|Reviews for The Son of the Trigod's Tales|
| KhaalidaNyx chapter 10 . 11/17/2013
Same thing with my other reviews. I'll have to finish this later though because I am watching a movie with my family. Remember to draw things out! Loved the drama here, though. Readers love drama and that applies to me as well. Actually, I like getting people attached to characters and then killing them off or throwing a 180. Kind of morbid, huh? But you should know who I'm talking about when I say that.
I can't wait to finish reading this! I'll take a quick looksies through the other chapters and then leave a review on the last one. The only advice I can give here is to make the quest longer. Give them more obstacles and hurtles to have to pass over before it reaches the climax of the story. Your plot is really great and I'm loving it!
| KhaalidaNyx chapter 9 . 11/17/2013
Details, my dear friend! You could have made this super long and I'm always available if you need help or suggestions. I really liked the dance scene in here though, it was super cute. Maybe make Chris explain why he wants to leave, though. To protect his family, to keep them safe, etc. For the title maybe put If I'm Dreaming Don't Wake Me Up without the ever in parenthesis or just Don't Wake Me Up.
| KhaalidaNyx chapter 8 . 11/17/2013
Once again try to draw it out as much as you can. The interaction with Artemis was important so describe it in detail. Imagine you are there. What do you see? What would you say? But I really love the "be careful when making and keeping promises" line so do you mind if I steal it and borrow it for my story but put in the AN that I got it from your story? I think it will be a good thing to put when a certain someone makes a deal with Lithelacinth.
| KhaalidaNyx chapter 7 . 11/17/2013
This chapter has a lot going on, so try to make it more dramatic. Draw out the fight, describe the feelings. You've got most of it down pretty good but what I'm seeing a pattern with here is your lack of detail. Everything else is down pat but when I read I'm just like, "Oh, well he could have added..." So if you need help just ask! Oh and BTW your titles are great. They're so much like the titles in the Percy Jackson books.
| KhaalidaNyx chapter 6 . 11/17/2013
The only thing I can recommend here is to drag it out as much as you possibly can. It makes for a good read when you add details that seem unnecessary in the beginning but show up again later and actually maintain some importance. Loved the prophecy, it was so creative!
| KhaalidaNyx chapter 5 . 11/17/2013
Reverse with this chapter. The beginning was great but it kind of faded out near the end. Details, details, details! Maybe write down where he figures out his powers? And don't make Elysia do a play-by-play unless it is a flashback. Great, though. I am getting the feel of the story line here and I really like it. Know what I do in Childhood Friend? Feel free to make little side stories that get woven into the main baseline of the plot. Don't reveal everything at the beginning, either. Maybe make Elysia hold off on the knowledge that she thinks she knows who Chris is and reveals it later. Concentrate on making the characters interact with each other more to build relationships. Feel free to draw out conversations and interactions. How comfortable is he? Is he tired? Little things like that that will actually make a big difference in the end. Your plot is fantastic, though!
| KhaalidaNyx chapter 4 . 11/17/2013
You are so great at ending. I really like how Elysia seems like the wise one here. Maybe Chris could tell Michael that he looked like a mini clone of Nico and it would be hard to mistaken them so that way it's not so vague? Add details! You know how I write, adding what positions they take whenever they talk and if their vision switches to someone else? Add things like that so that everything is clear. You're doing great!
| KhaalidaNyx chapter 3 . 11/17/2013
You end chapters really well. Did I mention that before? Just remember to separate paragraphs because the fourth one from the end sort of ran together. And again with making chapters longer when you revise them. I'd suggest putting in more details and tell battle moves.
| KhaalidaNyx chapter 2 . 11/17/2013
I absolutely loved the ending of this chapter. The only thing I would recommend would be to make Chris see the orientation film at the beginning of the chapter, unless you mention before (maybe somewhere in the first chapter) that he had prior knowledge of gods and goddesses so therefore he would obviously know who Thanatos is. And again with drawing out chapters. Include details like body language, how people say things, and feelings. Other than that everything was totally great!
| KhaalidaNyx chapter 1 . 11/17/2013
I really like the dramatic tension in this chapter. My only suggestions are two. One is when he runs into Nico. Maybe make the son of Hades have some special way of telling if he runs into a demigod or not? Your main character could have been a mortal that could see through the mist, so if Nico gave him that calling card Camp Half-Blood would have a problem. My second suggestion would be with the cops. I don't think they'd let a kid walk freely into a potential hostage situation, so maybe make him sneak in or make the cop send backup with him then have the Tri-god freeze them? Oh, and spell out your numbers. It makes things look professional. Okay, I guess this is really four suggestions, but this is the last one, I promise. Try to drag out scenes to give the readers more tension. I didn't use to do that but now I am with my writing. Details are important too so try to add as many as you can in without being dull.
It was really great. Punctuation and spelling is top notch and that's always good. I hate reading stories where people don't even capitalize things correctly. Great start and way to start out your story strong!
| Elmlea chapter 17 . 8/30/2013
I think Elysia was possesed like Jasmine, by the owner of the voice that talks to Chris.
I love this story! Awesome!
Update ASAP! I need more chapters...
| xFullmetalSoulx chapter 17 . 6/28/2013
Oh... wow. I'm not even sure what to think, but I know that since this is your story, I'm going to love it in the end. Always a pleasure to read! :)
| TailsDoll13 chapter 17 . 6/27/2013
Eh, I only think I'll be able to guess if I know the gender of the benefactor...
Deranged Shadow Fangirl
| Something Christmasy chapter 3 . 5/4/2013
cool battle scene bro i may need some tips becuase their are going to be some battle scences in the next chappie
| Something Christmasy chapter 2 . 5/4/2013
weird chapter name ut cool chappie bro