|Reviews for Undying Rhapsody: Hymn of the Frozen|
| Guest chapter 3 . 1/10/2014
A well executed chapter! I really like the way you're expanding on the game's universe by bringing in the mythos and characters of the other games in the series, as well as building your own. It flushes out a more realistic world that you want to sit down and study, possibly finding all the connections between our heroes and the heroes of the other games.
I like the direction you're taking with Talon... for the most part. I know he's had years of training beforehand, which leads to some awesome badassery, like the fight against the plant cage. The exploding knife trick is something I've used in my own story, though I think you're using a more expanded idea of it than I am. However, this badassery also has a consequence in that Talon's growth as a character may be stunted, as compared to the other characters. I've always found that in the Final Fantasy stories, the characters grew as they leveled up, not just as fighters, but as people (which may explain why I didn't like Final Fantasy 8 so much XP). Talon doesn't have an apparent ladder to climb, but that can be for two main reasons:
1) He might already be at, or near, his limitations. Stronger moves and the like may occur, but at his current level, it could be easy to accidentally put him in a class all his own.
2) We don't know the limits of his powers and he could in fact learn and grow as both a character and a fighter in ways we just don't see yet.
Personally, I think the second is the more likely reason. You've already expanded on such a rich backstory that Talon will likely match it in the future and come out as a very fun character to read. The prior concerns are just something to keep in mind as you go along.
And you're right, writer's block and new releases never mix. XP Here's to hoping we don't have to wait for another year before your next chapter! XD
| Krimson Rogue chapter 2 . 8/11/2012
Amusing stuff. I like how you changed things up and took Marcus out of the picture, only to have Tal replace him. I think it also could have been cool to have Tal jump from the orchestra when the fighting began, but then the actual play wouldn't have been as interesting, and the audience would probably wonder why a violinist was jumping in to fight.
Still, with his background, Tal is turning into quite the character. I like his interactions with Zidane and I see you're heading in a similar direction to what I did with Vivi.
The fight was detailed, the characters interesting, and I can't wait to see where this goes next. XD Great stuff thus far. :)
| Midnight the Black Fox chapter 1 . 7/29/2012
This is good can't wait to read more XD
| Guest chapter 1 . 7/2/2012
Hm, I've read something similar to this before...oh yeah, you wrote a version of this before I think. Well, I loved that one but I think I prefer this one right now. It seems to flow a bit better. Is this a rewrite of that one, or is this just a mirror to it?
| Krimson Rogue chapter 1 . 6/27/2012
My interest piqued at once when you started by saying you used property owned by both Square AND Bethesda.
You started off very strong. I liked the rapid dialogue and incomplete sentences. It gave a good sense of urgency as the doctors rushed to save the kid.
Good intros for both Talon and Arrowcatcher (love that name XD). Though Talon seems like he'll be a slower, more intricate build as a character, Arrowcatcher caught my attention at once. I like how you set them up as roommates/brothers. Good connection already.
Interesting tactic in jumping ahead year after year. By the end, you had me wondering how Talon would end up in Final Fantasy IX, but this way makes sense. I just wonder if any of those Black Paladins you mentioned are ever going to show up. With the names you listed, Alexandria wouldn't stand a chance when they come in to invade Lindblum, Eidolons or no. XD
Overall, a good start to a good story. You've set Talon up nicely, with important scenes showing his growth from youth to the current era. And now I can't help but wonder how Lord Benediction is going to play into all of this...
Looking forward to more!