|Reviews for Disillusionment|
| gaylelbf chapter 23 . 6/21
Such well written emotional drama!
| tremaCEE chapter 23 . 6/12
Ugh! The angst! The drama! Everything! At least, I know that Merlin and Arthur are good again. Just sad that Merlin and Gwen didn't settle things well between each other. The Mordred part... I'd wondered when he would come into the story since Morgana died, so I kind of expected him to show up. But I wish the conversation between Merlin and Kilgharrah was written before the end of the story.
Wow! I nearly cried a number of times. At first at the beginning, when Lucan pointed out Arthur's and the knights' negligence (though he was wrong about Arthur not being the Once and Future King), then when Merlin told Arthur he was leaving Camelot. It was too much. The pain, the hurt, the loss... I understand that Arthur doesn't deserve Merlin in his life after everything, but it was evident that he was ready to pay for his debts.
Oh, and I loved the way you portrayed the loss of Merlin's innocence. The Merlin in your story is colder than the canon version shown in Season 5. I like it.
Morgana's death was fitting. I didn't see a problem with that (even though I'm a big fan of Mergana). That just doesn't know when to give up or when not to piss off an angry Emrys. I mean, seriously, you don't piss off the most powerful warlock ever by killing his close friend and expect him to play nice with you in return.
Percival and George's deaths hit me harder than I thought. Ah, George. I never thought I'd come to like him in any way, but I enjoyed his role in this story. At first, it was weird, but I got used to it and started to feel proud of him. To me, he died a hero.
Such a lovely, intense story. So interesting that it nearly made me forget about my upcoming exams. You are an amazing writer and I appreciate your talent. 'Disillusionment' is something the creators of 'Merlin' need to read in order to evaluate the way they have treated our favourite hero. I mean, the show ended and Albion wasn't even born. Come on, they need to read this.
*drops mic* *leaves room*
| Guest chapter 23 . 6/5
What a brilliant story. Absolutely loved it.
| TheMerlinAddict chapter 23 . 5/23
Ahhh I loved reading this! You made me cry at the goodbye scene at the stables, their embrace was just so heartbreaking! You had me hooked, I couldn't stop reading! Great spending of my free time 5 years after this was written. Gosh, 2013 is so long ago now! :')
| Guest chapter 21 . 4/5
Uther turned against magic because he didn't believe that his wife would be the payment for the magic used to give him a son.
It wasn't her 'death' at the hands of a sorcerer, it was Uther not listening to the fact that a life must be given for a life created - he was told that but couldn't handle the guilt.
| Guest chapter 19 . 4/5
And once again Arthur proves that he doesn't know Merlin, the fact that Merlin killed Morgana and Arthur couldn't believe it. He has the nerve to think less of Merlin too.
Typical Arthur trying to decide that he's the one that knows best. Merlin wasn't there as one of Arthur's subjects, because he's not (he's from a different kingdom as Ealdor isn't in Camelot), he was there as someone who wanted to defeat Morgana, who was a threat to everyone.
| proton chapter 1 . 3/26
5x13 blowns all of this fic's characterization of Merlin to smithereens, so I think this really needed OOC warning. Merlin would have NEVER abandoned Arthur, it has never been about Destiny or reward for him, as 5x05 and 5x13 make crystal clear. "I was born to serve you, Arthur, and I'm proud of that and I WOULDN'T CHANGE A THING".
This Merlin is just not the TV show's Merlin. He is COMPLETELY out of character here.
And Arthur? The amount of Arthur's hate in this fic, dear god. Yes, sometimes he was a huge jerk on the show, but not all the time as he is depicted here. He had always noticed when Merlin was off or frustrated or sad, he even counted the days since the last Merlin's smile, the amount of times he came to comfort Merlin. All while he couldn't even tell when his own wife wasn't quite herself. "All those jokes about you being a coward, Merlin. I've never really meant any of them. I've always though you were the bravest man I've ever met". Arthur obviously always cared. But he was emotionally constipated, he just couldn't say it to Merlin. But I don't think that Merlin didn't know that, that he actually considered Arthur as this abusive bully and nothing else to him.
Also Arthur in the TV show had never ever shown any signs of being envious of Merlin's wisdom. If he had problems with someone being more wise than him, he would have never married Gwen. I think the most obvious and simple explanation to Merlin not being promoted was that actually Merlin himself DIDN'T WANT to. Merlin wanted to be by Arthur's side all the time and Arthur wanted to have Merlin with him all the time and the only occupation he could have given to Merlin to justify such a thing was being his manservant. If Merlin were a knight or an official adviser, they couldn't have spent so much time together as they did. And Merlin was actually okay with that, in fact, he didn't want to be anywhere else. Maybe people don't like that Merlin was canonnically written that way, but it is still his character.
