|Reviews for Wendy Breaks Away|
| guest chapter 15 . 1/26/2014
i want a boyfriend like that
| futurejelly chapter 14 . 12/26/2013
So I want you to know that I'm enjoying the story so far, but these family coincidences are kind of grating. First, Edward is Peter's brother, now Hook is Peter's father. My creative writing professor once told me that you have to do what's best for the story, not what's best for you. I almost stopped reading when the whole brother thing came up, so just know that as a reader I found these to be too big of a coincidence. I know your dad wanted the Hook thing, but then you should have gotten rid of the Edward as a brother aspect. Your use of language and character behavior is so good, I don't want you to get caught up in these big "twists" that really just wind up sounding more like cliches. I will keep reading, but it's more out of loyalty now because the story feels a little gimmicky. If the secret family elements were eliminated, this would be my favorite Pan story. It was already exciting, you don't have to throw more twists at it.
Also, I realize you've already finished this story, haha. Just for future reference because I think you've got such great potential as a writer!
| futurejelly chapter 1 . 12/26/2013
Alright I've just finished chapter one so I can't comment on the story much more than to say I'm very intrigued. The language is great and the premise is very promising. I find myself very glad that this story is complete so I can keep reading!
| Goldenapples chapter 17 . 11/22/2013
I so love this story 3333 this is the perfect ending
| lady of stone chapter 13 . 8/18/2013
WHAT THE HELLLLLLLLLL!
| DramaQueen127 chapter 16 . 3/9/2013
could you write a sequel/prequel about what happened after the last chapter, because I thought Peter stayed with Wendy in the mainland did they go back after they were married and had a daughter?
| DramaQueen127 chapter 14 . 3/9/2013
oh thank the lord!
| TempduLoupe chapter 13 . 2/24/2013
OH SHIT! So didn't expect that O_O
| Leah N. Cross chapter 17 . 12/7/2012
Greatest! Fanfiction ever! There was never a part of this story I was bord with or thought of it cliche. You made amazing scenes, with wonderful dialogue. I'm definately going to read more of your work. Thank you for writing 3
| Leah N. Cross chapter 2 . 12/7/2012
I have to say, you did an awesome job writing this. It feels more like a sequal to the movie, than a fanfiction. I wonder what else did you write?
| Creative Huey chapter 1 . 11/29/2012
I have only read the first two prologues and chapter 2 but I love this story. It pulled me in and I can't wait to finish it! I wonder who Wendy will pick? Sir Edward or Peter? Great job to you and it puts me in the story as if I'm Wendy. Wonderful job!
| GINGERWEASLEY2 chapter 15 . 11/21/2012
the star was type of thing was a bit annoying but i love the last line is amazing do you mind if i put it on my profile?
this is my penname but im just not logged in
| lloa chapter 13 . 11/21/2012
no offense but this starts to get ridikulous
| alcatluvr13 chapter 17 . 11/20/2012
That's great! I'm glad to hear that you're branching out. Whether it's moving on into a new school/college, or opening new horizons in your writing career, it's always good to look for new opportunities. And you'll always have this to come back to if you get stuck, or need to backtrack a little.
On that note, do you think you'll ever finish this particular fanfiction? I'd love to know what happens in the end. Please don't leave me hanging! That's me just being selfish, but I've really enjoyed this, not only because you're writing is great, but I think the plot is pretty cool too. That's what makes a great writer, is leaving your readers wanting more. ;P
Good luck with your originals! I'll have to keep an eye out for those.
| Little Missus chapter 9 . 11/1/2012