|Reviews for Brittle Means it Breaks|
| fanaticallyFictitious chapter 2 . 3/4/2013
All the irons are in. the. Fire!
...ya I'm just spaming you now.
| fanaticallyFictitious chapter 1 . 3/4/2013
Cute! Love the 9 3/4 joke. I'm so glad I finally found your work!
| Avatar Sangmu chapter 1 . 6/30/2012
Please look up what a Mary Sue is.
And remember, they don't have to have a tragic past to be good!
Oh no,poor Melinda! She's so special and has SUCH a tragic past and she's just such a wonderful child!
Please make her more human. What's her personality supposed to be like? Her flaws, her likes and dislikes?
A story is not interesting unless you get to know the characters, the people who are experiencing the plot.
And character development is very important in a story.
We develop in real life.
Characters develop in plots.
Please don't make this some happy, good ol', dandy story.
Give her some growth.
Make this a journey.
You're very good at paragraphing and you seem to be a good story teller in the sense of "backstory, chracters, blah blah."
And your spelling is good.
But you need to be good at STORY TELLING too.
The characters are natural, humanish.
But remember, as the story progresses, have us get to know the characters.
Who they are, what they stand for, and allow us to watch them grow.
Sorry, I just read a Mary Sue story and since this is an OC with a tragic past I jumped to conclusions!
PLEASE don't let me down!
And your summary makes people think it's a Mary Sue, the summary should be about the plot too get readers hooked and interesting.
Maybe a better title.
You clearly have experience in writing, like essays or schoolwork.
But a story is different.
The title must reflect the story and the plot.
Good luck, and Happy Writing!