|Reviews for The Serpentine Subterfuge|
| Intrepid Bibliophile chapter 3 . 10/12/2016
Just a bit of a Britpick: you used cue instead of queue in the sorting song. Although I don't think cue is widely accepted as an alternative spelling in other English speaking countries, I can say for certain that it is not correct British English.
| thePURPLEpillowt chapter 1 . 10/3/2016
Hey everyone! Can't wait for the official end to the hiatus. I personally think that Riddle has to be a half blood. The point that this story becomes AU in my mind comes from when Riddle was in the chamber of secrets. He regretted myrtle's death and didn't make a horcrux. Instead he went into politics and the SOW party was reimagined. Everything before that is the same right? I wasn't sure about the war with Grindewald and how it happened, but considering the mention of Ariana Dumbledore and the origin story for the SOW party, I think that still happened exactly like in Canon. Otherwise, how would Dumbledore be in power.
I've actually been considering the marriage law and riddle a lot. I think it's gone a be implemented in fifth year after whatever goes wrong with the tournament happens. I feel like Harry as Rigel is gonna asdk to marry Riddle as a threat since otherwise, Riddle wouldn't get involved/affected since no one knows he's a half blood. Leo might ask Harry to protect her, but I'm not sure.
I'm really interested in Valentine's Day and the relationships aspect that will come up this year. I think harry's lack of interest is going to be pretty comedic in certain situations. Also, I may be mistaken but is she going to finally switch her gender this year? It was alluded to over winter break rather obviously.
| Punny26 chapter 9 . 9/23/2016
I just noticed this.. "crates for krait" is that a bad pun I see or an unintentional pun?
| maipigen chapter 2 . 9/5/2016
i didn't want to review util the end, but just wanted to say that i adored this chappie and now i kinda hope draco as jon and leo as george will mean the pairings will follow the alanna plot as i loved that alanna chose the rogue majesty hehe.
| RB chapter 14 . 8/31/2016
The last part always makes my heart fill up with something like fondness and sadness meshed together to the point where I'm not sure which one is dominating the other. Not the Voldemort part, obviously, but the little goodbye between Rigel and Alesana. It just makes me so sad and yet there is a strange happiness to it. Rigel will always put her wand in a specific pocket because of Selwyn, and I wish so dearly that she is invited to her wedding (Alice's) that I hope you get to show sometime during the series. I just wanted to comment on this at the moment because I just finished re-reading book 2, and will be reading one chapter a day of book 3 starting tomorrow, September 1st. Because what better way to prepare for Hogwarts than reading the best possible version of Hogwarts among all of them, including the original?
| mostt chapter 3 . 8/3/2016
aughgfg so sorry that last review was absolute nonsense! I didn't mean to post anything (I'm on mobile and I accidentally hit something or other) but I thought I might've well tell you now about how much I enjoy all if your stories. Each and everyone of these has a compelling plot line and even with it being an au, I still genuinely like all the characters. I hope you keep writing!
| mostt chapter 3 . 8/3/2016
| JuceBi chapter 12 . 7/30/2016
Great Idea with the pov changes. It's much more fluid to read this way. And it really isn't that much of a bother to shortly think about it whole reading a new paragraph. To be honest, I didn't really notice until you mentioned it at the end.
| IncandescentOnEarth chapter 3 . 7/27/2016
So this is the third time I've read this series and I love it so much! There's one thing that's been bothering me, and it's just in this chapter. While Rigel is in the carriage with the upperclassmen, Rosier (or Rookwood I'm not sure) says this: "You just happened to see the death of a complete stranger? Do you volunteer at St. Mungo's with your surrogate uncle?" At first it made sense, except then I remembered that Sirius is the one that volunteers at St. Mungos, and as Rigel, Sirius would be her father? Could someone explain this to me?
| foresticblaze chapter 14 . 7/21/2016
Haven't reviewed this series yet cause I couldn't stop reading, but I love it!
| greenprisoner chapter 1 . 7/13/2016
OMG YOU're on book 4 already and there's like 700k more for me to read i'm so excited. man i was on like chapter 17 thinking there was no way you could wrap up all 7 years . BUT YOU TOOK THE TIME To make each year into it's own novel lank story and i am SO HAPPY
| Fanoffiction02 chapter 13 . 7/7/2016
Lol you really do slip stuff in all over that comes up later. I love how she just thought she didn't have to calculate the alloy for a needle and yet come third year she will be doing that and more :D I can't wait until I get to the next book and try to find hidden gems although I never can until the next book is out but hey I like reading it regardless!
