|Reviews for The Black Gates of Paradise|
| Pereprin chapter 4 . 4/16
This has been such an enjoyable, evocative read. You write these characters beautifully and with such convincing dialogue. It's no small feat to achieve an authentic interpretation of a character in fanfiction, and I feel you've accomplished just that. You juggle heavy subject matter and relevant flashback sequences with such mastery that I am left wanting for pages and pages more of this story. I so hope you will continue this. What can I offer that would lure you back and keep you writing? A paltry offering of a story I've not yet written? One of your choosing? TELL ME AND I WILL DO IT.
| Soul of Ashes chapter 4 . 1/7
I wish you'd update this one, darling. It's stunning and lovely...and I'm aching for more!
| what chapter 4 . 10/19/2014
Is it over?
| One percent chapter 3 . 10/13/2014
There are so many things RIGHT with this chapter that I find myself reading it again everytime I think "time to review" just to make sure I did not miss something.
In other words, David is not the only one who's dangerously addicted
First of all that David providing diagnostics inside David's "head" is hilarious, he sounds like an advertisement for Weyland Industries but he is talking to David himself xD Whoever thought of adding this feature would have had to be either zealous or very funny
Elisabeth's reactions and his reaction to her reactions... priceless. We learn a lot from what she is thinking even though we do not see her at all.
The flashbacks. LOVED them. They make me feel as if David was abused, ripped off and treated unfairly while still understanding that other people simply see him as a robot. The situation becomes horrible only because we have his perspective and his thoughts about it. You make a wonderful job of developing him without ever letting us forget what he in fact is. Perfect a thousand times!
I really thought Vickers was there. I fell for it. And whenever I would doubt, something she would do would make me doubt my doubt. and so... he now really has the ability to overdose and hallucinate.
Special mention for: "Why would he ride a horse when there are no horses in attendance?"
How you manage to incorporate the humour without breaking your flow is splendid. You are a genius!
Now, on my way to re-re-re-reading the 4th chapter again.
Oh God, can I beg for more chapters?
| stefanie bean chapter 2 . 9/28/2014
David's "broken" speech is terrifying and sad at the same time.
You make the most ordinary objects seem menacing, like the shower head as "a fanned cobra spitting from rows of tiny oval mouths."
I got a strong sense of Venus Anadyomene when David took Elizabeth out of the oyster-like alien medpod. The re-birth imagery is strong, too. And while I always thought David was completely sentient (and ensouled, for lack of a better term) from the start, it seems that now Elizabeth is starting to be aware of it.
Now Elizabeth is David's "unwanted creation." Nice reversal.
For the last line, was it supposed to read "The universe is an endless cage...", i.e. repeating the phrase above, or was "in" used deliberately?
Thanks for another haunting chapter.
| One percent chapter 2 . 9/26/2014
When david was talking to her, i could feel the conflict between his programming, his robotic statement of the facts and his ... dare i say raw emotions. It made an impact. Now i find myself wondering what it would be like to process data like him. And how funny, in a way, that he is forced to be cordial and reassuring by his very programming as if it were some sort of conscience or strong upbringing.
The dream section might have been a bit too long. Still, i could not stop reading it because i knew it would be a very rewarding experience.
And God, it was!
| One percent chapter 1 . 9/26/2014
Oh wow! The negociation between them was intense, smart and in character!
I cannot stop replaying the dialogues of this chapter into my head. It was simply perfect. Beautiful and painful.
| stefanie bean chapter 1 . 9/22/2014
David at the end of Prometheus reminded me of a iteraphim:/b not just the "household god" type, but one of those prophetic talking heads that you took with you on journeys, who would guide you. Although this iteraphim/i looks like he's guiding Elizabeth into nightmare country.
Good that you mention the physical consequences of Elizabeth's surgery. No matter how good the medpod might have been, the human abdomen is just a mess for weeks after something like that, even under the best of circumstances.
Great phrase: "like a lost morsel inside an alien throat." Shudder.
Your story hearkens more to the grim-dark imagery of iAlien/i and iAliens/i, and reminds me of why I liked those two movies so much.
I've always been interested in the moral conundrums and complications of sentient machines (Astroboy, Hal9000, AI's David, Mr. Data.) My guess is that Charlie has severely underestimated David's emotions, as well as Weyland misunderstanding David's status re: a soul.
| MaiWishes chapter 4 . 8/18/2014
Why do fanfiction writers insist on giving androids and AIs emotions. The message is to appreciate them as a person but they try to make them human. They aren't and that is what makes them interesting
| Alexandria K chapter 4 . 7/25/2014
Oh. My. Gosh. This story is -amazing-. I am dying for an update! Your writing is beautiful.
| SweetRevengeful chapter 4 . 7/7/2014
I love love love this story, please update soon if possible!
| Humdumdiddlydurr chapter 1 . 6/25/2014
I really am enjoying this story so far. It's both gripping and disturbing. I love the characterization of David 8 (particularly how you have constructed his evolution) and the relationship with Elizabeth, much more believable than others in the genre. I can't find much to critique other than that you haven't posted in a while, which is making me lose my tiny mind.
| DivergentDampyre chapter 1 . 6/16/2014
You do have a way with words... the wrong way. I was curious about what EL James' mentally stunted sibling would write like. Now I know. And I thought that they stopped giving pregnant women thalidomide.
| ShimmeringWater chapter 4 . 2/9/2014
Great story. I love the characters. I hope your dad is better.:-)
| maddz1 chapter 4 . 1/28/2014
So interesting! Very unique plot line. Love it.