|Reviews for PunchOut! Second Round|
| StrangerDenB4 chapter 13 . 2/16
Hey there, loving this story!
However, this chapter... felt odd. For one thing, the Indonesian's all wrong. (Well, some of them worked)
Being Indonesian myself, I'll help ya make Ghost's dialogs work. Warning: The meaning may be longer, but think of it like Japanese; if you use Google translate, they words are jumbled up. Indonesian is kinda like that. Also if you're writing GD to be a formal person, well you're using the Indonesian here well, since they all sound formal.
"Come to me" should be "Kemarilah... Kepadaku" because "untuk aku" is "for me"
"I miss?" should be "Meleset?", basically the same as "Missed?" since "Aku Rindu" is used for something like "I miss you" instead of not hitting the target.
"Disini" is usually used to indicate a location, like "The pen is here." Personally, I would use "Rasakan ini" which closely means "Take this"
I get what you mean by using the Indonesian for "Time for more" which is good, but accurately, I would use "Mari... bertarung lagi." which means "Come... fight again."
"kapal" means "ship" so I really suggest you changed that. I would use the line "Istirahatlah, wadahku... Giliranku untuk bertarung." "Akulah Grave Digger yang asli... Tunjukkanlah kemampuan generasi ini kepadaku!" which means "I am the true Grave Digger... Show me what this new generation is capable of!"
The Indonesian for the "I will not use my ghostly body..." part is WAY jumbled up. "Should have been, "Saya tidak akan menggunakan tubuh remang saya untuk menghindar seranganmu..." which is the same line you typed in English. As for the translations for "It will defeat the purpose..." line, the closest translation I can think up is "Sia-sia jika saya melakukan itu dalam pertarungan ini..." which means "It is pointless if I use it in this fight..."
"Menipu" is an adjective (I think, been a while since I studied this XD) which goes with the words like "I am fooling this person" so you should use "Bodoh" which means "stupid" but that's how it's used here.
Kecil does really mean little, but I think you're using it like "Why you little..." but it does not work like that. Use "SIalan" which means "Damn"
The knocking down giants part is kinda right, but it should go like, "Aku merobohkan raksasa sebelum engkau lahir, bocah!" which means "I've knocked down giants before you were born, boy!". And "Anak binatang" means literally "animal child" So he's calling him a baby animal... Rude XD
But again, that's the thing I came up with that fits.
The Indonesian for the tremble line, should've been "Waktunya engkau bergemetar!" (PS engkau is the formal way for saying you)
For "You will know fea!r" the Indonesian should be "Engkau akan tahu rasa takut!"
The "The only thing that can stop me" line is good, for the "not even that can stop me!" part, should've been "Sekarang, itupun tidak bisa menghentikanku!"
"Anda akan kehilangan" actually means "You will lose" but in the context of "You will lose this item" so it should be "Anda akan kalah"
Which reminds me, both Anda and Engkau are formal versions of the word You. Just like how Japan has multiple versions for the word you, just different level of politeness.
So the word "You are... weak" should be translated into "Engkau... Lemah"
The "Feels good to win again" should be "Aah, sungguh enak rasanya untuk menang lagi!"
Well, that's it! I dunno where you get your translations from, I doubt that the other non-English lines in previous chapters are accurate, but I still love this story! Thanks for adding a character from my country here (feels like we're the underdogs in fiction, rarely being in the spotlight lol)
Honestly, I have difficulties translating Indonesian to English, but the ones I gave you are the ones felt right when I said it. More... common, I think.
Again, I love this story, and hope you'll make the ending epic (or sad, just like his last stand in the Wii game) and hopefully you could find people that help you translate the words to their native tongues accurately
| NeverLander852 chapter 19 . 1/27
DO TITLE DEFENCE NOW!
| CRYSTALTEAR020 chapter 19 . 1/20
All I'll say, is good luck, Little Mac, defending your title. You're gonna need it.
| acosta perez jose ramiro chapter 19 . 1/14
Hey, this is pretty good.
Heh, I'm kinda expecting Megan to be the one defeating Mac.
keep the good writing.
| Martial Arts Master chapter 19 . 1/14
Just a note: throwing someone in jail without a trial is unconstitutional. Beyond that, great chapter, and I'n looking forward to the Title Defense matches!
| NeverLander852 chapter 8 . 1/13
| Pokemon200016 chapter 18 . 11/30/2013
Loved it! Can't wait to see if you continue it!
| Riderman09 chapter 1 . 11/20/2013
Great Job with this Fic!
can ya write a Sequel to this Fic? this time Mac faces against... Animals?
Can Little Mac Fight through the Animal Boxing Challenge?
| Magic Detective chapter 18 . 11/17/2013
Nice way to end this with him fainting...
| Metal Harbinger chapter 17 . 10/23/2013
I'm liking all your original characters you've used in this story, really playing where Nintendo could have continued. I've always liked games like this and am looking forward to what happens next.
| Knockout chapter 4 . 7/26/2013
Aborginal mythology- you owe me a cookie- and you stereotyped australians really well.
| Joseph A. Genesis chapter 18 . 7/21/2013
Hey man. I really liked the amount of thought you put into this. The Punch Out was always there and I loved it. I hope we get to the next chapter or next fic or whatever it is.
| Martial Arts Master chapter 18 . 7/2/2013
Well, that makes sense. I was wondering why Hammad seemed to lack the other boxers' trash-talking tendencies. This chapter explains it.
I'm looking forward to future chapters!
| Magic Detective chapter 5 . 6/25/2013
LM? Little Megan?
| Irken chapter 18 . 6/22/2013
That was awesome! I love this fanfic so much. It really feels like you're playing the game! Although that part with Mac dodging CR's punches...if that's not a cutscene, I'd be stuck on that part for weeks, haha! Man, you really know how to make an epic battle. I can't wait for Chapter 19!