|Reviews for The Serpentine Subterfuge|
| Gilly chapter 11 . 1/29/2013
My two cents for the shipping! a useless review otherwise though.
You do stick close to HP canon, so I'd like more variation. Like the characters in TSS not being proxies of the ones from the Alanna series, like Leo George or Draco Jonathan. Don't want Rigel to end up with Leo, like Alanna ended up with George. Too predictable. Rigel ending up with Draco (who is not like Jonathan. Didn't like him much in Alanna, he wasn't a very good boyfriend) or Theo or Blaise Or Rosier could be fun. Or Rookwood or Flint or someone else you don't expect.
Just thought I ought to tell you that some people, like Theo and Millicent, don't feel very detailed as characters. It would be nice of you to add more of them. The world you've created is amazing and school taking away too much time from your writing would kill me. And congratulations for making it to 500! I'm mostly finally reviewing to help up the number, but usually I'm a lurker.
| Guest chapter 11 . 1/29/2013
Arghhh. Update. Update. update. I need moreee! Pleaseeee...? I love this story so amazing!
| J.F.C chapter 11 . 1/28/2013
Finally took the time to catch up. I love it, hope you update soon.
| Guest chapter 11 . 1/28/2013
So... Draco is the prince... Right?
Prince? I think he was a prince... I haven't read the Lioness in a very long time, mighty long, in fact. Though I love it immensely.
But onto bigger and better things, like how this story has quite literally changed my life not in a 'it saved me from suicide/ got me through a dark time' kind of way, but rather a more mundane 'I-barely-have-time-for-manga-nowadays-because-I-have-an-everlasting-love-of-fanfiction'
Additionally, this will forever be my favorite fanfiction... Ever... It's the only one I can be bothered to check up on, and the only one I find truly captivating, Rigel/ Harry could be my favourite character in existence and I am yet to read another crossover for fear they won't match up.
I might be a little over dramatic, but as I'm currently being carried away with hysteria it is how I truly feel. I love this story, I love everything about it, and I kinda feel bad for never reviewing buuuut I can never access my account so this'll do. I'm rambling. Anyway. It's awesome, the best, by far. I wish it would never end even whilst I know I had to *sigh*
And that was a rather long review detailing nothing of much importance but I felt like I should write down anyway.
| Guest chapter 11 . 1/28/2013
I Ship Rigel and Leo or Blaise. They're so cute! Would love to see wayyy more Leo. Haha love this story! Show do you get these ideas? It's insane . Ok now I'm gushing. Sorry. Anyway, update soonnnn. Like today. Or tomorrow. Or today. Preferable today.
| tim chapter 11 . 1/27/2013
since I've been following this but not really reviewing, I thought I'd apologize for not being part of the 500 reviews. Here is me helping you towards 1000 reviews!
Rigel is amazing, amazing character, stoic, loyal, intelligent, calm and did I mention amazing? don't think I've ever read a story with a heroine like this. As many others I desire for her disguise not to be undone. I'd miss Rigel as strange as that sounds since she'll still be Harry, and I'd also miss the whole secrecy machinery.
There's been a lack of Flint in recent chapters, though Edmund and Aldon are around, which is great. I want to know what's going on with Flint and his family. And whether he's gay for Oliver, as some reviewers apparntely thought?
Ginny is more interesting that in canon, but I'm not sure I like her.
Some person pointed out the she left her bloody underwear for the house elves to find and now I'm also wondering if that will end up developing into a situation.
Draco and Pansy and Blaise-the-sneak's conjecture about Rigel last chapter was something I'd want to read again. Theories about a secretive/disguised person tend to be very interesting and/or amusing to read about.
Good luck wiht writing even thought school's begun! sorry for the essay-length text.
PS. getting on the shipping wagon reluctantly: Rookwood, Flint or Draco FTW. I want to read about how a fake-gay relationship would work, I guess.
| Lesl42 chapter 11 . 1/27/2013
Pureblood Prejudice had been on my "Looks good, read it" list for I don't know how long now, cause I'm not too fond of gender-bender stories. But I absolutely love this.
How James is so protective of his little girl, how Rigel Draco and Pansy are so close, Rigel's sarcastic Pureblood formality, how she forgot girls have periods lmao, it's funny how Rockwood and Rosier prepositioned to her, I love them.
And yes, for canon Harry it's just "Incendio, ooh look I made magic, cool" you explain magic so well, and then how you explain Potions! With all the properties, and the effects with everything else, it's so fascinating
I...I think it'd be rather sad for Draco and Pansy if Rigel Black disappeared, if something does go wrong, will her circle of friends know about it, they've already been speculating
So does Pansy have Light magic and comes from a Dark family, or what? Because she's a proper Pureblood and all that jazz
Was her forgetting an essay then not working with Snape so she could be there to find the Hufflepuff?
