|Reviews for Regular Time Lords|
| Geneivere StarryEyes chapter 2 . 8/30/2013
Did you write this on a kindle ...I sigh...
Again, same issues, paragraphing and expanding on your plot, filling in the chapters so they're fat and juicy to read. Dude, don't write from a kindle, the lord knows why people try to post on fanfiction with those things.
Yes, I am ranting. There is something called proof reading.
I'm basically editing for you, for free, please take my suggestions.
| Geneivere StarryEyes chapter 1 . 8/30/2013
Please check your grammar and sentence construction. Take your time dude.
I BEG OF YOU, SENTENCE CONSTRUCTION, PLEASE, AND COMMAS. Commas make the world go round, they are one of the founding bits of writing. And full stops, and paragraphing. And basic writing skills.
Unless you wrote this under hypnosis then...well its still not acceptable.
You're reading this and thinking that I'm being very rude. I am doing this out of love for the fandoms. I love the idea of a cross between these two so I would like to see justice done by it.
So rewrite with the above in mind, and also, please expand on your ideas and the actions. Describe, and portray, use your adjectives and adverbs and tell the story through these, so that there's something to actually read and imagine. I demand it.
And paragraphing, please put your dialog on a new line each time. and pair it with an action ie describe what they do or feel as they talk so you don't end up with he said, it said , he said, she said...that is boring as adverse to...
bending over, he moaned, "I should kill myself"...
... as it shrieked in indignation,
"Don't" and she flung her fist in his face, "Don't you dare."
I hope you do a rewrite, I would love to read it when it's improved.
| BlueHedgehog1997 chapter 2 . 5/13/2013
Impressive fanfic you've got going! I hope you update soon!
| Finn77978 chapter 1 . 5/7/2013
Fionn it's me finn with a new acount!
| Dr. Gavel HD chapter 1 . 6/25/2012
This is very good, although I shall say it's a bit rushed