader has been given is that we are at the Ninja Academy, We know nothing of the scene.
"That was a jutsu Naruto could never manage to do." "That" refers to a topic or sentence that is not a part of this one, making this stand alone sentence a dependent clause. A stand alone dependent clause is a fragment sentence.
"Of course he tried his best but it was to no avail." Of course, is a reply from a previous thought. If you have connecting thoughts, then connect them. Just, try not to go overboard, it should stay proper.
You throw in an author's note, breaking the rules, focus, and flow to explain something that could easily be explained in the story with little to no effort. The reason you didn't is that it would require effort and actually having a damn setting, which you don't.
"But Naruto was never a person to back down." This is a connecting thought that is connected to nothing, a dependent clause that stands alone. Fragment.
"Even he couldn't perform that technique he'd try it again anyway." Even if, you're missing the if.
Failed? Oh are we at graduation? Really could have been told that before hand. You know the Bunshin are the first things tested right? Because of that we really have no idea what the test includes as it was failed long before we got to see anything.
"He started feeling a little uncomfortable about something. " Even feelings are in script form how? Is this a story or a damn play? Although that might not be a good comparison as a play is normally pretty good with their scripty nature.
"And the most surprising thing is that he got this sensation whenever he came near some certain person."
Dependent clause that stands alone, this is two paragraphs man! Two Paragraphs come on!
Oh and "some" is the wrong word thre.
This is too much to be simply missed, the only conclusion I can come up with is that you either got a beta who foolishly took a job they REALLY shouldn't have, or you have been sabotaged.
"And I am promising you that next time, it won't be such a puny little chapter." Dependent clause... I'm not saying this again, it's the damn author's note!
You sure we can't keep it small, this review was two paragraphs. I'm not sure I can deal with big, you see big implies... Alright. You better learn damn it! Be a waste of my good effort if you don't.
| A Fan chapter 7 . 7/17/2013
I would have given Sasuke a 5.5 for intelligence. No offence but he just doesn't seem that smart.
| captainjuby chapter 4 . 7/5/2013
please can you take a look at your grammar in this chapter and the last chapter it didn't make sense in some places for example. it make much sense did it but other than that it is good, very good
| Thorndsword chapter 2 . 6/27/2013
"Naruto who was listening to this was feeling anxious and nervous but at the same time extremely happy and glad that he could know his mother who died on the night of Kyuubi's attack on Konoha, his beloved village. He loves this village very much. People hated him. But he didn't care. And he truly could sense their pain of losing their near & dear ones."
That's called battered wife syndrome. Your Naruto is an idiot.
| Guest chapter 8 . 6/27/2013
| Lord Kolos chapter 8 . 6/27/2013
I want a huge fall out between Danzo and Hokage. I want Danzo Dead. I dont understand why Danzo is given free reign in all the fanfics
| kkrar00 chapter 7 . 6/1/2013
awesome story!. must add this to my favorite
| kingrobert84 chapter 7 . 4/9/2013
doin great man whens update?
| Nagato wannabe chapter 1 . 3/12/2013
Let me guess "Mizuki"...
| Guest chapter 1 . 3/11/2013
Your chapter are too short, your grammar sucks, and the fact that you're considering an overused pairing helps doom this fic to obscurity.
Go back to school, or learn how to properly write.
| geetac chapter 7 . 3/11/2013
I like the chapter very much.
| Rygetsu chapter 1 . 3/10/2013
I was only able to get through the first two chapters before the continuous grammatical errors became too much, I would very STRONGLY suggest you stop writing more at the moment and focus on fixing the mess you've already thrown out. Believe it or not, majority of the people who read stories on here are educated so reading what could be made by an elementary student is frowned upon... I'm not saying that you should stop this story, quite the opposite in fact. I'm just saying you need to fix the grammatical mess you've created
| Mrbiggs132 chapter 7 . 3/10/2013
I like the story thus far, just a lil spelling errors here and there, but a excellent story so far. Keep it up.
| god of all chapter 7 . 3/10/2013
Great chapter and story so far please continue this story soon.