So, yes, while I agree that the relationship on the show was unbalanced and hugely problematic, I also don't think that this fics reflects canonical Arthur/Merlin relationship. They are both OOC, Arthur less so, but OOC too. Merlin had never really truly believed that Arthur would kill him for magic reveal. "I didn't want to put you in that position" - that was his true reason. And Arthur wasn't the only one responsible for the unbalance in their relationship. As this fic briefly acknowledges, Merlin did quite a lot of questionable things towards Arthur too, the amount of lies on his side, he lied so long, even when he had no other reason to lie, aside from the fear of losing Arthur. But this fic also instantly forgets about it and pictures Arthur as the only responsible for all their problems, all while Arthur was always honest with Merlin, much more honest than with anyone else in his life. He even lied to his wife, but not to Merlin. And still this fic makes Arthur crawling on his knees before Merlin asking for his forgiveness?
Sorry, but this fic really needed OOC warning.
| Ryan chapter 23 . 1/6
You did what few others have done, you've written not only a believable story but you also did it the right way. Not skipping out on thoughts, feelings and descriptions. Those are the meat of the story and you provided. Thank you for the read!
| RacquelDee chapter 23 . 12/10/2017
I decided to reread this story again and despite knowing what would happen, I was in tears again when Merlin left. This is such a fantastic story and you are an amazing writer.
| ninagayler chapter 8 . 11/18/2017
Love the way you wrote about how belatedly Merlin’s friends come to an epithany- how they had not treated Merlin as he deserved to be treated.
| FloweryPot chapter 15 . 9/17/2017
Am I the only one who loves Lucan? Like, seriously. He's so concerned for Merlin and he just wants Merlin to be happy and be able to use his magic freely and enjoy life since he knows that Merlin deserves so much more than what Arthur had offered him. And I got shivers during the heated conversation between him and Arthur near the fireplace. He voiced my exact thoughts when he told Arthur that Merlin was not a possession. You tell him, man! Gotta love that guy. He genuinely cares for Merlin, from the bottom of his heart, and it pains him to see Merlin so distraught and broken over Arthur and all the years spent in Camelot and not being able to get over the terrible past and his suffering during those years. And his his blatant disregard for Arthur's status as a King! I relate to this dude so much, since he basically voices all my thoughts and feelings about Merlin and Arthur. Arthur totally deserves all the anger and fury thrown at him. But I'm glad he's sort of on the way to mending his relationship with Merlin! Yay. And I love Gwaine! Love that Merlin forgave him and considered him a true friend. He really was, just like Lancelot in the series. Those two were possibly Merlin's only true best friends. Considering that fact that they both shared a secret with him that no one else knew about: Gwaine's noble birth and Lancelot knowing that Merlin had magic, and ACCEPTING HIM without batting an eye. Wonderful people, honestly. ;u; And now I proceed to read the next chappie!
| TheGoldenAge chapter 14 . 9/17/2017
God I love Lucan and his arguments with Arthur, Arthur totally deserves it and I love seeing him get so ashamed. Ha. Merlin isn't Arthur's possession, so Lucan's not a thief. You tell him, Lucan! :)
The servant George is so hilarious! Gotta love his reactions and thoughts about cleaning and being all proper. It's really introspective to see things from his point of view.
And how could I forget about Gwaine? I was so happy that Merlin forgave him, and so easily! It makes one realize that Gwaine was probably the only true best friend Merlin had, aside from Lancelot. Both knights were helped by Merlin and in turn helped Merlin, and even shared secrets with him that were not shared with anyone else: Gwaine's noble birth and how he kept it a secret from everyone except Merlin and became best buds with him, and Merlin's secret of having magic which Merlin told Lancelot and no one else asides from Gauis. These two, I love. ;-; They were two of my favorite characters...still are, always will be. They had such a beautiful and deep friendship with Merlin. They were so noble and courageous, and extremely loyal to Merlin and Arthur. Gosh I love those two. ;-; *Sniffles*
| TheGoldenAge chapter 14 . 9/17/2017
Omg YESSSSSSSSSS! I LOVED this whole chapter and all the heartfelt emotions and anguish coming out from both Merlin and Arthur and how they were having so much trouble communicating! Especially Merlin, WOW. I'm so glad he finally to go off on Arthur for all the years of being a loyal servant yet being mistreated and neglected and overlooked to such extremes! The pain and anger of his character was palpable! Seeing a slightly crazed Merlin was also fun, hehe. Glad that all his pent up emotions and feelings finally got the chance to be let out. I was totally rooting for him the whole way through. Arthur's points were barely worthy of mentioning...and what was with that slap? :( Merlin didn't even insult Gwen or anything, and Arthur just hits him! I guess he had the feeling Merlin was going too far. While I'm glad Merlin calmed down just enough to put aside this matter for now and focus on the real issue at hand, I strongly believe he has every right to be furious with Arthur and all the years of mistreatment he faced while living in Camelot. I hope he stays with Lucan in Ostia after this ordeal is over with. He deserves the time to think about everything that's happened, and I don't want him to forgive Arthur so easily. Maybe in the future he'll return...
| mayatrau chapter 23 . 9/3/2017
I see its been a while since you wrote this story but i still watnted to tell you that I think it was amazing and it made me remember how good the Merlin really is... if you ever think of eriting a sequal I think it eould be wonderful!
| ninagayler chapter 22 . 8/31/2017
I really like that Merlin has had enough of being emotionally abused and stood up for himself. He is doing what is best for himself to grow as a person. Bravo!