|Reviews for Little Green Monster|
| Guest chapter 1 . 5/4/2013
I love it! You never see much of Percy, huh?
| thehazeleyedloser chapter 1 . 3/25/2013
“Envy is the worst emotion anyone can feel. At least sadness can be rectified with a hug and a kind shoulder. Hatred can be show with fists and a sharp tongue. But envy is nothing but lustful stares and longing thoughts, all bottled up inside until one is ready to explode.”
i really loved this!
| neglect chapter 1 . 10/4/2012
Ooh, the bitterness of this fic really got to me, and it's very beautiful writing, a job well done. Percy's attitude is absolutely perfect in your story, I think you did very well with characterization, and now that I think about it, all your facts are true and well-researched. I love the last sentence, too. Like even though he wants to change, he can't stop being just Percy. x))
[[It wasn't that Percy had no talents, he was smart, he could memorize a book after reading it...]] In this sentence, I think you should put a colon or semicolon (; or :) after 'talents' instead, as it would work better grammatically. I also noticed you didn't capatalize 'Quaffle' or 'Snitch', and also a mistake in 'one's' when talking about Percy's brothers.
A well-written, humorous yet sad fic. :)
| reminiscent-afterthought chapter 1 . 6/21/2012
Aww, poor Percy. We normally see Ron as the subject of envy, but this is just as believable.
[Then Ron, Ron who was probably the dimmest of the bunch was also the most revered.] - you don't need the second "was" there.
[After all Ron was best friends with Harry Potter] - a comma after "all".
[saved Ginny, he was brave.] - I'd say a fullstop would go there better than a comma. A semi-colon too, but fullstop is probably best. More of a punch.
Just a few nitpricks. :)
I love the ending especially. It's so...touching. I need a thesaurus.
| Mr Bellatrix Lestrange chapter 1 . 6/21/2012
There were a fair few mistakes to this, and a sentence that came off a bit awkward to read. But that was easy to overlook, because this was just such a good read. I like how you described each of the exponential traits that the family members' biggest traits- each one that made them.. them! And how you ended each little segment with /how/ could he ever beat that really emphasized the longing he wished for but could never have. My favourite was Bill, as he truly came off as an angel. But I'm not quite so fooled, as I've seen the faults in each of them too. Yet when you're bent on what you can't have, it's near impossible to recognize that. We know that one thing Percy examplifies is his loyalty, to whatever he chooses, be it against his family or for them. Ginny and Ron's little sections were also lovely to read. So this pretty much deserves a lot of my kudos. Good job on it!
| Midnight and Magic chapter 1 . 6/21/2012
I never really liked Percy. I found him annoying and horrible. His attitude was just...eh. Anyway, this fanfic actually made me feel slightly bad for him. It was nice to read something in Percy's view. I always expected it to be something around the lines of envy.
Well written and a good read! :)
This line made me laugh:
"There was Fred and George, the terror twins that made life at the Burrow living hell."
I bet LOTS of people say that about them. XP
| Phoenix Flare 68 chapter 1 . 6/12/2012
Oh, this is so sad. I really do feel bad for Percy, especially when you put it like this. Poor thing!
| Ninja Potter chapter 1 . 6/11/2012
First off, let me say that Percy is one of my favorite characters to read about so I was thrilled when there was a story that needed reviewing about him! He's a character that could go so many ways. He could be carefree (kind of like a more realistic version of Luna) or he could be jealous (like you wrote him). Either way, it's intriguing.
I loved how you went through every Weasley like this (and the way that it was in order from oldest to youngest). I wish I could tell Percy that he should be proud that he has such wonderful siblings. You hit every character spot on. I really liked Ron's because I never had really thought about him that way before. He's always kind of in the shadows but he really is a Gryffindor.
This is a case where you can't push someone to be who they aren't. It's just sad that because he's different, he gets shoved into that role of the least favorite Weasley. I really do like him.
Oh my gosh, this is a long review but I just have so much to say about this one shot! It's perfect. I only wish that it had more reviews. Everyone should read this.
| flawsmadebeautiful chapter 1 . 6/11/2012
I liked it-it described Fred and George perfectly. We never really knew Bill and Charlie so it was good to see what others thought of them. Ginny, the only girl out of all the Weasley bunch. I think Percy wasn’t that bad, he just wanted to be noticed for once.