|Reviews for The Boy|
| Conpeki chapter 1 . 6/13/2012
Love the last line, lol.
Curious, though. Why is Harry blind? And why did Ibiki accept food from a stranger, kind of. Could have been poisoned.
| xXxOtAkU-444xXx chapter 1 . 6/12/2012
I like it! **
| iSaint chapter 1 . 6/12/2012
A few quick things, hope you don't mind.
1. It seems very weird that Ibiki would consider eating something from a person he knows nothing about. Seems a bit out of character for a guy who works Torture and Intelligence, and who, up to that point, seemed like he didn't trust HP.
2. I'm wondering why HP is blind. It didn't really seem to impact the story much, but it was a decision you made. I find that very interesting. It could because you wanted the skew the power dynamic even more, which makes sense, but little kid and older, ninja man seems already pretty one sided.
3. I like your pacing for the most part, but I feel like for this to truly be a one shot you needed to have at least some mutual conflict between your two protagonists (Ibiki and HP). Resolution without conflict seems less intense and satisfying. If they had to work a bit to get together it would mean more to the reader and, hopefully, you.
Well, not the type of story I would write. But you seem to have a great gasp on the fundamentals, and while I wasn't a huge fan of the subject matter, it was still interesting. Good luck in your future endeavors, and feel free to ignore everything I said.
| Akrakomatia chapter 1 . 6/12/2012
Can't argue with ibiki's logic. Lol.
It was a nice read, thank you.
| Noctisis Rrhagia chapter 1 . 6/12/2012
*falls over laughing* Hehe, too much.
| Dark Neko 4000 chapter 1 . 6/12/2012
Can Harry still talk to Snakes
What going to happen next
| Aharah Musici chapter 1 . 6/12/2012
BUAHAHAH. More Newton! Anyways, much love, as always.
| tokhito chapter 1 . 6/12/2012
Hahaha. Yes, cold water is much better.. Looking forward your next chapter :)
| WereBunny87 chapter 1 . 6/12/2012
Lol! I loved this! Great job!