|Reviews for Trinity Blood: Book 1: Divergent Path: rewrite|
| BlueWings900 chapter 59 . 1/14
Huh... ok so I gotta admit something. I go back to read my reviews of the past chapter since I usually comment about something that caught my attention, and that'll usually refresh my memory on the story.
Well confession out of the way, I read Kite00's review and that pretty much sums up my review for this chapter XD minus the completion part. But one thing... ARAN, AZUL, I love you guys! *blush
| Kite00 chapter 59 . 1/11
I told myself I wasn't going to read any fan fictions unless they were completed, but I couldn't help myself. Then you updated right when I got to the last chapter and I couldn't have been happier. I really enjoyed this chapter and overall this entire story is just awesome!
When Barrack yelled at Abel for ditching his guards, it sounded like a worried parent even though he was yelling at his Emperor. Hahaha, one mentally scared adult plus two potentially scared children and we get this awesome story. Love it!
| Narshia chapter 15 . 10/22/2014
I think the party where Seth explains the properties of the Krusnik and bacillus was left out. Also her getting permission to use the bacillus. Also Cain out of no where stars that he was promised shared control when all was said was a guarantee that his family will be protected.
I know these were mentioned in the original version of the book buti think they need to be brought over to the rewrite as well.
Other than that I liked the added scene with the mirror and Cains choice. Also I loved that Shane gets consumed. He deserved it! I also liked the mentality test result part. It really gives good insight into how Cain turns out later.
Also I was wondering if both tubes Seth used was 100% or was it 80%? Not sure if it'll be mentioned later since I haven't got there yet. Anyways I'm really enjoying the rewrite.
| Narshia chapter 8 . 10/7/2014
Truthfully I didn't care about the original divergent path story up until the Mars civil war. So the fact that the Civil War is starting early is making this a lot or exciting to read. I didn't care for the little spats that was between the to fighting nations in the original and that it was the cause for the Civil War eventually. It felt a little weak to me. But now since there was a stronger power struggle among the colonist from the beginning it feels more believable.
Also it sounds like the UN did not screen the colonists if this is happening.
| Narshia chapter 6 . 10/7/2014
I'm glad the media scene was still there but wasn't Cain given a prepared speech? I thought that was mentioned earlier. I though prepared speeches would be boring but I guess Cain could have improvised it to make it more enjoyable. I'm not sure what to think about Cain's very dark thoughts so far. It's starting to sound like he's always been like that and it wasn't the Krusnik's control/influence. I had the impression from the older version that he was worried about his siblings and that was twisted by the Krusnik to be in a very dark kind of way.
| Narshia chapter 5 . 10/7/2014
I liked the party where Abel was messing up while making cake. So far I like most of the change in the story and that some events are mentioned like the conversation on favorite food since it is mentioned in vehemens. I was also apprised that Cain included Lilith in the portrait since in the original story he saw her as outside of their group and hardly included her.
| BlueWings900 chapter 58 . 9/3/2014
And the Fortuna Brothers finally take stage! XD
| Guest chapter 1 . 9/3/2014
hi my name is melanie and i think you video story is relly sad. I now you did a good job on making the story, but if you seen the searis of Trinity Blood. Abel is a nice guy and the story make him sound like a bad guy, I am sorry but that is how I fell have a nice yaer. from melanie
| wenduo chapter 58 . 9/3/2014
Yes this chapter made more sense than the earlier one about why Abel couldn't get children i still feel sorry for almost everyone in this chapter... Especially Azul and Aran poor them always the innocent ones that have to pay for what others have done. Goo they will get it better soon :)
| BlueWings900 chapter 57 . 8/3/2014
I finally read it! This was probably the longest time it has ever taken me to read something. Dude, I swear I memorized half of this, WORD FOR WORD! So many people interrupting me right when I'm getting into the flow of things. Then when I go back to read it, I have to reread a couple lines just to remember what happened! But before I can even get done with a new sentence, someone else comes up to me! Then I talk to the person, because I don't want to be rude, but when I turn back to this chapter I forgot what I just read! And the process repeats itself!
I may have memorized a great portion of this, but I feel like none of it is connecting the way it usually does. Usually I can make a small summary in my head and recall something that caught my attention, a year after I read something... but I've been rereading this for several times and honestly I can't put it into my own words! I think of something, but I end up recalling a line from this chapter and I'm like, "those are not my words!"
