Reviews for Legacy of Kain: Soul Reaver
Galefeather chapter 26 . 1/13
I can understand the frustration of so few reviews, and I know I'm guilty of this too. Most people don't really have the knowledge to give a comprehensive review. Most the rest know some stuff, but often just enough to know how little they know, and become apprehensive of mistakes. I'm in this group. We also don't often do "This is great, keep going" sorts of reviews because we understand how irritating such vague comments can become.
I can say this though, I really like the style of this story. You use interesting archaic words and phrases, and manage to be verbose without becoming tiresome. It really stays true to the series, which I always thought would have made better books, at least Soul Reaver 2 and Defiance, which are most heavily story based.
(In the last paragraph of chapter 26 platform is spelled wrong)
Finally, please keep going, I'm really enjoying it and hope to someday read the beginning and end!
Galefeather chapter 26 . 1/13
Sorry for the lack of reviews, though I realize I'm guilty of this as well. I think the main reason you've gotten so few is because of the seriousness of this project. Most people don't really know enough about writing to give a comprehensive review. They may realize something is good or bad, but can't pin down specifics. Others like myself, know enough to know we don't know that much, and are therefor reluctant to give advice, for the chance of them getting something wrong. This group also doesn't do the "This is great, keep going" sort of review, because while we realize the support is encouraging, we also know the vagueness of such statements can become irritating.
What feedback I feel confident about giving you is I really like the style. You use interesting archaic words and phrases, and are are also verbose, while generally not being tiresome. It feels very true to the series. I also like Raziel's observations, and the care he puts into every action. It really makes him feel like the veteran he is supposed to be. I also think it really connects for players that tried to find some way to consolidate things like all those endless hallways.
Also, in the last paragraph of chapter 26, platform is spelled wrong. I also hope to see more of this revived Turelim.
Finally, keep going! I'm really enjoying this, especially because I've always thought LoK suffered from the necessity of game mechanics, and would do better as books.
Lusitana chapter 26 . 1/7
Good to see that this story is not dead.
Using that turelim to dispatch the rahabim was very clever, but it's strange that he recognised Raziel. I wonder who he was. Maybe all turelim somhow managed to retain some semblance of rationality unlike the other clans.
Ehecatl chapter 1 . 12/2/2015
I'm sorry.

You put a lot of work into this. But choosing to write this story from a first person perspective hasn't worked in your favor. When I read your words, I don't hear Raziel's voice come through it. You just use a lot of grammatically ineffective phrases and words. I'm of the firm belief that if you're going to write from the perspective of ANY Legacy of Kain character, you absolutely must have a firm grasp on the English language it its most eloquent form. You must be capable of sounding Shakespearean. And since you wrote this hoping to make your fic a novelization, the burden on you to be able to do this is much higher than with any other fanfiction writer.

Hell, I don't even trust myself to be capable of writing that well. But let's review what words and phrases offended my ability to suspend disbelief and ruined any chance of me continuing:

1) "Stuff"
2) "Hang together"
3) "He got into"
4) "stupidest"
5) "it would not be too bad"
6) "too focused on business"

Now here's the thing... These words and phrases aren't bad, in the right mouth. But in Raziel's? It sounds grating to the ear to imagine. These characters in LoK are simply much more proficient in speaking than that. 'Stupidist" wasn't even considered a proper word when LoK was being developed. "Hang together" is slang. "Stuff"? Oh writer... When have you ever known any character in this series to use a word so non-descriptive as 'stuff'? Now let's take some sentences:

"Could it be that these assassins I was dealing with no ranged among them?"

First off, "I was dealing with"? Slang. And very American sounding. It could be better written as "that attempted to confront me". Second, "now ranged among them"? Sloppy. "ranged" is a poor word choice. I'd replace that whole phrase with "were counted among them?"

This is just one sentence but you make similar mistakes at almost every line in every chapter. It doesn't get much better in later chapters either. It's... painful to read when you consider that this is Raziel's that's supposed to be narrating it. Don't get me wrong. Your grammar isn't that bad usually (though you do have mistakes that are annoying to see, missing punctuation, etc.). But as I mentioned, when you take on a LoK novelization and choose to write it from the first person perspective of one of its most eloquent characters (written by Amy Hennig and voice acting by Michael Bell, a long-time stage actor), you simply cannot use "Americanized" English. It's a big no no.

I'm sorry. I know you put a lot of effort into this. But I simply cannot recommend this story. It's just not Legacy of Kain or Soul Reaver. It lacks the key language to make it believable and thus I cannot at any point suspend my disbelief.

-Ehecatl
Ehecatl chapter 3 . 12/2/2015
I'm sorry.

You put a lot of work into this. But choosing to write this story from a first person perspective hasn't worked in your favor. When I read your words, I don't hear Raziel's voice come through it. You just use a lot of grammatically ineffective phrases and words. I'm of the firm belief that if you're going to write from the perspective of ANY Legacy of Kain character, you absolutely must have a firm grasp on the English language it its most eloquent form. You must be capable of sounding Shakespearean. And since you wrote this hoping to make your fic a novelization, the burden on you to be able to do this is much higher than with any other fanfiction writer.