Ok so the whole sentience think made me uneasy and this was when it was First brought up...it gets soooo much worse in the next book! I just here this alarm going beep beep Beep Beep BEEP danger Danger (Will Robinson) danger Danger.
It's cool that she gets to be there for her sisters birth, but Really Archie isn't going to come because a test! I think that his school would make an exception if he missed it and let him make it up with something major like that. I know our schools have always be understanding, even university and he isn't at That level yet! And it would have been easier for them to act as themselves And get to spend quality time together with family. Just saying...I DID like that Draco and Pansy got to know that she was going to the birth. Despite how many times she has told them that their families are that close I don't think it really took Especially with Draco and this is an example he can See! That most have Really hurt Snape. I mean he can be in denial all he wants about his old flame as long as she only had an "heir" that was expected...but this is a punch to the gut of how happy they are Still. One thing I'm confused on. Did you change it where James' mother wasn't a Black? Maybe that Wasnt canon and I've just read soooo many fics that I take that fact As canon, but if he is the families Are blood related. Maybe not as close a cousin as Draco but not That far a branch away! Something like forth cousins to third cousins?
Was I the only one that thought Dumbledore was a little suspicious in his conversation. I mean didn't he Figure out it was Ginny being possessed by using Rigel's conversation as a way to pursue the students? He jumped up awfully abruptly and Right after Ginny came over! Maybe he just wanted to be Seen and Heard but with that timing? That makes me think he knew And That makes me Very uneasy. If so why did he not do something! He ends up letting Rigel do everything Again..just like canon and This Harry doesn't have a prophecy (that we Know of). And maybe it's just me reading Way too much in it but although he says "Mr. Black" as he should he never really states who her dad Is...yea probably paranoid.
Also just because someone has power and responsibilities does Not mean they are always right! Alot of times they begin to think they are infallible and that is where it gets dangerous so yes she and everyone else Should question those people.
Ginny not realizing that is has been over a week is Not suspicious in the least either... I mean she's looking zombie like and now is acting all chipper. That kind of bone weariness doesn't leave your appearance in days, but I guess they Are magical.
I suppose for her first Real potions accomplishment by herself to be given that level of importance in her subconsciousness to only then have the same person who was proud of her then try to sabotage that same ambition could be damaging. I kinda wondered why it was always James that she seeks the most approval from, and just wrote it off to him being the one that wasn't giving support where he should. I think Lily has the least amount of scenes or even mentions of the four adults in her life. Heck I almost think Diana is mentioned more than Lily; that makes me sad. Also, I the dream parallel to HPatSS where Harry dreams of the culprit. What's more interesting is the rest of the dream...I mean how much of that is foreshadowing? Obviously she deals with the magic problem in the next book, but I don't think it was Just her magic. I think that was a part but also her True self, when is she going to be free to be herself no more ruse?! Also the part where Addy is also a parselmouth! I think that is Very interesting. I mean what if she Does speak It early? Wouldn't That be a scene her hissing at Sirius' snakes with everyone there and the littlest snake circling around her like a puppy. And while I don't think James and Lily and Sirius Would have That bad a fallout I Do think it could be a heated situation and some stuff is Bound to come out.
Ok so How did Theo and Blaise sleep through that conversation? I think it more likely that they woke up too and then faked sleep...especially Blaise who it has already been demonstrated how light a sleeper he is. And it's a good thing she didn't spin that tale in front of Pansy because I don't think she would have bought it, but at least if she Did she wouldn't be anywhere near as Obvious as Draco!