Hopefully I can forget the words for the chapter, so I can actually read it instead of my brain flying through the words and 'reading' it to me before my eyes can. Its just like when I write my own story and then go back to reread it!
Anyway, this review sucks! I can't bring myself to care. Its late. I'm tired. My cousins... no wait, my entire family! Has something against me reading!
It was a nice chappie, though! I'm just grumpy :(
| Eurasian Lynx chapter 12 . 8/2/2014
YOU MEAN ONE COMMENT AWAY FROM NINTH PLACE. :D
And b/c I can't wait until I get there, holy shit Thomas what did you do to those poor soldiers. And by severed Alaric's head do you mean completely as in decapitation, mostly like Nearly Headless Nick, or partially like cutting the jugular, I'm sorry it was just sort of confusing as to what exactly happened there. B/c I thought he got decapitated but then it said he was grasping at the wound and if the head is separated from the body he can't control his arms so... I confuzzled. :(
Okay back to the chapter at hand.
I can only wonder what was going through Tabitha's mind when her antisocial superior shows up on her doorstep, on her day off no less. And I can only imagine what would go through Kayson's mind if he came back early when Abel was still there, alone, with his wife, the man who pays no social visits whatsoever, visiting his wife, when he's not there.
Trinity Blood: The Soap Opera
Tabitha: *nervously enters Abel's office*
Abel: Ah, good, listen lieutenant, I need you to head out to-
Tabitha: *puts finger over his lips* I need to talk to you.
Abel: *muffled* What are you doing?
Tabitha: Sir, *deep breath* I'm pregnant, and you're the father.
Abel: *still muffled* Wait when did this happen?
Kayson: You're tearing me apart Tabitha!
Tabitha: I'm sorry Kayson! It was an accident...
Kayson: NO! It wasn't, it can't have been... Not with how you still act around him. Tabitha, I can't. I can't do this. *turns towards door*
Tabitha: *crying* NO! *lunges for his hand* You can't leave me! *falls to knees begging as she clings to his hand*
Kayson: *wrenches hand out of her grasp* You slept with another man Tabitha! How do you expect me to brush this off so easily. *opens door and leaves*
Tabitha: NOOOOOO! *collapses crying*
*in doctors office, Lilith is looking at data on a computer while Tabitha sits on exam bed rubbing bump*
Lilith: I'm sorry to say Tabitha, but Abel is not the father of your child.
Lilith: He's the father of mine.
Lilith: You got the wrong results. And looking at your current results, the DNA comparisons are too different for him to be the father.
Tabitha: But then... who is?
Lilith: *eyes close as she turns to the side in sorrow*
Abel: *walks in* ... What's going on? No seriously, everyone's been acting weird all day...
Lynx: Someone get him off the set.
Abel: *gets dragged off by security guards* Hey-! I-! What are you-? Let me go!
Lynx: And action!
Tabitha: But then... who is?
Lilith: *camera zooms in while she looks at Tabitha* Seth.
Abel: *from somewhere off set* What.
Okay I'm done now.
... Despite knowing that Abel likes tea I half expected him to spit it out b/c he mentioned about how even if it was disgusting he'd try to be polite about it, try but might fail, and so you know how the universe feels about people thinking like that.
NIHILUM! NIHILUM! AAAAAAAHHHHH! *flailing desperately in desire to tell Abel Nihilum's identity*
Abel: ... Calm down.
Tabitha: *stage whisper* Is she always like this?
Abel: Usually yes.
DH: Why don't you just tell him?
Abel: Tell me what?
Because if I tell him it will ruin the awesome reveal later on so I can't say anything and IT'S KILLING ME INSIDE.
Abel: ... Am I just in the two of yours way? *radio goes off*
Saved by the bell. Buzzer. ... thing.
Back to my normal review style b/c that script type is hard as I have discovered after the Soap Opera and IHAVESIXMINUTESTOTYPETHISOHGOD.
... Did the rebels have a symbol of some sort that was on the rover? How did they get it one the rover in the first place? Was it always there or did they carve it/paint it in? If so, how did they find the time to do that? WHO WAS THAT MAN SHOWING ABEL THE ROVER?
