|Reviews for Be Careful What You Wish For|
| Mariana chapter 63 . 6/17
Yay! Your back.!
Ohhh larissa is gonna get her first time! (Wink wink)
poor sebastian will be the perfectionist as always. The only thing I am worried about is larissa getting prego...ciel will literally try to kill sebastian if that happens.
Well till next time oh great author , please remember that we are the weirdos that appreciate your effort and writing... *thundoris claps*
| xenocanaan chapter 63 . 6/15
Wonderful chapter! I’m so happy tht you updated! I can’t wait to read more!
| Juzuo chapter 62 . 6/11
PLEASE UPDATE MY DEAR,
CAUSE I REALLY REALLY FEAR THAT YOUVE FORGOT THOSE OF US THAT’RE STILL HERE, WAITING IS SUCH A BORE AND I WANT MORE, OF YOUR DELICIOUS STORY, YOUR TANTALIZING WORDS ARE MUDDLING MY BRAIN, THEY ERASE MY PAIN, SO PLEASE UPDATE YOUR WONDERFUL, NICE, BEAUTIFULLY WRITTEN,
| loopymama chapter 62 . 6/11
this is fantastic. please update soon xoxo
| Juuzuo chapter 62 . 5/10
This was a great chapter with a great ending :)
| Paige McCarthy chapter 9 . 5/2
Oh wow. I can't believe I just realised this. This story reminds me of the custodian series. Wow. I don't know why, but I couldn't help but imagine her as Faedra from that book series. I don't even know why, but that is my favourite books series of all time - other than Harry Potter - so that's ridiculously high praise from me~!
| Lynaida chapter 62 . 4/29
Can't wait for your next update! I really love your story, it's actually one of my favorites.
| Aservis Roturier chapter 58 . 4/21
A very exciting chapter. I look forward to seeing Grey get his comeuppance. Ihope you have something appropriately clever and evil planned for him.
Your formatting has taken a big step forward as well. Well done!
| Itachiuchiha33 chapter 62 . 4/15
| Sanne schouten chapter 62 . 4/14
I’m soo impressed you keep this story so interesting! You really have a talent for writing keep it up! Really excited to see how this will all work out!
| Aservis Roturier chapter 34 . 4/2
It's true about them messing up even the basic way to shorthand an email or address, but if you scatter the information through a sentence like you sort of already did with humongous and DA they can,'touch you. Like you could say for an email you could say your domain was gee mail, and to use your full name as seen in your ffnet account and then add the year the Norman's conquered the island England is on, I doubt any computer is clever enough to sort that out.
| Guest chapter 27 . 4/2
This was a truly 'has it all' kind of chapter. angst and drama, a brilliant insertion of another canon character-you are really good at that-and a very funny an then sweet scene at the nice.
Now a few pointers:
wearytired. WARYfeeling a bit fearful.
"Your wierd, Sebastian,..." Any time you can break the word which sounds like 'your' into 'you are' and substitute it into the sentence you just wrote, and it makes sense, it should be written 'you're.' You're is a contraction of you and are. When it's functioning as a mark of possession (your demon lover, your glow-in-the-dark-well-spanked butt) spelling it 'y-o-u-r-' is perfectly correct. You TOTALLY need a demonic tutor in your life too, don't you.
On the plus side, I see you are getting the comma and quotes in a sentence containing both a tag (the 'he said' bit) and a bit of dialog too, now, fantastic and congrats! (or did you finally get a semi-competent beta reader? If so, good, but keep looking for a better one still. If they can't sort out your/you're they've no business being a beta.)
Exited for the rest of the story now-well done!
| Guest chapter 25 . 4/1
"clobber" stone paths!? No, COBBLE stone.
"you look more mature when you pull your hair out." No, you'll just look like you've developed mange when you make bald spots all over your head. Can you see why mistakes like these detract from your beautiful story? You need a beta reader DESPERATELY. And if you already have one you need a BETTER one.
"...and the heels I have will empathize that." Nothing that isn't alive can emPATHIZE. You want emPHASIZE.
"What about stray heel (heelS) is suppose(D) to be attractive?" What about a pair of high heels makes them an animal which has wandered away from home? In what sense are heels 'stray' or separated from the rest of the pack/group/home? Sorry, but the word has no other meaning.
Here are some mnemonics to help sort out TO, TOO and TWO. TOO has an excess of o's in it. Its the one that means you have an overabundance of something, too funny, this, and that too,
TWO is the oddball of the triplets, the only one with letters other than T and O. It's also the only one which represents a number. Two feet, two eyes. Two annoying reviews from 'that annoying guest.'
If it's not a number or an excess then it's TO. When I first learned about these guys I wrote that on a card and had it on the schooldesk right beside me every time I had to write something. Took me about a week to get it memorized after I started using that. Occasionally I still have to ask myself which it is, but the mnemonic still helps me keep them straight. Maybe it will help you too. Homonyms and homophones are bitches because there's no help for it but to memorize them.
I'm so glad you cut back on the chatter between your protag and the Sam character you had so much of at the beginning. It was authentic, way TOO authentic. I blew this story off for several years because there was so much of that vacuous blab between those two in the first couple of chapters. I was afraid it was all going to be like that. It reminded me of my I could never stand to spend time around teenagers especially the girls. They are so sure their chatter is hysterical like they were the first humans to discover the dirty joke or something. This story took a huge swing upward in readability once we got the other characters in the story. Much less annoying and way more entertaining!
Really looking forward to getting caught up, both to get current with the story but also to see how well you'll have sorted out these issues. I noticed others have mentioned some of them in your reviews. One thing fanfics are great for is helping you weed out big issues, as well as helping you learn to take criticism and learn from it instead of taking it personally. Chapter 25 and already I can see a big improvement in your writing skills. You must really be doing that already.
| Guest chapter 24 . 4/1
What is this, reverse psychology? At any rate (and secure in the knowledge you will probably get more reviews on this chapter than any other) telling you right now: you're a crap judge of your own writing skills. That was probably your best chapter yet.
| Guest chapter 23 . 4/1
Is there any chance you might have a hearing problem? The way you are always dropping the endings off words, the 'ed's and the 's'es... you know I can't decide if it's laziness or if English is maybe a second language for you or even if your hearing is partially damaged. The longer I stare at you coming up with things like 'leggys' for 'leggings' the more I wish I could talk to you in person to check whether you have the habit of blasting your ears with headphones turned up far too high. Damage like that only gets worse the older you get you know? I don't want to constantly be slamming someone constantly for laziness or carelessness when really they're half deaf... I went through similar angst in my youngest school years thanks to my mother's constant smoking keeping me in a continual state off ear infections, and later difficulties with schoolwork because I was severely near-sighted and nobody knew it. I know that stuff is no fun, especially when you're catching hell for being lazy when you're doing your best- not fun.
As for the story itself, you're still going strong and even improving as you go-it's very encouraging and great to have another potential great amongst fanfic writers coming 't get discouraged! Everybody has bad habits and errors they need to unlearn and new things to take on board when they start to write. You are learning fast and that's great to see.
Keep it up!