Wake up scene...soooo funny! I would have called him on being a mattress hog, and probably covers, too. About him in Rigel's bed well I wonder if that's foreshadowing too?! Hmm I can see Archie doing the same, maybe even moving positions alot, ou or a snuggled. Hehe Harry probably didn't have a choice of whether or not to scoot away he probably threw an arm or even a leg over her. (I can speak from exasperated experience. When my little brother, not by much, and I were little-er and sleeping over at my grandma's we were usually put in the same bed and he was All of the above. I got kicked a couple times, while he was asleep!, and it probably sounds mean but I started kicking back and he stopped after that. Guess he dreamt a horse, he'd probably say a jackass, kicked him or something :-/] )
Is Lily the only one that Knows her daughter? Is that why it seems Harry never spends time with her...because she's scared her mom will figure it out? Is that also one of the reasons that they are having a baby...I day one because I can think of many scenarios the marriage law and fading sickness at the top of the list, not to mention the latest discussion of her name that I saw...? I mean does Sirius also see Harry like James does, I sorta doubt he thinks she's a saint but I also don't see him seeing Her completely as herself either. Remus I can see seeing Her especially in the most recent chapters he is kinda forced into getting a clearer picture (I'll come back to him later). As for James well is he being purposefully blind to that aspect of her too or just regular "daddys baby girl" happening where in the dad's eyes she never grows up? He is the head of the Aurora now so I can't seeing him as being that blind to things especially since he would have had so flack over his marrying a muggleborn despite him being old blood.
Ok so we finally get at I'd bit about Lily's magic yay! And why have they never discussed Harry's birth day? They really do Suck in that respect...I mean as close a family they are quirks and all they never discuss the things that matter most because it makes them uncomfortable...sigh. Love that James "truly fell in love with her" when she threw him away from her :D
Ok so apparently Archie knows more of the family history than Harry...is that because Archie asked, Sirius is more free with him, or Harry just never listened before? Maybe a combination of all three?
Huh rereading the scene where Snape comes to get Rigel after reading discussion on her name...just wow glad that didn't escalate any further and can't help but wonder if something similar to that scene will make an appearance again with more disastrous results?
Harry really is a trouble magnet! Is that a Potter gene thing too or just a Harry thing?
How did Selwyn fold herself through the door? Did she perform some contortionist bend, which her being an excellent defense person I can't really see her doing because it would leave her momentarily open to attack whether her head arm or leg entered first, or some kind of magic spell that is sorta like apparition but not That let her fold into the opening fluidly? Will Harry learn the spell if it was and definitely the eye magic spell...? I could see Leo knowing such a spell.
The "Founder's Hall". Will this come up again? I'm awfully intrigued by it. I don't think it was mentioned in the actual books, was it? Or is it another name for something we already know like the Room of Requirement? Also you have all the Founder's portraits in your story as well and I don't think that was canon either... will we see more of them later? I mean besides a messenger for the teachers...
Not an imposter indeed. And why could she not have said, "she threw her shoe at me"? I mean that would be something about the situation that wasn't stated but happened.
Oh my goodness, poor Rigel is getting pretty bad or good depending who you ask at those misleading truths. And for Selwyn to call her out on it...I guess good for her. Rigel Does lie alot.
Is Lily an unregistered animagus too? Did she and Severus learn together as the marauders did? does she ever use it in front of Harry if she is? Because although it's mentioned already about all the marauders' forms, she hasn't ever thought of her mom's. But the patronus looked familiar.
Wow what an ending! And a mention of the fourth book as well Oh boy :)
| Fanoffiction02 chapter 12 . 6/23/2016
Too bad Sprout couldn't talk some sense into her house.
Yay the twins show up!
Dean and Blaise's comment in class...does everyone know about Blaise's creature inheritance?
I Hate Lockhart. I don't think I can say that enough...really.
Rigel Black: Savior of Kittens...excuse me, Defender of Kittens...has a Nice ring to it...I guess...lol
So I'm assuming that the "Heir of Ravenclaw" was Luna? Right, right? Did the twins ask her to participate or did she just jump right into the ridiculousness? IS she the heir of Ravenclaw...dundunduuuuuuu!? I Really Love Luna; she's wonderful :D Will we be seeing more of her...please please please. Rigel Needs more girl friends really she does...it's for the story...(hmm I wonder if that'll work) :)
Me-ow HA. Weasleys in PRAGUE. Be afraid be very afraid...I know I am...really though they do Do an amazing job for RIGEL regardless of whether or not she wanted them too.
