Reviews for The Serpentine Subterfuge
Socially Awkward Bunny chapter 12 . 2/19/2013
This is great. I think I squealed when I saw you updated. Because this is just- so- amazing. I love how you write, and I love how you detail things! It's nice how you let the POV changes unmarked- it felt more, um, natural that way. Also, I think Rosier's such an interesting love interest. :D Although I hope (soverymuch) for Harry to end up with Draco in the end, I wouldn't mind her dating other people along the way. I don't know if she'd do so, though, because they all think she's a boy and she wouldn't announce Archie's and her secret just to have a relationship, right? Keep up the good work! :))
Saki chapter 12 . 2/19/2013
I rather like the idea of Aldon and Rigel. Tho Draco is seeming rather cluelessly possessive and there's always Leo to think about not to mention that Aldon comes off as homosexual in his choice of partners so it prolly wouldn't work out between them anyways. He'd make a fun friend rather like Fred and George. I do so adore your rendition of the twins by the way. Delightfully whimsical. What sort of creature is the black widow? What does that make Blaise? How long before the restrictions really push Rigel over the edge or get her caught? The pov change didn't in fact come across as awkward and unclear so I think you're safe there. I rather like Blaise's slip of the tongue or maybe it should be unintended double entendre? It allows a crack in the perfect exterior that we haven't seen thus far. Till now Blaise has appeared to be even more infallible than Rigel herself due to the fact that we don't see less obvious flaws only visible from the inside of his pov. Is the Blaise Abbott intrigue going to surface more often now that its been brought up cuz it would be cute to have one realistic crush type relationship happen between preteens amongst all the plotting and arranged marriges and cross dressing. .
Lordban chapter 12 . 2/19/2013
The changes in point of view are quite clear - which is the whole point. Frankly, needing to add "X's POV" at the head of a section is very, very high on the list of Do Not's for the writer. If the reader needs to have that indication, either the writer is bad or they are not paying attention ;)

Down the slippery slope... Rigel, you should have taken at least a couple of breaks. You never know when they may represent themselves in a favourable context.
Haze Be It chapter 12 . 2/19/2013
Holy shit that was a good chapter. So long to, thank you so much. Is there any chance you might update in the next 10 minutes? Because I really really want to read the next chapter now!

As for the Rigel and Rosier and parts, I absolutely loved them. they were brilliant! It reminds my of Deception & Concealment by KissThis, which is a good thing because thats a great story to.

Oh man, hope you update soon!
Silent Orange Summers chapter 12 . 2/19/2013
Oh of all the ships that could sail in this story. I seriously love all of this. The humor and drama and friendship, everything. Oh Rosier... What are you planning to do?... What are you planning. The things these twelve year olds talk of. Awkward. XD And if Rosier makes a move... Double awkward. I love awkwardness. I find it hilarious. I still remember when Rigel told off the twins about handling balls... XD

The part where the Weasley Twins speak extra loud and sarcastically, I literally laughed out loud. Please do continue with what you're doing.
Guest chapter 12 . 2/19/2013
Let's just say when I saw the alert from this story in my email I squealed. Loudly. And continuously. My sister who was watching a movie did not appreciate it.
"they're just speaking gibberish"
Percy OHMYGOSH "me-ow" that was just adfghl awesome incredible just those two sentences perfect
"as though Blaise were simply incapable of leaving a question unaddressed." I love your Blaise, and his crush on Hannah
I really liked Snape pondering about Rigel
Hehe Snape is a more competent Head of House that McGonagall
" His father must have accidentally sent him the letter intended for his…other son." lol I love Draco's pov
I never seem to get tired of losing at solitaire either ._.
I really like Rosier. He reminds me of a Fred and George, with ulterior motives. How he's not even subtle. So is he gay, or confused or what? And would happen if he finds out Rigel's a girl?
I like how you show all the Slytherin's quirks and bad habits and such
hentai18ancilla chapter 12 . 2/19/2013
Loved Rosier's subtle attempts at seduction, and yes at twelve you being to date people platonically. I did at least! I wonder if Draco was jealous? As for Theo, why does he enjoy discomfiting Rigel, is there more to that?
griffindork93 chapter 12 . 2/19/2013
Regarding Rigel and Rosier, is he interested in her? As in, does he suspect that Rigel truly is a female and is softening her up for later when he reveals that he knows her secret and to let her know his intentions? Or does he not care that Rigel is male and justs wants to subtly make it known that he has an interest in her?

Great chapter. I was just rereading this when you updated and was so excited that the whole story would be fresh when I reached the newest chapter.

Is someone ever going to figure out her secret from her inconsistencies or will Harry tell them first?
Copper Rain chapter 12 . 2/19/2013
Ooh! I really liked this chapter :D
Can't wait 'til the next, and thanks for updating!
Vaughn Tyler chapter 12 . 2/19/2013
Not-A-Spy chapter 12 . 2/19/2013
Just letting you know that your stories are excellent. I encourage you to keep writing. Rigel DOES seem like she will eventually... Melt down, or explode, or something. I would worry about her in RL. That much work is impressive, but honestly it's also unhealthy...

I do miss detailed description of the ingredients and processes used in potion-making.

One of my favorite fan-potions was the 'exploding potion.' Forget where I read it, but it is basically a delayed potions accident so there are about 5000 different ways to make one, with varying effectiveness and toxicity of the resulting vapor. You usually went for the cheap ingredients, lots of stabilizers, a small amount of a second 'detonator' potion which destroys the stabilizers when mixed, and poured tons and tons of magic into them.

Be mindful not to drop the vials until you WANT them to blow up. Also watch for incoming spellfire which could set your bombs off early. Honestly an exploding hex would be much less hassle, not to mention safer (though less impressive than a hearty boulder-smashing KA-BOOOOM).

This potion is probably not practical with the characteristics of potions and brewing set out in this fic. Too unstable, too much energy input and thus too few brewers who can make it, and therefore too expensive. I still found it amusing/interesting though. One possible use is mining or mines (traps) (heh, punny), since wizards might not disdain to using muggle-things like TNT, the famous C4, or PETN bombs.

I have rambled long enough. I will affirm again that this is an excellent story and then take my leave.
TamariChan chapter 12 . 2/19/2013
Eeeeeee a new chapter. This is perfect timing and I love this chapter and it's going to be SO hard to wait for the next one!
Vangran chapter 12 . 2/19/2013
Whatever happens next will surely be entertaining. And I wonder when Draco will finally realize his best friend is a girl. Should be worth a laugh or two. . . or a barrel. Either way, it will still be a good read. And your story remains as a wholly original one. I still have not come across another story like this. Bravo, Violet, bravo. And honestly, Rosier's actions creeped me out. I hope that Draco is able to catch on to him. And, as a sidenote, Dumbeldore is an idiot. Not that we didn't already know that, but I just thought I would get that out there. I look forward to your next installment. Until then!
mercuryandglass chapter 12 . 2/19/2013
It does flow better without the useless inserts like POV change, since the readers can usually figure it out soon enough.
Eventide Emerald chapter 12 . 2/19/2013
Amazing chapter! please continue with your great work!
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