|Reviews for Hot Day|
| Yemi Hikari chapter 1 . 1/11
Wow, that was badly written. Grammar is rather important, and there is a lack of emotion.
| Juri.DP chapter 1 . 6/22/2014
Yup. This reminds me of the earlier days of FF. Ah... What simple times they were.
I miss them...
| sasodei-iz-awesome chapter 1 . 10/9/2008
So... what's next? If there is a next...
Peace, love, and all that shit...
| sonia chapter 1 . 6/23/2008
this was lame
| temjinxzarron chapter 1 . 5/31/2004
It's cool and all but are you going to update it?
| Milk-Toast chapter 1 . 3/8/2004
Well some grammer errors... umm when i was reading this fan fic I just kept thinking "And?..." Oh well
| Silent Bob 546 chapter 1 . 7/28/2003
O! Interesting! heh, hot naruto?
| Rena-tama chapter 1 . 7/15/2003
Nice start,could get intresting but its to early to soon
| miya wada chapter 1 . 5/20/2003
wada: not very nice writing, you should focus more on description rather than dialogue and sound effects like 'toktoktok' and 'kring'. too many exclamation marks also make the story appear childish and surfacial.
| pyne chapter 1 . 7/19/2002
Uhm... did you write this in another language and run it through BabelFish? 'Cause that's what it sounds ilke. ;; I would advise a spellcheck and a grammar check before posting another chapter to this. You seem have some issues with past and future tense.
| Kataru chapter 1 . 6/15/2002
Hey There! Thanks for reviewing my story. Im really bad at grammar. I only check few spelling and grammars. After that, it's ready to publish. I admit it, im too lazy on that kind of stuff. I got a bunch of unfinish fanmanga's and fanfic. I wish i could finish this one. Beta reader? hmm... maybe i should look for one. Hey! Anyone who's interested to be my beta reader? he-he-he...
| I like angst to lazy to sign in chapter 1 . 6/11/2002
I gotta say I LOVE HINATAxNARUTO. ::clears throat:: Though I feel the grammar of the story could use a little work. You might try getting a test reader. I'd offer to help but my grammar aint that much better. Oh and try to avoid sentences like:Later, Naruto goes off for a walk . This is a very dull third person narrative ::I'm not saying the story is dull please don't think that::. It just gets kind of repetitive saying the name so many times, after the first few sentences it becomes unneccesary to address Naruto by his full name and you can use he or him. Unless Of course he's in a group of people. Oh yeah some of your sentences are broken up unnaturally and seem a bit to short.
Again I urge you to find a beta reader. It will help to catch those annoying tidbits of grammar that are essential in any story.
Good luck with this and yes it is still a good story.
| Nora D chapter 1 . 6/8/2002
Iruka-senseeeei! *giggle* He's so sweet. Continue, when's Hinata show up? - ::adores the Hina-Naru coupling::