Hmm Draco does not like anyone else being possessive of Rigel. I really Really would like to see a scene with him and an in the know Leo hehehe Draco doesn't need to know yet... don't know how that scene would happen actually. For as much as Jon was willing to "meet" all his people I can Not see Draco slumming it. Guess it would have to be Leo in high society like one of the fanfics for your story. And isn't That something...not only are your stories widely loved they inspire fanfiction and art of them too! Amazing.
WOW how sweet in a Flintish sort of way. I mean that is kinda major I mean a break and he meant it to and even Quiddich! Just woah. He does have a Very valid point about being too perfect though. Are we going to see Rigel making more mistakes, deliberate or otherwise, soon? I think a nice fake tick like being clumsy (not that that would work for her I was thinking more of Tonka who might be slightly clumsy because of her ever changing body but I think is played up as misdirection as well) or Something would be interesting although it would be hard to pull off I guess since she's already established.
She really shouldn't ignore Blaise's advice about rune basics. I really wish she would have continued studying it too, I can understand why, but I can't help but think she'll need them or they will come up eventually.
Is the work she is doing for Flint's runes class even Right? I mean she is changing the assignments to fool Blaise but she doesn't understand everything about runes and even something that she thinks is similar like the thunder and lightning runes are wrong. She obviously has to change the stuff because well it's BLAISE ( he even noticed she didnt want Snape to see what she was working on, not suspicious at all) but couldn't she find someone Less suspecting or at least get him to start her at the bottom and work up...the pace she learns and one on one atmosphere as well as her somewhat knowledge of them should lend to quick catch up...just a thought... that doesn't matter if suppose since this book is over and done with but still.. .
Puzzling over Rigel...that's a good way to kill time and get a headache I'm sure...at least for Snape. Ok so That is both ominous in a not-dangerous foreshadowing way. That Snape is determined to find out her secret and that seven years is entirely too long to keep a secret in a place like Hogwarts...so I'm sorta looking for the truth to be revealed to Everyone at Least six year. And he is right about her relaxing. She doesn't have any place where she can be completely herself. Even in the alleys where she does relax she's not wholly herself. That's got to put a strain on her; she needs someone, besides Archie since is a co-conspirator and I doubt she tells him all either, to confide in if for nothing else as a fail safety or for her Sanity. That is kinda her problem with normal. It Isnt normal. LOL by the way. That whole meeting was interesting but I was getting looks for laughing out of nowhere at the end. Loved it. Mad Blacks indeed. I kinda want Sirius' next party to be Alice inspired now with him as the Mad Hatter because well where else will be having a costume party. Hmm who would be the Cheshire Cat?
Sorry but now I'm imaging sorta a Disney / HP/ your universe (which is inexplicably played out movie style in my head in an anime venue) mash up where they are singing the "happy unbirthday" song with Sirius yelling but it IS my party and his mother's portrait, that somehow got down because just couldnt quote make Lily as the Queen, yelling "off with his head". Sorry again my mind is a weird place...guess I didn't Have to add this...but hey share the madness around right?
Ok so I know Hagrid is a very competent caretaker of his animals. So how were the chickens able to sit long enough for the smell of rot to be so bad. He should've already taking care of it unless expressly asked to keep it for detentions. And that brings up another question do these teachers canon and fanon Not know what he sets for detentions? I mean sure line writing is stupid but handling dead carcasses that may or may be holding unknown germs and going after predators that could take down unicorns us just plain stupid to me. I'm pretty sure Dumbledore at least knew where canon Harry was going...he seemed to know way to much of Harry's life and hello an obstacle course that is conveniently covered in first year courses...come on? I liked Dumbledore as a young person reading the books for the first time but thinking on them later as an adult I have very mixed feelings towards him and can Not believe Harry named his son after the man. Maybe ive just read too many bashing fics that have colored my perception...But I guess I'm getting off topic.
I love the nods to canon throughout this chapter. Like they keep praising her for not chasing after the basilisk like some stupid Gryffindor :) those made me smile because honestly I love Your Harry more but it's cute that acknowledgements are made.
What about Rigel made Draco not argue with Millicent on "not clever" comment?
What Do house elves eat in your story?
I'm not surprised to see upperclassmen seated with Draco and Pansy and I'm suprised she Is? I mean Rigel knows what was happening and everyone knows where she will be headed so...they want the scoop too. A roosters crow does seem pretty lame!
