|Reviews for Twelve Years|
| writhen heart .inactive chapter 1 . 12/1/2013
Whaaa! SO beautiful! I absolutely adore how you write Remus/Sirius reunions, it's amazing.
| The Scarlet Letter chapter 1 . 10/22/2012
This is beautiful :)
| SereneMayhem chapter 1 . 8/12/2012
Aww, so sweet! I love your writing and I love this!
| FiveSecondsOfCrazy chapter 1 . 7/30/2012
A creative take on Remus/Sirius :) Nicely done.
| Satan Abraham chapter 1 . 7/14/2012
Awwwww. :) This made me fangirl a little.
| Mr Bellatrix Lestrange chapter 1 . 7/11/2012
And now that I've gotten you on a Wolfstar kick, you've gone and signed up for the OTP Boot Camp :) I don't think I've ever told you this, but I used to be terrible at writing Wolfstar, and I think it's only because of you that I've gotten (marginally) better. And, you know, those fifty fics are going to be fun to read, because your Wolfstar is just very easy... I totally just now remembered that you wanted me to write you Deamus. Due time, my friend. Enough rambling.
(There is a gulf between them. It's twelve years wide, and it seems utterly impassable.) This, being the beginning of the whole story, is just amazing. I mean, this metaphorical gulf that we can see between them is already causing so much stress and incompleteness by being at the start of their "moment" together. And the fact they see it as impassable shows how much they both assume the other has changed. And of course the assumption is correct, but I think they fear that is the answer.
The repetition of the "Neither" emphasizes the difference between them. Because it could have been any other word, possibly, but the reason that "Neither" of them do anything is because it is excluding both of them. It's saying that neither of them can pass this 'gulf' that has grown over the past twelve years.
(Or, at least, putting up a face of living. Flipping pages. Pretending.) This is very beautiful, the use of words here. Because while Remus was doing his pretending, it was really mourning. And in a sense it was just as hard as Sirius must have faced, only under different circumstances. Especially if their relationship is how you've described it.
(But then rethought it as soon as he remembered.) *sob*
(He meets Sirius' eyes again and he can't help but feel like he's seventeen again) I like how this is reverted back to. Because it seems so hard to be adult for once, but that's not why. It's because maybe he /wants/ to lose himself again, and he likes how this is still the same after those twelve years apart, despite it all. The way he forces himself though. It accents the way things have changed about them. Because I doubt he would've done that when they were seventeen.
(It feels like they're dancing awkwardly around each other, trying not to tread on toes. Which isn't very fair, because they've both always been gifted dancers.) See, these are the kinds of little analogy/metaphors you do (I can never tell the difference). It's really sweet too, to compare them to dancers, skirting away from each other when things get tough.
(But not backwards, and maybe that's the problem. ) And of course forwards is always the way to go. But it is in my strong opinion that things forward are always much better than the things we leave behind. Maybe not the same people. Maybe not the same couple. But a better one because they have seen the darkest hour together, and they have made it through. And so, together, they have relearned all those pleasant things about the other. They have built a more trusting relationship because the fall they experienced was /because/ of that lack of trust. But regardless of all, they are determined. So it's sort of like starting over.
(they still fit as though they were made for each other.) Oh finally the happiness amongst the against! And the ending. Why do you write those to such the extent that they are just...! You know, you can keep doing that. I like it.
| Marauder-In-Disguise chapter 1 . 7/9/2012
Lovely, just lovely
| TamariChan chapter 1 . 7/4/2012
The last line is gorgeous. (Well, it's all gorgeous, but I'm trying to pick out specific things.)
Also, this. "This feels a lot like – maybe too much like – that moment. They're trying to figure out what's at stake here: what could be lost, what could be gained. There are so many ways this could go.
But not backwards, and maybe that's the problem. They can't go back. They can never go back. No matter how much this moment feels like a regression, they can never truly return to the way they were before. They aren't the same people as they were back then." Just this. So perfect. A ship manifesto right there. :)
| wujy chapter 1 . 6/25/2012
That is all. I'm not a slash fan, but this was beautiful. I love the colors you paint with when you write. I love your hyperbole and your metaphors.
Favorite line: "Which isn't very fair, because they've both always been gifted dancers."
| Lulu 7 chapter 1 . 6/23/2012
I really like the second to last bit about twelve years. The twelve years theme in general is surreal and very...cool.
Good luck during the competition.
| keep my issues drawn chapter 1 . 6/23/2012
I really loved this! It was adorable, angsty & awkward. Great job!
| Midnight and Magic chapter 1 . 6/20/2012
Since Remus and Sirius are two of favorite characters, I really enjoyed reading this piece for them. I liked the tension it showed in the beginning. Since I DON'T like the slash portion, I'll just say overall the writing was good. \
My favorite line:
"You go ahead." He freezes when he feels a cold finger on his chin, barely keeping himself from shuddering at the temperature.
It was worded lovely! :D
| MissingMommy chapter 1 . 6/20/2012
I really like the fact that you described the gulf between them as tweleve years wide. A lot can happen in twelve years and people change. There's no doubt that either of them didn't.
"Murmured" is another one of those awkward words. Just saying.
I like that even though Sirius is the one that needs comfort - at least to me, after Azkaban and all - that he's comforting Remus' guilty conscience (another awkward word). It really says a lot about Sirius' character and his loyalty to his friends.
One nitpick: "he cannot say that twelve years hasn't changed anything, he can say that even twelve years later, they still fit as though they were made for each other" - I think that first comma should be a period. It's creating a run-on sentence.
My favorite line was: "No matter how much this moment feels like a regression, they can never truly return to the way they were before. They aren't the same people as they were back then" - I don't know why, just is :D