|Reviews for Moving On: Thalia and Luke|
| SilverWing321 chapter 1 . 5/26
This was amazing. The whole thing, and then the way you ended it, it was just like...wow...I'm speechless.
I mean, the main part of the story was up to your usual standards (which are super good, btw), it was a steady stream of consciousness that takes you into Thalia's mind and shows you a whole other aspect to her personality thats never really shown, and it lets you relate to her.
But that's not what I really liked about this. No, what sold me was the ending. That final quote from the book. You never really mentioned where Thalia was or when she was thinking about this, but that last quote shows you where she is, and makes you realize that this whole one-shot is taking place inside her head, and is just a single thought that probably only lasted one second before she joined the hunters. It gives that whole scene in the book a whole new meaning, and makes you see it in a totally different light. It makes you see it as Thalia's biggest sacrifice, as her great act of leaving it all behind, and trying to move on.
This was just truly one of a kind. Definitely my second favorite of all your one shots (my first favorite was "Fading Yesterday")
So as always,amazing job, and keep up the good writing
All the best,
| 0mgjenny chapter 1 . 8/6/2013
:) very nice! I love your stories!
| ten million fireflies chapter 1 . 6/26/2012
This was really good! I found the emotion to be very raw and believable and I thought you characterized Thalia very well. I like how you wrote her as forcing herself to let go and move on instead of the haunted-for-years approach I've seen (and used) before. It's consistent with her character in canon.
Other than a few minor typos, my one criticism is just be careful to "show, don't tell." A few times in this story, you seemed to just say what Thalia was feeling, instead of implying it through action or her thoughts. As this is a shorter piece, it's understandable and not really much of a problem, but I thought I'd mention it nonetheless :)
I always really enjoy your stories and this is no exception. Wonderful job; I love Thuke and this provides a peaceful, if bittersweet, conclusion to their story. Amazing work and keep writing! :)
| ChosenMortal chapter 1 . 6/18/2012
Oh, I love it!
It's kinda short though.
Can U also continue 'The perfect mistake' please? I'm craving for that one _
| Todai chapter 1 . 6/16/2012
Nice introspective piece! Pretty deep and well-developed internal conflict and climax. I caught a few typos though...
"It's a feeling Thalia's all too use to."
- I think you meant "used to."
"It stings him the same way in burns her."
- Pretty sure you meant 'the same way [it] burns her.
Anyway, nice work! Looking forward to reading more over the summer. :)