I wonder, if the twins figure out Rigel's a girl, could she get together with one of them or something, when they're older, so the two year difference doesn't seem too big
Imma stop now, this is getting long,
| TimeLoopedPowerGamer chapter 11 . 1/27/2013
Really like the story, hope to see much more. I don't usually like such extreme and heavily restructured AU stories, but you are writing this one out quite logically. Well done.
If you said already, I missed it: are you planning on doing all seven years? The tension might kill some of your more high-strung readers, but I would consider that a small price to pay. Can't make a massive, multi-book fic without breaking some fans, I always say.
In closing, thank you for the good read.
| Blank chapter 11 . 1/26/2013
How are you interested in all the stories I am? It's too awesome.
This is practically an essay. Oops.
I loved the dueling, especially because you kept it between her and Draco, as it was in the books. Lockhart's inability to grasp sarcasm would be sad if it wasn't so funny. His dueling tips are even better (worse?). I wonder if anyone noticed Rigel's unconventional style of dueling, or if they just wrote it off as her not trying? Which was hilarious. "Why, what does that one do?" might have been my favorite line.
I think it's really interesting how you made it so that Rigel had to speak to the snake in front of the school, despite knowing of her ability and that she shouldn't. Although, it really would have helped if Draco had listened to her.
It's funny how at least some of the Slytherins are supportive in their own way, especially because it makes the rest of Hogwarts seemed incredibly bigoted. Especially since coming into a power like that has a much better connotation in this story than it did in the original book. Considering Rigel personally saved everyone from the sleeping sickness last year, and has literally been in their minds and done them no harm, their sudden desire to believe that she is not a "good Slytherin" (or rather, THE good Slytherin, nice going), and wants to kill them all is kind of ridiculous. Then again, children and fear isn't really the recipe for logic.
I wonder why Rigel forgot that assignment? It could just be the stress of the situation, but considering you had a whole section on her lack of mental defense it would be interesting if something else had influenced her.
Speaking of which, I love the interaction with Snape (I bet you're tired of hearing that from me). I like that he kept his harshness in his own way, but I'm really curious as to what he thinks of Rigel. Snape is hardly unobservant, so at least some of the things Rigel's friends are noticing must have crossed his mind. Except in a different context, because he knows the Marauders, and that can't help but color his impressions of her.
On that note, I loved the fangirling moment Rigel had, although that isn't the right word because it was far more dignified. The discussion of potions is always really interesting, and I love that you have it in this story.
Rigel throws some of her magic outward when she's meditating. Where does it go? I think that would be a really interesting idea for her to pursue.
Again, I'm really interested in how Ginny is being possessed (presumably) without a horcrux. It seems like some sort of insidious mental thing, that's somehow related to her meditation, but it's difficult to pinpoint the exact cause. There seems to be a visible shift in personality, so I'd think it's some form of an actual person taking over- considering the story, probably Riddle.
I'm starting to think someone's manipulating events so that Rigel is one of the first on the scene. Even with following the snake's voice and her own tendency to ramble off where others don't at odd times, the coincidences just keep piling up, and it's becoming statistically improbable. Surely that's what the rest of the school is thinking too, and maybe that's the point? To isolate Rigel? But why? Because she helped with the sleeping sickness last year? That would actually be a really cool situation, because it would make the stories seem more continuous, rather than episodic like the original books tended to be. It would also explain the counterintuitive repeated occurrence of major events, considering the SOW party would probably want to lie low for a while. Well, I suppose I'll find out.
I feel kind of bad for Rigel's other friends, although Rosier did a good job pulling her out of an awkward situation. Draco's doing a pretty good job of putting them at ease again, though. She's also helping by immediately telling them all what she can about what happened in the hall, which was nice. I wonder why making that shield took so much of her energy, when presumably Dumbledore's shield kept anything from pressing against it. Where did the energy go? Simply into being expelled in shield form in the first place?
A death next month? Or just another petrification? I wonder what he(/she) is trying to accomplish with all these petrifications- Dumbledore's fall from power? Fear? Or is this going to be the end of that arc, where Rigel runs off to rescue Ginny? I wonder how that would happen, actually. Rigel seems like the type to inform Snape about the Chamber of Secrets before going in. And without Ron's broken wand, why would Lockhart leave? Maybe he is actually the one behind some of these things?
Well, interesting is my favorite word to use with this story, because it certainly does describe it.
Thanks for updating!
| Blank chapter 10 . 1/26/2013
I just realized I never sent in this review after I fell asleep typing it two weeks ago! Sorry this is so late.