My questions will forever remain unanswered won't they.
I have a few extra moments to go back to script mode, even though it has been only minutes since I said I would stop. :D
*riding on Dee's back as he runs alongside motorbike* Well, it will take a while to get to the site, yes?
So then... TIME FOR SOME ROADTRIP MUSIC! :D
Abel&DH: OH GOD NO.
*one hour later as Abel lays dying after being shot*
Abel: I welcome death after that music.
...Was it really that bad?
I like how even as Abel's dying and is admitting that Cain gives him a reason to live he still calls him annoying. Even as he's dying he won't admit to himself that Cain might be 'dear' to him like Seth is. I find that a mixture of funny and sad.
DO THE ARMY CRAWL ABEL. ARMY CRAWL ALL THE WAY TO THAT COLONY.
(LET'S GET THIS STORY TO NINTH PLACE IN THE COMMENTS LIST SHALL WE? AND... POST REVIEW) (unless someone already posted a review while I wrote this one, which they probably did XD)
| wenduo chapter 56 . 8/1/2014
Hello again... yeah i know i need a life. But i wanted to read this one also. xD
Yes you was right the rewrite sonded more like another story almost. Put to the point yes it do go more deeper and give more feeling about the story. In some chapter i almost want to jump of joy and others more cry like a child. (Feel so sorry for the babies that died) Liked the change of it and it is going to be funny see how you will continue this story.
| Eurasian Lynx chapter 12 . 7/9/2014
I started a review and then realized I still don't feel well and I couldn't really think of what to say. Just letting you know I'm still here and existing, just tired and slightly grumpy.
That question does not deign a response.
Still here. Not drifting away again. Just moderately miserable and don't want to take out my whining on you.
DH: Bit late for that.
I'm stopping before this escalates.
(I'll be fine later I'm just a sleepy-grumpy person right now, like Tabitha in the beginning of this chapter. Though she was only sleepy... Not really grumpy, just shocked that her superior just turned up on her doorstep... WHATEVERYOUGETTHEIDEA)
| Eurasian Lynx chapter 11 . 6/28/2014
WHY DID I WAIT UNTIL THE DAY I LEAVE.
I'LL BE BACK ON THURSDAY BUT...
I can REALLY see Tabitha being a sort of adopted mother-like figure to Abel, he has Thomas as a dad but had no mother, so I can easily see her filling the role, or trying to anyway, despite her being younger than he is. Yeah, there was Lilith, but we all know how that turned out...
DH: Fear-sex in a storage closet?
Dee. I was trying to be ambiguous.
I just imagine the scene with Abel getting the data cube back from Tabitha being the cartoon-y style where you don't see any movement until a quick flash and the person holding the object has moved their hand and the person trying to get it has their hand where the object was before, fingers wriggling, then another flash and the object's been moved again and the person has their hand where it was before etc. and this goes on for a while. Do you know what I'm talking about? That's how I imagined this scene going.
I had a sort of ashgsdfmngbvhn3wijek whwhhek moment where I nearly jumped out of my chair, twice, during this chapter. It was just kind of like WAIT A MINUTE I REMEMBER THESE SCENES, AAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH :D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D
I REMEMBER SETH COMING TO LEARN LATIN AND CAIN TALKING TO ABEL ABOUT PEOPLE WANTING TO KILL HIM AND TELLING HIM TO BE MORE CAREFUL, SETH'S CUTER HERE THOUGH AND CAIN'S SEEMS TO BE A BIT CLOSER TO THE VERGE OF A PANIC ATTACK, IN AND OUT BUDDY IN AND OUT. AS I'VE SAID I'M NOT DOING CPR FOR YOU.
Wow I am abusing Caps Lock.
DIE CAPS LOCK. BURN IN FIRE AND BRIMSTONE. THROUGH THE FIRE AND THE FLAMES.
WE CARRY ON.
To be fair to Abel I'd probably have a heart attack if I'm doing work and the next thing I know someone is 6 inches from my face. He handled Seth's appearance well. I probably react in the horror game fashion.
AH! *slams door*
Or in the Amnesia fashion of curling up in the fetal position in a corner and praying for more oil.
When it says that Abel is trying to grasp Alexander's name I keep imagining him actually making grasping motions at the air, I DO NOT KNOW WHY BUT IT WON'T STOP.
