|Reviews for We Will Laugh at Gilded Butterflies|
| Guest chapter 18 . 1/18
I love your story! Sometime it tKes a great story to get a writer back on track.
| jacksperluvr chapter 18 . 1/8
i liked it a lot
| Narisadar chapter 18 . 12/9/2014
OMG. This story is so beautiful. It's perfection. I really love Nick, I think he is just absolutely adorable even though he's 18 now and has a child. I just cannot express how much I love this story, like seriously its beyond perfection, its like mega-perfection or infinite-perfection or something.
| Prettylily22 chapter 18 . 11/15/2014
I really enjoyed this story. The only thing I would suggest you read back over the story and check to see if you choose thecorrect names at the appropriate times.
| AussieGirl16 chapter 18 . 10/7/2014
| twlightbella chapter 18 . 9/22/2014
Emmett and Bella married ,nick is with heather and their son max, Melissa and Lillian twins and five, patrick who is one and half Riley and Bree are remarried and Jason has a little brother named Jackson
| twlightbella chapter 3 . 9/22/2014
Emmett and Bella are falling for each other with Emmett's son Nicholas liking her too
| Twihardder chapter 12 . 9/12/2014
The idea of this story seems good. However, there's too many grammatical errors. It makes it tough to read. There's a huge difference between they're/their/there, your/you're, rode/road. The sentences run too long. Most of the time I can ignore those mistakes. But, not being able to keep up with the correct names/characters in your own story is too hard to ignore. It causes too much confusion.
I love to read stories with Emmett and Bella as a couple. Maybe with a beta, those errors could be corrected. I'd love to come back and try reading again after that.
| LizziePaige chapter 7 . 9/2/2014
Wow, I cannot believe you had Bella let fly with the F word on her first visit to the possible in-laws?! And when were Aro and Bella an item? It makes it seem as if they were together for awhile by the way he's speaking? Or was this all wishful thinking on his behalf?
| LizziePaige chapter 6 . 9/2/2014
Mmmmmm... I'm not sure about Nick always being upset about not having a mother and other kids teasing him. He has never had a mother, since she left almost straight after his birth, so he's never known any difference. Kids at 4 are very understanding, they know that many families are different, single parent families and blended families are the norm these days. I can only gather if this Lance kid is teasing Nick this is something he has learnt from home, which is a shame at that age.
Also, it was not Bella's place to agree like that to Nick's request to be his mother without talking it through thoroughly with Emmett, that all seemed very immature to me. It seems that anything Nick requests she always says yes to without looking ahead to any possible consequences at all.
| LizziePaige chapter 3 . 9/2/2014
Enjoying the story and the actual plot. Emmett and Nick are great characters, will be interested to see where you take this. I'm thinking Mike is a bit of a tool!
I have to say, your writing doesn't always flow and it is quite difficult to read at times though. I'm not adding the following comments to flame, (although I'm sure some may see it as such) but to review the actual writing.
I have to ask, do you have a pre reader or beta? If not I'd suggest you have a good read through each chapter before you post. The reason I query this is that there are obvious spelling and grammar errors, which at time, make it very hard to read. You badly need to add some commas in places, your sentences just run on, and I continually have to go back and read over to ensure I understand what you are saying.
Also... there, their and they're are completely different words which you are getting wrong, sorry but that's just fundamental, which you should pick up on before you post.
Reading on... :)
| TwiFanfictionRecs chapter 1 . 9/1/2014
We Will Laugh At Gilded Butterflies has been nominated in the poll to find the Top 10 fics completed in August on www . twifanfictionrecs . com
| Am Team Wolf chapter 18 . 8/30/2014
Ahh! I love this story! I love your ending!
| kryman002 chapter 18 . 8/9/2014
tear tear its over! I loved it all
| Titch chapter 1 . 8/7/2014
WARNING: this is probably what you'd consider a flame, but I'd say it's just friendly advice because I want to continue reading but...
Nice concept but I'm turned off almost immediately by your over-qualifications:
1. "Nicolas wasn't really as sociable as the other kids ergo didn't get out much." (Just leave it as 'wasn't really as sociable as the other kids').
2. "...He kind of just sits by himself and reads his books or plays Legos by himself." (Could just say 'he just sits alone, reading books or playing with the Lego').
3. "...He didn't like playing with other kids because he didn't have a mom like most of the other kids did." (Maybe instead: 'He didn't like playing with the other children because he envied them having mothers' - although why this matters I don't know. When children get really involved in playing games they don't talk about their parents.)
Also, based on what you wrote about Emmett telling Nicolas his mother was just a nice lady who wasn't responsible enough to mother him, and the fact that she left right after his birth, I can't see why he is so traumatised over not having a mother. It's all he'll ever have known: just having a father. Sure, as an older child being curious, I could understand it I guess; but this level of depression for a four year old: no! Especially the 'that girlfriend paid my child to like her thing' - most little kids I know can't keep a secret for the life of them, so Emmett would probably have found out right away! And if she was just a passing girlfriend, I doubt he would have left her alone with Nicolas for any extended period. I mean, realistically, being four years old, how much of that payment idea would he have been able to understand anyway? It sounds like all this is just a problem for Emmett, and unless Emmett is pushing his feelings onto his son, then Nicolas should not be acting in this way unless he had some sort of disability or condition. Does he?-I've only read this chapter.
Emmett's treatment of his assistant: douchebag! I'd tell Bella to get the hell away from him, if he's yelling at people without real cause. Did he ask his assistant to remind him of his schedule when he laid out her job criteria?-obviously not because she tells him he didn't. Even Edward is laughing about him forgetting Nicolas. Not cool, dude.
Also, you really need to use some punctuation, commas at the least. I don't really understand this when I read it, quite simply because of your lack of commas.