Blaise is reading on South American runes... hmmm...I wonder if that will come up later on in the story as currently we know of at least two around and headed that way. So I guess I'm a little paranoid. Also I do not approve of the way Rosier is acting towards Rigel. It's reading as the beginning of stalker-ish behavior. He needs to find a different hobby other than obsessing over "Rigel" and for that matter she really should have Spoken up! Yes he probably would not have stopped but then she could have moved away or her friends would have had no qualms speaking as well. In fact, I'm suprised they did not; they have before! Oh and before I forget... does she have some method of securing her own...um ...shedding? I mean she keeps warning Draco and she took care of the potion with her spilt blood (although I would have taken the whole goblet or at least insisted that it be cleansed as well after filling the flask just in case someone went after the residue) but what about Her hair and other stuff? I mean we have just seen Rosier with his hand in her hair and while I'd like to say he would never turn into someone that says "it puts the lotion on" I can't help but think he could Possibly be someone with a pit (not to hate on Rosier because I Do find him an interesting character but that doesn't mean his actions don't sometimes squick me out... my cousin had a boyfriend that when they broke up he stalked her, broke into her new home and tried to kill her and He seemed normal..but maybe I'm being a bit too sensitive... I just know if he is making Harry uncomfortable and even her skin crawl it's just NO...so...) also Ginny had quite a handful of hair and she Is being possessed by a villain, not to mention all the people she said ruffled her hair and while I can't see the Twins doing something nefarious to her I Could see them doing something to prank her... anyways like I said Very curious about that aspect.
Another tangent here, I don't know why people keep saying that Rigel is asexual just because she isn't panting after ever character already and especially after the authoress' note! I mean good lord people she is only 12 and Not every 12 year old is boy-girl crazy. Some people don't even date till they are older and dare I say it do not loose there virginity until 20 or older; I know this is not the norm nowadays but it Does happen. And look at the character, she has already had the building blocks laid down anyways but maybe it is too subtle for some, I mean she is flattering towards Draco many times already in her thoughts not to mention she Notices how Rosier is looking at her. She might not know what it is he is doing, or she does at least on Some level and is in denial in my opinion or it wouldn't bother her so much, but just because she keeps lying to herself or tries to downplay it, even with Leo and he has all but said the exact words, doesn't mean she doesn't Notice all of it! She just doesn't acknowledge it, sometimes even to herself, because that is Not her focus at the moment, and that is what she usually does with things she doesn't want to think about push them away, and to be fair she is juggling quite a bit and having a relationship would complicate things. I guess that's a mimi rant but I've been thinking that reading so many comments and never said anything so it sorta built up.
I'm sure that they thought they were protecting the students but really that only makes them restless with no extracurriculars to take their minds off the situation and would likely have led to a rebellion of sorts if it didn't come to a head so soon! And poor Rigel, all she was trying to
| Guest chapter 11 . 6/20/2016
Wow Parvati is super angry with Lavender. Misplaced but understandable anger. I don't think we ever saw them in a tiff in the original. Will this still strain their friendship after everyone is healed? We don't really see them later...actually we don't really see many female students at all besides Pansy and a brief glimpse of Millicent every so often. Not saying they are never there because Ginny pops up after this story occasionally and Cho gets some more time but otherwise that is one thing you are lacking...more female characters that have a strong presence... um even Pansy has a considerably time cut then Draco. I do realize that as Harry is pretending to be a boy that she does have more time spent with just boys but it is a coed school and except for the dorm Rooms (and bathrooms) everything is supposedly coed. Just a thought. I know you are giving Hermione more time soon too and that looks like it will lead to even more time with her but I would suggest someone from Hogwarts as well... I nominate Luna (not least of which is she is a favorite of mine) because you seem to be mimicking the females from canon that stuck out. Anyways, like I said just a thought.
The DADA curse was linked to the horcux I belive in canon, or maybe not and that was just convenient timing because it was destroyed near the time V was defeated, but will we get more details about the curse in this story? Also does the person have to do the Whole year to be hit, does every teacher have something bad happen, and is it only one year? I think it was mentioned that some last more than one year in the previous book and Remus did not end in tragedy or Dumbledore for subbing either so just curious.
