|Reviews for The Baby|
| Autumn Rose chapter 16 . 10/9/2016
You must already know how much I liked it by now. :) Good work!
I do have a few constructive criticisms, though. Sometimes it's hard to tell who's speaking and the reader needs to go back and re-read the sentence. It doesn't happen often, but it did happen near the end where somebody says, "So where are we going? Please don't say Shelbyville." Later on, it becomes apparent that Maggie said it. To avoid confusion, just write in the sentence before the quote. As such: "Maggie's voice came from the back seat, interrupting Cecil's thoughts."
There were some other confusing sentences, such as in the chapter "Biologically, She is", the part where it mentioned Maggie getting transferred from Maris' to Marge's womb was fine, but the sentence after it seemed to imply Maggie being conceived in another way. And in the last chapter, "Epilogue" I didn't understand what was meant when they were talking about telling Mel about the demon. "That was no man, may I remind you. Not after everything that he's done. Except for Mel..." Perhaps a sentence was accidentally deleted?
The story was well-paced, though I wish it was a little longer. It seemed to end too quickly. Maybe building up the suspense before the climax a little more would help.
A sequel sounds good, even if it's unlikely at this point. Thank you for your fanfic contribution. I enjoyed it.
| Autumn Rose chapter 15 . 10/8/2016
I LOVED Mel's cameo at the end there! :)
| Autumn Rose chapter 13 . 10/8/2016
I agree with your explanation as to why Bob didn't/couldn't quit the show. I felt for him, too. No one deserves to be put through so much abuse for another person's amusement. (Comforts him) I know you can't hear me, Bob, but I'm someone who cared about you. When I saw you being abused, I felt only sorrow.
I love this story and I have a few guesses as to who this master is... And I can't wait to review the next chapter!
| Autumn Rose chapter 12 . 10/8/2016
I'm not sure if I love the blue gunk, or hate it. It was nice to see Bob and Cecil laugh, but I think it may have tortured them for too long. (Though that might just go to show how merciless Grimes is at this point.)
Suffice to say, the story is thrilling. I felt a wave of parental rage when Gino was hurt by Grimes' carelessness! (And I'm not even a parent yet.)
| Autumn Rose chapter 11 . 10/8/2016
I agree with you on the choking thing. It was always my least favourite 'classic' gag.
I'm also starting to like Bob more in this. I always was a sucker for his fatherly side. :)
Hope that the men can save their children! That must be terrifying to have them stolen like that! Not to mention being completely helpless to stop it.
| Autumn Rose chapter 10 . 10/8/2016
The best chapter so far! "You didn't kiss back, that's your problem." - Love how casually he said it.
NOW I see why Maggie and Gino won't be a couple in this story. It isn't Shelbyville, after all. ;)
It was funny to see how Francesca and Cecil acted when drunk. Looks like they can get along!
| Autumn Rose chapter 9 . 10/8/2016
One of the things I like about this is that you can feel genuine emotion in the interactions between Cecil and Maggie. Nothing feels forced, or gary-stu. Many writers starting out have these problems, so I'm glad to see this progress in a realistic way.
Can't wait to find out who Frank's evil master is!
| Autumn Rose chapter 8 . 10/8/2016
This chapter reminds me of the next upcoming THOH... which will be featuring both Sideshow Bob and Frank Grimes in a cameo... wild!
I like the Maggie being Cecil's daughter thing. Though initially I thought the twist would be that she'd be the daughter of Cecil and Marge. I'm not disappointed, though.
And now... revenge for the Simpson family!
| That One Person chapter 7 . 10/8/2016
Awwww... Poor Cecil.
| That One Person chapter 6 . 10/8/2016
I'm liking it so much that I just went through six chapters without stopping. XD
Cecil is Maggie's father now instead of Bob. I actually like it more this way than if Bob had claimed to be her father. Bob already has a kid, and Cecil lost his, so why not? ... Cecil's nightmares sound scary. I hope the poor guy can someday recover.
| Guest chapter 16 . 12/31/2015
This story is amazing! I don't have an account, but if I ever get one, I might write a sequel if I have your permission and you don't write one. I'll come back to reread this another time, as well as your other stories, so, please, just tell me yes or no as to whether you're writing a sequel for this and whether I can write a sequel for this. Please, just let mere know. Thank you, and great stories!
| Lokidaughter13 chapter 12 . 7/28/2015
... Grimes, you are unworthy of the Phantom of the Opera reference. But it was well placed so you can keep it.
| Lokidaughter13 chapter 10 . 7/28/2015
I have no words for that last part... But yeah that's okay in Shelbyville
| Rowknan chapter 6 . 6/25/2015
Well damn Francesca gave Cecil the Buisness
| inactive373872847 chapter 1 . 7/26/2013
Wow. Just wow. this story was fantastic! It caught me off gaurd when we found out about maggie actually being cecils daughter but in a good way! Really good writing too:)