|Reviews for The Belly Tales: Adventures of Liv and Fitz|
| PiscesChikk chapter 12 . 10/10/2012
Mellie needs to get laid. and Fitz is lucky he's a rich man. 5 children and 2 baby momma's? he's a hot mess. lol
| PiscesChikk chapter 11 . 10/10/2012
I am dying...how is she gonna have three babies with her tiny self, lmao! dying i say.
| PiscesChikk chapter 10 . 10/10/2012
LMAO! priceless. her reaction is just priceless.
| Guest chapter 15 . 10/8/2012
Love this story! Looking forward to the next update in present time line. Loving all Olivia and Fitz conversations.
| bella11356 chapter 15 . 10/7/2012
I like your story, I do. I have read all of it so far up to your last update. So please do not take the rest of what I am about to say as...mean. Take it as constructive.
I'm writing this as mother (That makes me sound old, i'm 25 lol). My daughter is 8 months old. The chances of naturally conceived triplets is 1 in 8,000. The chances that they are the same sex is even higher. The chances that they wont be born at around 28 weeks and struggle to live...through the roof. The chances they all survive? Astronomical.
I'm only bringing this up because this aspect of the story, to me, is just completely unbelievable.
And that bothers me so much, because Fitz and Olivia are completely believable. They are so real and I feel like a story with this much potential should portray them as they are.
My advice on this story line? Kill off two of the babies. Sad I know, but its extremely realistic that something like that would happen before 13 weeks. Also no way in hell, no matter how many babies shes pregnant with is she feeling any sort of movement...ever.
I love Hampton. He is a great addition to the story and provides that comic relief that is needed.
(This is getting long, sorry! lol)
Two other major things I'm thinking...slow down with the story line. And tackle the smut sooner rather than later. And with the smut... don't drag it out, and don't make it to fast. Men do not want sex all night long and on and on, and neither do women. A little foreplay a little sex, maybe change positions once, wham bam thank you ma'am.
I've written a lot of fan fiction, and a lot of smut, if you need or want any advice on anything, shoot me a pm. I haven't published my scandal fic yet, but I will very very soon in case you want to read it first.
Keep at it and I'm looking forward to the next chapter.
| babycakesbriauna chapter 15 . 10/7/2012
Look at Mel having dirty dreams and getting caught by Fitz. Too funny
| Gerriv chapter 15 . 10/7/2012
This is am awesome story! Love it!
| Maverick37 chapter 15 . 10/7/2012
For a moment, I really thought Sam and Mellie hit the sheets so to speak. Should've been tipped off that they didn't when Sam was trashing Liv. Never would happen. That was hot!
| sparklestar200 chapter 15 . 10/7/2012
Just caught up with all 15 chapters and I love hampton's character is hilarious! The humour twist is so catchy and Fitz and Liv make my heart melt. Bring on the next chapter :D
| chocolate1 chapter 15 . 10/6/2012
You had be going with Mellie's sexcapade but I huge smile came on my face when it was only a dream...hahaha. Now here comes Mellie again in attack dog mood and I know Liv will come with the perfect plan to counter it.
| CarolineSparrow chapter 15 . 10/6/2012
Mellie's got it bad for Sam LOL
You're saying you can't write smut, but I respectfully disagree. I wish you wrote some Olitz action.
| mschessplayer chapter 15 . 10/6/2012
WTF InspiredToRead ? This chapter only inspires me to yell at you. How you gonna leave Mellie hot & bothered out in fantasyland like that? that ain't right... SMH... mumbling...
I'm forming a protest march outside your office as we speak...who's with me?
| lovemboth chapter 15 . 10/6/2012
I was so hoping that Mellie had finally gotten some and could unwind a little bit. Fitz was too funny with the innuendo. Let's hope he can truly fix the situation with Mellie.
| jazphace chapter 15 . 10/6/2012
| Neoyorquina chapter 15 . 10/6/2012
Girl, you really got me going. Thought Mellie was really getting it. And that reaction/interruption by Fitz was priceless. "Did you not...finish?" LOL!
Another great update! I love this story!