Hell, I don't even trust myself to be capable of writing that well. But let's review what words and phrases offended my ability to suspend disbelief and ruined any chance of me continuing:

1) "Stuff"
2) "Hang together"
3) "He got into"
4) "stupidest"
5) "it would not be too bad"
6) "too focused on business"

Now here's the thing... These words and phrases aren't bad, in the right mouth. But in Raziel's? It sounds grating to the ear to imagine. These characters in LoK are simply much more proficient in speaking than that. 'Stupidist" wasn't even considered a proper word when LoK was being developed. "Hang together" is slang. "Stuff"? Oh writer... When have you ever known any character in this series to use a word so non-descriptive as 'stuff'? Now let's take some sentences:

"Could it be that these assassins I was dealing with no ranged among them?"

First off, "I was dealing with"? Slang. And very American sounding. It could be better written as "that attempted to confront me". Second, "now ranged among them"? Sloppy. "ranged" is a poor word choice. I'd replace that whole phrase with "were counted among them?"

This is just one sentence but you make similar mistakes at almost every line in every chapter. It doesn't get much better in later chapters either. It's... painful to read when you consider that this is Raziel's that's supposed to be narrating it. Don't get me wrong. Your grammar isn't that bad usually (though you do have mistakes that are annoying to see, missing punctuation, etc.). But as I mentioned, when you take on a LoK novelization and choose to write it from the first person perspective of one of its most eloquent characters (written by Amy Hennig and voice acting by Michael Bell, a long-time stage actor), you simply cannot use "Americanized" English. It's a big no no.

I'm sorry. I know you put a lot of effort into this. But I simply cannot recommend this story. It's just not Legacy of Kain or Soul Reaver. It lacks the key language to make it believable and thus I cannot at any point suspend my disbelief.

Most respectfully,

-Ehecatl
Johny512 chapter 25 . 7/8/2015
Man, 25 chapters and 180 000 words already, and it's not even close to being over! Not to mention that you haven't even uploaded the early part of the story yet! Gee, never thought the first Reaver could be retold in such rich detail. Still, enjoying this work greatly so far and really looking forward to how you're going to develop the next part of the lore and the beginning. You're the real deal, thank you very for this excellent writing!
Archer0 chapter 25 . 6/18/2015
Rahab obviously doesnt like visitors, his guard is also very dedicated in the pursuit of intruders. This was one of those chapters that felt like the scenes from a thriller. This was one of those locations in the game I disliked and loved I loved the massive area and the exploration that could be done in the spectral realm in the water but at the same time the enemies just seemed to get you at the worst possible times.

I wonder when we'll hear grom raziels waterbound brother :D

Hoping to read more in the future been doing a lot of painting and housework recently so I didnt have as much time as id like to read but thats life.
Lusitana chapter 25 . 5/22/2015
Yup! Raziel is screwed. Traversing that Abbey will be like swimming in a tank full of piranhas. Maybe he will have no choice but to go to the spectral realm to escape all those Rahabim.
Archer0 chapter 23 . 5/3/2015
It has been a long time since Ive been on this, but it's nice to see a couple chapters from my favs waiting for me. I was wondering when you were gonna have this outburst from raziel. He does like to vent when he has time. Then again he only really meets antagonistic people most of the time lol. Guess he just cant switch gears, but I suppose its because he takes a while to warm up to people reardless and even afterwards reserves some suspicion of their motives.

Anyways nice to see things are still moving along. :)
Lusitana chapter 24 . 3/24/2015
Finally Raziel has reached the Drowned Abbey. Now he's going to have the Rahabim on his tale to make matters worse.
Can't wait to see how it goes when Raziel meets with Rahab.
Lusitana chapter 23 . 1/27/2015
Well, that conversation with Ariel was harsh, though I guess that was predictable since Ariel's intentions aren't completly altruistic. She still has the "veil of prejudices" upon her sight.

Now let's see if Raziel will finally find his way to the Drowned Abbey. Keep up the good work Gorelord.
princessanastasia6467 chapter 1 . 1/26/2015
nice
Deaths Gate chapter 22 . 12/3/2014
fantastic fanfiction.
i look forward to reading the rest, if and when you finish it. along with insurrection and soul reaver 4. man i wish he would hurry and update his stuff !
both of you, along with a couple others, have put out some well written stories.
i must admit, a less versed person would have trouble with some of your very intelligent, and well educated use of descriptive terminology.
great story, keep with it.
REZ chapter 22 . 8/21/2014
I've been following your novelisation for quite a while already but I never posted a review to it mostly because I'm not really good at writing reviews. I just kept reading chapter after chapter and enjoying your story without really having much to say. I don't really like writing banal things like "oh what a cool thing you made up here" or "wow how detailed was the description of this" X) However I've noticed lately that the last few chapters have been getting surprisingly little reviews which is strange to me because they allwere brilliantly done. I mean I liked your novelisation from the very beginning but it was notable in the first several chapters that your style and language was still development. But ever since you posted the piece about Raziel gaining the TK artefact your skills seemed to have so seriously improved I simply couldn't stand such tremendous work getting so little feedback. That's why I finally made myself write you a review. Not sure if I succeeded but I really wish your novelisation was not just a fanfic but an official novel because it's quality is so high it deserves to be real. Thank you very much for this and, please donot
Lusitana chapter 22 . 7/30/2014
That Hinrad was insane as hell! I hope he died; he deserves it after killing Enrith in such a petty way.
It's nice to see the emotional maturity Raziel is experiencing, not only by realizing that monsters exist in all races but also by understanding that he must control his rage before it controls him.
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