Isaak is the evil Commander Data, that is all.
Cain, what are you doing. Cain, stahp. Don't be an Isaak.
I just imagined Isaak as Edward Cullen, HELP.
Abel: Edward?! Where?! *runs on screen* Edward we love you you're the best.
Lilith: No Jacob's the best! *hits him with a shovel*
As for the ending, once again, asbhksjnfvqeopnekwnp I REMEMBER THIS SCENE. :D:D:D:D
But no seriously Cain, go see Lilith, and get some medication. You need to calm down. I'm wondering right now how no one figured out that Abel switched the tests. CAIN'S MENTAL INSTABILITY IS KINDA OBVIOUS SOMETIMES. Abel nearly got blown up and CAIN'S the one freaking out. It is sort of obvious whose tests are whose if you think about it. Maybe the UN just wanted Cain to be their little perfect angel and didn't want to admit that Abel might have some merit instead of just being the flawed one, oh well.
Typos are funny.
"That'd been a hug waste of time!"
Well seeing as how adverse Abel was to Cain's hugging earlier I can see how this was a 'hug' waste of time. ;)
And then in that above statement I myself made a typo, in the statement where I'm joking about you typos.
WHAT ARE THE ODDS.
We have finally reached Mars! As you've already stated in the author's note! But in actual terms of story we've actually gotten to Mars, gone through a war, gotten back to Earth, and gotten a good ways through another war.
I have finally reached Mars! Yay!
NO WAIT I DIDN'T SIGN UP TO GO TO MA-AAAAHHH HELP! D:
You know what Arthur said about the UN playing dirty? That's dirty playing. Getting kicked to a barren wasteland for making an off-hand observation about a story. *grumbles*
Welp. Might as well explore the colony.
I've been playing Mars Colonies too much. IT'S NOT EVEN THAT FUN OF A GAME, OR THAT LONG FOR THAT MATTER.
Well. I'm actually managing to keep to reviewing this time. It's... kind of a nice feeling to be honest.
So this review/brain vomit is over, but don't worry,
I'll be back.
| Eurasian Lynx chapter 10 . 6/21/2014
Okay, I know, excuses, but SERIOUSLY THIS IS MY FAVORITE CHAPTER IT'S JUST SO FULL OF ABEL BEING ADORKABLE. HE'S TOO SOCIALLY AWKWARD TO BE CALLED ADORABLE SO...
Abel you can't just watch people over the top of your book, it's really not subtle at all. Even Arthur noticed. Let that sink in for a moment. ARTHUR. And here I thought you were trained to be stealthy mister soldier. Or at least vaguely subtle. Because weren't both Cain and Abel given sort of the same teachings until they were more positive who would get what position? That would make sense right? Because since at first Abel got the good scores for a leader but they liked Cain they didn't choose, then when Abel began switching the logic and reasoning tests Cain still had unstable mental ones so they didn't choose yet, you said something about 'chances' at some point later, yeah I'm getting ahead of myself but moving on, but then when Abel switched the mental tests they chose, soon after that I should think. So for a while wouldn't Abel have at least gotten maybe the BARE-BONED BASICS of politics? Like, subtlety? I mean come on Abel, some of the people of the UN DID actually know what they were doing, they just had awful personalitys, towards you guys anyway. Listen to your teachers. You obviously learned something from class with how much you know so why couldn't you dredge up these little lessons, really. I personally believe Arthur noticed Abel watching them and invited him over because either,
A - He noticed that Abel was all alone and decided to invite him over to try to make him feel more welcome, especially with the knowledge that he's an enhanced human and would probably feel very out of place around so many normals.
B - Noticed Abel watching them over his book and felt bad for the socially-awkward thing and gave threw him a bone, so to speak.
or C - Noticed Abel watching them over his book and invited him over in the hopes he'd stop acting like a stalker and would be a bit less creepy.
I personally lean towards C because it seems Arthur-y, but it's your story so...
Whatever you say. :)
Backtracking now to the start of the chapter,
How exactly is this humiliating? Just a few paragraphs later it says Cain can't find any humor in Abel's usual lack of care at his injuries so apparently stuff like this happens a lot, so shouldn't Abel be used to it by now? It's like saying that I'm embarrassed at continuing to forget to review even though I've done it maybe five times by now.
