|Reviews for Love|
| Guest chapter 1 . 4/21/2013
Love it! Very emotional and a great ending and description. Though a few minor spelling mistakes.
| Frodo's sister chapter 1 . 10/16/2012
This is a good story. You did a good job of describing Peter's feelings towards Edmund. I noticed a few grammatical errors though.
| King Caspian the Seafarer chapter 1 . 7/20/2012
Gah! Sorry it took me so horribly long to review!
I like, more than anything, the basis and idea behind this fanfiction. It could be said that I am a little too attached to brother-fics, but there is just something so fulfilling and sweet about two brothers like Peter and Edmund Pevensie fighting and dying (or almost dying) for each other, and then, when one is still alright, getting insanely and terribly worried about the one who IS wounded or dying.
I like the way you went through the list of Peter's emotions in the first paragraph, and describe how each of them fuels his determination to fight the witch. So many different emotions, and yet each is equally strong and painful to Peter (especially the guilt he feels, almost as if Edmund's betrayal of them was his fault in the first place).
I also think there is a lot of potential in this story for a good many other things. Basically, you described the scene from the movie with a little elaboration on Peter's feelings and thoughts near the beginning, but it gets a little sparse in the middle. This might be the effect of writing a fic at 3 AM (something I have had some experience with in the past). If you're bored and looking for something to do one day, you might consider going over this again and trying to add more feelings in the middle and end. You have the mention of fear for Edmund, but when Aslan roars and then conquers the witch, is Peter still consumed with worry for Edmund, or does he momentarily forget it in the glory of Aslan's victory and power? And when they have the lovely group hug, maybe Peter could have another barrage of feelings-but some that aren't as painful as the first.
Good job spelling "loathe" right (so many people get it wrong and it KILLS me). In fact, the only typo I saw was "dwarg" instead of "dwarf" in the third paragraph, so great job all around with spelling and all that. I can well understand Peter not wanting to be separated from Edmund after the events of the Battle of Beruna. And the ending is very sweet and fulfilling-those good old Pevensie boys, not afraid to share the fact that they really do care very much about each other.
So yes, all in all, a good job, but with a little more work it could be a really great job. The idea behind the story is often the hardest thing to muster up, and once you've got that (which you have, for this fic) you can mess around and experiment to your heart's content. This is a good fanfiction, though. Well done!
| acacia59601 chapter 1 . 7/8/2012
Another goodie, with a couple of spelling problems I noticed. First paragraph should be ripped not wripped. and the third paragraph should have dwarf not dwarg... :) Good otherwise though!
| WillowDryad chapter 1 . 6/24/2012
Awww, that's so sweet. My favorite point in the whole movie is when Peter pulls Edmund into a hug after he is healed. :)
| CourtneyHowlett chapter 1 . 6/24/2012
That was simply beautiful! I love how you describe things, because when I can clearly picture something in my head, that's when you know you've done a good job. And 3 o' clock seems to be a magical time for creating stories since you did VERY well on this one. I'll never stop loving your stories. Keep rockin'
| LadyAlambiel chapter 1 . 6/24/2012
Good story. I like the feel of it for the brothers. However, you need to watch your formatting. The paragraphs are too close together and seem to run into each other simply because of the lack of space between them, which makes it difficult to read. Other than that, it's quite good. Keep writing!
| MCH chapter 1 . 6/24/2012
Nice chapter about what Peter is thinking and feeling about Edmund and what happened.
Could you do me a favour please? Please put bigger gaps between each paragraph.
| otherrealmwriter chapter 1 . 6/24/2012
This was sweet. Nice work.