Hope her daughter fucks as casually and is as much of a whore as she is. Butch has the audacity to say she has self control, yet fucks anything that flicks her switch.

I'm gonna be honest, my dude, I really don't know how you imagine Jen is likeable. She really really really isn't. She's literally the worst human being in your fanfic. I assume that's exactly what you intended when you wrote her, but she's not just a bad person. She's also the kind of character I wouldn't mind if she lost.

Or Narcissa is a bastard

Bloody idiot... 'Knowing only hate and cruelty' could very well be pointing to her upbringing, an upbringing causes by you dear

I had a bit of a reservation starting to read this, as I'm not that much of a fan of dark stories, but the personality the mc shows just in the first chapter is enough for me to get hooked.

And truly, it's not like there aren't other main characters with personality traits like Jen, but here, there is a well-defined reason why she is like that and it just gives that much more credibility to the story.

Without further ado, let the binge-reading begin! Reeadyyyy..., GO!

I am very confused. Jen is blind, yet you seem to completely forget that unless it is explicitly mentioned in the story. If a blind character is the main focus of your story, you can't write about the facial expressions and movements of other characters unless Jen herself knows that they are doing these things. Which she doesn't. You're confusing your audience because it's making them think that Jen can actually see what's going on, and it's a harsh slap to the face when we're reminded "oh wait, yeah she's blind."

Also, your nonchalant playoff of Narcissa being a literal pedophile and Sirius participating in beastiality is sick. It is gross. It isn't funny. It doesn't matter if Jen thinks those things are fine because "that's just how she grew up uwu," it shouldn't be treated like it's just a fun playdate at the LEGO festival. There are ways to have these topics in your story as a normal way of life without wording it to be "funny."

Rowling has publicly admitted during an interview that she didn't even glance at a calendar. Every September 1st is a Monday in her books.

Fabulous story. Love the disclaimers.

Bagman at the beginning of this chapter:Listen here you little shits

I'm gonna be honest, while the rest of the fanfic was really interesting, I think the revelation about Narcissa and how it didn't result in her immediate ejection from the story, but was instead turned into a joking conversation about the family's kinks was BY FAR the worst aspect of the story.

Sokka AtLA

Star Wars quote from Harry. Brownie please lol even if it's 7 years late

Personally I thought she'd get a non-wand focus, like prayer beads of black pearl and onyx with a thread of woven platinum

I know this is an impopular opinion, but I don't really like how all authors make Luna wayyyy more relevant than she really is, she always more 'special' than she was in cannon, I guess im just tired of it.
Other than that, I really like the story, this is the only 'major' negative point in my opinion.

I want to kill the potters. And dumbledore. You do a very good job of making them absolutely hateable but not completelyevil »...