Okay, I'M SORRY, I see where he's coming from...
I just scrolled back up to check where I was and snorted when I imagined Abel falling, because it says 'fallen flat on his face' and I just imagine him falling forward and Cain just stands there and watches him, only movement being his eyes and has a completely straight expression as Abel flails and collapses. (preferably in slow-motion)
Why was Seth in a complete panic after seeing Abel in such a state? As I said earlier, SURELY THIS HAS HAPPENED BEFORE? I'M CONFUSED NOW.
Cain stop bullying your brother he's dying over here and I'M BARELY TRAINED IN CPR, I KNOW YOU DO IT TO THE BEAT OF 'STAYING ALIVE' BUT THAT'S ABOUT IT. Or as I found out the beat of 'Another One Bites the Dust' works as well, but since you're trying to keep them alive you probably shouldn't be singing that while you work. Just a thought.
ABEL. LILITH. THE FLUFF. THE CUTENESS. I CAN'T TAKE IT. HELP MEEEEEEEEEEE! D:D:D:D:
In a good way of course. :D
Wow where is Dee? It's been a while.
DH: *whispers aggressively* SSSHHHHHHH!
DH: *still whispering aggressively* I'm in the chapel!
What are YOU doing in a chapel? XD
DH: ... *STILL whispering* Praying.
Uh-huh. You're trying to get footage of Cain and Kayson together aren't you?
DH: ... My ship will sail. *points* Sh! *ducks behind back row pew* *raises camera to rest on back of pew*
*ducks down too*
Kayson: God works in mysterious ways. Perhaps He thought this a suitable task for you. Why don't you join me in a prayer?
DH: *tail swishing nervously*
*pins tail down* *whisper* You were the one who said to be quiet.
Is this all?
DH: SH! They're moving!
Kayson: Here. *holds out bible and crucifix to Cain* Take these, I've a feeling you'll need them more than I.
*Cain grabs them*
DH: *bouncing slightly* They did the hand-brushy thing! :D
Oh I hate the hand-brushy thing. :( It's so cheesy and overused.
Cain: Thank you, for everything, Kayson.
DH: *in danger of fainting*
I'm not reviving you.
Kayson: *stands* There's morning prayer at eight hundred hours or evening at nineteen hundred hours. If you're still interested, you're more than welcome to come.
DH: Say yes. SAY YES!
Cain: I think I will.
*tackles DH before squeal of joy can emerge*
*Cain reads for a while*
*stands up and pops back, stretching arms over-head* Whelp I have places to go and things to review.
Cain: *jumps and spins around* WHAT?!
*drops arms* Shit.
And chaos ensued. Pun intended.
I sort of already did part of this section earlier so moving on to the bit I didn't get to.
Arthur is sexist. Huh. (When I was typing that I originally said 'Arthur is sexiest.' on accident. FREUDIAN SLIP? ... No I just can't type, if you could see how many times I hit the backspace button when writing these things...)
He's drunk so that just proves it. That's nice.
(He's already drunk, I don't care what Solomon says about him 'getting drunk', HE'S ALREADY THERE.)
Arthur does have a point though.
RUN ABEL! RUN AND NEVER LOOK BACK! RESISTING THE URGE TO MAKE A FOREST GUMP JOKE.
"Lilith would make a wonderful mother."
Yay! I got a review done! For real this time! :D
I got a 'review', done. Can't forget those internet-style air-quotes.
But while I'm still on the subject of Arthur, somewhat, I think I found his and Abel's theme song.
BFF by Bowling For Soup.
"Playing poker Friday night, pyromancing off golf races. You think that my sister's hot. I accidentally shot your finger off your writing hand, oh well, you get disability! :D I broke my leg, you laughed so hard, and told the ambulance to stop at the bar.
You'll tell the whole world that I'm gay when you hear me say, that I really and truly feel this way. Not that there's anything wrong with being gay. And sometimes we punch each other in the face, like when I hit on your mom and got to second base,
I'm trying to say I love you in a heterosexual way."
As someone in the comments of a lyrics video of this said, No Homo: The Song.
I think it sums their relationship up, most of the time.
(Dee now apparently ships KaysonxCain, this will probably become a running gag.
DEAR GOD WHAT HAVE I DONE.)