"Mauled by a hippogriff" love it but now I'm going to looking for a confrontation with the giant squid :-/)
Was her swear not to brew Wolfsbane magically reinforced? Well that kinda stinks although I suppose it would be highly suspicious if she started supplying Remus with the potions...I'm sure she could have come up with something to sell it with.
I don't think it's a good sign that she calls herself Rigel in her head. That makes me think the whole split personality is more likely to happen. And "what's the point"? The point is that is who she Is! Even when she corrected herself that was it. No in depth need to look at that at the moment... should have been taking Remus' advice just then and contemplated it more. It's probably a good thing that she started her month-lys if she was forgetting she was a girl.
Ou that was creepy in the rereading of Ginny's meditation...just knowing that Riddle was in there and taking control ICK (with a shiver).
Ok so obviously Ginny is super freaked about leaving her mind vulnerable but we don't really see any of the people it affected doing anything to prevent that vulnerability. Are any of them and we just don't see them? I know I would want to do something to protect myself after an event like that.
Wow rereading that part about having a guardian in her head after the whole DJ...just wow. The details you put into every little piece of your story is incredible. It's almost as if you have the complete story finished and now you are just going back and fleshing it up...but then again you probably Do sorta have that... You know where the story is going most likely, because sometimes it ends up nowhere near where it was supposed to go, and have the plot mapped out in your head, or even written down, already. But even so... wow :)
Lmao. Totally had a moment there thinking about Lockhart's made up spells and "please". Pictured a Rigel / Barney from How I Met Your Mother moment... lmao again.
I wonder who Lockhart ticked off enough (who hasn't he) to be invited to nationals five times because I refuse to think there is any other explanation for it then someone wanting to seriously hurt/humiliate maybe even kill him at the competition. Hmph good riddance I say.
I wonder if Kakashi "felt a disturbance in the force" when Lockhart said that! (Hehehe couldn't help referencing something else to your reference) And omg I think this is the first time I caught that...how embarrassing... but just goes to show how wonderful your stories are, I really Do get something new and different every time I read them :)
Huh. I sorta think Lockhart was saving up all those comments that he "Didn't hear" from Draco until he had a big enough audience to try and humiliate him back.
He wants to duel Rigel? She's no lady. But oh heavens no she's a lady too. Oh well.
It is kinda interesting about how and When magical inheritance gifts come into effect. I mean Blaise didn't get his fully until 13 when his magic matured but Tanks and even Harry had their's their whole lives. Interesting.
Love Harry's take on her gift. So far it is kinda useless but for it to have been so rare and deemed awe worthy there Has to be something more to it...right...please?
Way to go Rosier even if it Was to be helpful. Nice that you gain clout, no matter her friends feelings get hurt. Anyways you only know because Rookwood pushed her hand and mainly because Pansy and Draco were there...so by default.
Kinda wish she would have been proactive in telling Sirius and Archie what happened instead of letting them hear of it...it would Really have helped their rocky relationship.
I wish she would have said something to the effect of she did the wrong assignment due and has Next week's for this week but I realize a detention was needed for the story but still... I can wish and it seems she always gets in trouble with McGonagall and no other teacher (that is hopefully not foreshadowing at all especially about a homework issue that was never solved...so shhhh don't tell)
Binny cheers me too and a little cheering before and after that scene was needed!
I see Ernie is a pompous little jwhole in your story too. Hmph loyal. To whom?
Did her magic mean to protect the others as well as herself since it instinctively acted, I would like to think so? And did it not shield Dumbledore because it would interfere with His shield or subconsciously she thought he could handle himself?
At least Something good came of it. It was nice what Sprout said to her. I wish more adults would express their positive thoughts of her To her.
Your stories are ALWAYS interesting! I can't believe it took me this long to make it through this chapter but real life happens (not that I'm complaining...about either actually)
Next chapter :D
| Guest chapter 6 . 6/18/2016
I love this story a lot but I just really hate hermione. "Wait patiently until her friendship meant more to Harry than his secrets did"?! How nosy and presumptuous that is! Is she going to threaten to break off their friendship to get his secrets out of him or something!? Shouldn't she respect his privacy if she really is his friend!? Gah! She's even worse in book 4! Really, every other character, even Claw, is 10x less aggravating than hermione.