Reviews for When Worlds Collide
sasukekawaii5332 chapter 10 . 10/26/2014
Plz update the story's getting good!
Guest chapter 10 . 10/23/2014
Ah... This fanfiction. It's... eh. It's sort of okay for what it's worth.

What I didn't really like was the fact that your OC is a Mary-Sue. Makayla just doesn't seem original or anything new that I've seen. She just feels like... plastic. A cardboard cut out of what has already been done with so many other people, if you will. And, the plot... isn't that great, to be completely honest. It is sort of all over the place, having no real grounding. I don't really understand what is happening at times. It just seems silly and unbelievable.

Another thing is, I like to believe that what happens in stories in the Ratchet and Clank fandom would be something that could actually happen in the games. This really doesn't match up for me. Ratchet and Clank seem OCC. Plus, I don't remember robots being able to cry... He isn't an organic lifeform. It's extremely confusing when you blur the lines of Clank being an organic between being an actual robot. I don't really believe it's actually them I'm reading about. I feel like I'm reading about a fake version of them. It also seemed like you tried to jam too many ideas in to one story, which makes the whole thing seem overall sloppy.

Also, you separate the dialogue from everything, in its own place, and it's fine if you connect the dialogue and 'she said' or 'I said'. (I.e.: "I loved 'Into the Nexus'. It was awesome!" I grinned.) When you cut those 'I said' or 'I stuttered' or 'he mumbled' off from the actual speaking lines, it makes everything sort of abrupt and choppy.

If I had to give a score on how good the story was, I'd have to give a 5/10.

I'm not trying to be mean. I'm trying to give you constructive criticism on what you could do better. The story isn't terrible, it is just unbelievable and messy. In no way should you stop writing, because you're not bad by any means. You are good at setting the scene and descriptions. Although, you should work on setting a plot and just driving it forward. Also, try not to completely change characters that are already created and made and have their own personality and abilities, you gotta stick to their original character creation.

Cheers
Guest chapter 10 . 3/10/2013
Loled at the screensaver and Slenderman reference. I did not expect the suggested three way coupling, that's kinda cool. Can't wait for the next chapter!
Foenix Nightshade chapter 10 . 3/10/2013
How many times is Ratchet gonna faint?
Anywho, awesome chapter! Can't wait for the next!
Reyaumbra chapter 10 . 3/7/2013
YESSS

xDD
This is awesome, keep it up!
solaheartnet chapter 9 . 2/20/2013
Haha update soon please xD I love the humor in this xD
Foenix Nightshade chapter 9 . 2/8/2013
I TOTALLY CAN'T WAIT FOR THE NEXT CHAPTER!
I'm hyper...

Nipah :D
Guest chapter 9 . 2/6/2013
Glad to see this updated! Can't wait for the next chapter!
YellowDizzyLombax chapter 9 . 2/5/2013
Woo, can't wait to see what happens in the next chapter! Keep up the great work! :D
lamp chapter 8 . 1/17/2013
now keep im mind im not a critic so my opinion will most likely mean nothing but i will say this. one of the best fanfics of ratchet and clank i ever read (so far) i say so far because its not finished yet but i can allready tell this is gonna be one hell of a story. keep up the amazing work. sighed by:lamp (aka not a critic)
Ebonydarkness chapter 1 . 1/16/2013
KATE IS A MARY SUE!1!
Reyaumbra chapter 8 . 11/30/2012
Pahhahahahaha XDD 'Yeah, Fuck you Bitch!'

I can't tell you how hard I laughed at that line...
Reyaumbra chapter 7 . 11/23/2012
oooh... :3
*nosebleed*

Please update soon :D
Guest chapter 7 . 11/16/2012
Can't wait for the next chapter!
YellowDizzyLombax chapter 7 . 11/17/2012
Need to read the next chapter now! I want to know what Ratchet's reaction is like!
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