I find the conversation between Rookwood and Rigel hilarious, because the romantic side to situations is one she quite thoroughly ignores whenever possible, even subconsciously. Rookwood's initial misinterpretation of her use of the word "wand" was well done as well.
The interaction with Lestrange was awesome, because he was so perfectly hatable, and the way she responded was so calculatedly impressive. I like that she defended her family even though it would inflame the situation, because it demonstrated the depth of her loyalty and love. I also like that her magic produced such an exacting response to her desire to rid herself of Lestrange. I wonder if the realization that her magic didn't run away with her vague command, which it certainly could have, will change her opinion on the control she has over it, and the potential for unintentional harm.
Her use of wandless magic in front of so many people was an interesting development, and I'm pleased they aren't saying anything about it to anyone, even Draco. It was a perfect point to make to Lestrange too, that she's dangerous and there's little he can do about it publicly.
I'm still not sure what to think about Regulus, but I'm looking forward to her proving how competent she can be, even if she isn't really the Black heir.
The interpretation of Bellatrix is excellent, because she somehow seems just as crazy and hatable, despite the more . . . relaxed setting of this story.
I loved Draco's point of view, and that she shared the secret of opening the common room with him. I think it's sweet that she shares things with her friends when she remembers to.
I'm interested to see how Rigel's friends' observations change how they look at her, despite her assurances that she is happy. I wonder what they think of her very un-slytherin desire to not make any connections, too.
I see she is beginning to have to deal with the biological differences of being female. I'm curious to see how the trials of hiding them change with magic in the equation.
I love her interaction with Snape, as always. I can't wait to see what they get up to.
Like, I literally cannot wait, so even though this review doesn't really get all the ideas I remember having across, I'm going to read the next chapter now. Suffice to say I thought it was a very well-written chapter.
Thanks for updating!
| Corinne chapter 11 . 1/25/2013
Hi! I just wanted you to know how much I loves this story - you tell it so, so well. your characters are unique and interesting, and they all have distinct voices and personalities which, if not /strictly/ cannon, then at least plausible and realistic. Your grammar and spelling superb, and you avoid the usual cliches associated with fan-fiction flawlessly - I really believe you could publish an original novel of your own (which is one of the main things that separates truly impressive writing such as your own from that of the average fan-fiction author).
Honestly, I could go on for ages about the many things I love about your work, from the creative plot to your portrayal of Hermione (we see so little of her, and yet I feel as though I know her very well). Unfortunately, going on for ages isn't really very practical, but I just wanted you to understand how much I enjoy this story, and how much I look forward to an update. From your authors notes, I can tell that you are fairly young, but you have a lot of talent! (I really mean it).
| Ferocious Poodles chapter 7 . 1/23/2013
The note your mom left was so sweet. It reminds me of when my mom would put a note in my lunch box in elementary school. But really it is sweet. I look forward to the dialogue, to the twists at the end of cos, to the crazy summer, and to who will be the defense teacher in year three. Will it be Remus, someone from the SOW party or someone else. If you ever publish, I would definitely wait in line to read it. Really look forward to the story, and keep writing!
| Mom chapter 11 . 1/22/2013
Dear "Violet", I enjoyed this chapter immensely, as I have enjoyed all of them so far. I am so proud to have such a talented child. I can't wait to see your name, or whatever pen name you will be using, on the New York Times best seller list. Now, don't neglect your studies, but if I can run any errands or do your laundry so you have more time to finish this story, I'm sure your other fans will thank me. Love you. -Mom.
| Lordban chapter 11 . 1/21/2013
Must have been said a hundred times already, but are you sure you didn't mean "Serpensortia"? Or is it a case of Lockhart's incompetence actually leading to the wrong results?
You've had very strict teachers ;) I have, earlier in life, been that brillant student who topped every exam, but I didn't need to work for it - and by the time I reached the equivalent of A-levels, I didn't even bother doing essays assigned at home any longer for a whole year. I didn't ever get in trouble... and not thanks to my non-existent social skills.
| Nyctalops chapter 11 . 1/21/2013
You have more than 500 reviews because you deserve many times that many, but people are terrible about reviewing. That is not gushing on my part. Look - in this chapter alone we have examples of how you've taken *two* separate fields of canon - Potions-making and Legilimancy - and turned them from blithely dismissive 'a wizard did it' nonsense into legitimate studies with rational internal rules and complexities!
Oh, dear - I'd been wondering if Rigel would eventually face the same suspicion and distrust, poor kid.
Your (possessed? fighting possession? actually evil? red haired red herring? ) Ginny Weasley seriously creeps me the heck out.
Also, with the 'mauled by a hippogriff' exchange? I see what you did there! :D