|Reviews for A Girls Dream|
| myoko hanasawa chapter 5 . 6/7/2014
aww i want more, please ? please make more !
| Nicole Tan chapter 5 . 8/28/2013
I love your story !
I don't care about the Grammar as long as i can read it
Then , can you have a scene where Gon gets forced to dress up in a totally sexy/cute outfit with the complete makeover ( wears wig , fake glasses , etc ) and has to go somewhere ( a date ) with killua who doesn't know that she is Gon .. But when he was about to 'kiss' Gon , he finds out that she is Gon becuase her wig came off ...
Do you like my idea ?
| nicole tan chapter 5 . 8/28/2013
I love this story ! And i agree with guest-san .. I don't care about the grammar
And when Gon reaches the school, can there be Hisoka x fem Gon and Killua x Fem Gon? Maybe jealousy and... a scene where Gon gets forced to dress up in a totally sexy outfit with the complete makeover ( use wig , fake glasses , etc ) and has to go somewhere with killua who doesn't know that she is Gon ... But then , killua find out because her wig suddenly came off .. -
| audreen nicole tan chapter 5 . 8/29/2013
I love your story ! I don't really care about the grammar as long as i can read it
Can i suggest a idea for you ( not entirely my idea , i just add something ) ?
When gon is in the exam , A scene where gon forced to use a sexy outfit and a makeover ( fake glasses , wigs , etc ) and has to go somewhere with killua who doesn't know that she is Gon .. But when killua is about to 'kiss' Gon , her wig came off and reveal gon's true hair and face .. What do you think ?
If you don't like it , it's okay -
| lina chapter 5 . 6/29/2013
please continue the story, I like it this far
| Guest chapter 1 . 2/22/2013
It's nice. :D But kinda short.
| Neaki chapter 5 . 2/2/2013
w realmente gracias a pesar de que fue algo corto pero sigue continuandolo por fis 3
| Guest chapter 5 . 1/8/2013
Write more please.
| Nickirem.Tetsuya.Zoldyck chapter 5 . 1/4/2013
Try to make the paragraphs smaller pls, other wise it is very very good.
| Guest chapter 4 . 11/6/2012
I don't care about the grammar that much... But when Gon reaches the school, can there be Hisoka x fem Gon and Killua x Fem Gon? Maybe jealousy and... a scene where Gon gets forced to dress up in a totally sexy/cute outfit with the complete makeover (and the guys react XD) ... Does anybody agree with me on this? O-O Or am I just blbbering on nonsense no one wants to hear?T-T
Still... LUV THE STORY! XD
| AMUTO chapter 2 . 10/27/2012
DEAR, 'SWEAT HEART'?
DONT U MEAN SWEET HEART?
BY THE WAY, LUV THE STORY
| MaiAkikoChan chapter 4 . 8/30/2012
Yay. Another update!
Alright, first thing first. The author note at the beginning. It looks like a block of writing. That's not good. If it's a dialogue, give some space such as when another person starts to talk, it'll be on another line than the previous one. And ah-ha! It's "hugs" not "HUGES". Hehehe
"another part of town was a boy in his". Perhaps you can make use of comma and "there" between "town" and "was".
"While he was eating a spider came up.". Perhaps a comma would be suitable between "eating" and "a spider".
"HE'S BEATED FOUR IN A ROW.". Somehow, that sounds weird.
"...the suite man stared...". I see that you used the correct word before, but here "e" is not needed in "suit" that you're referring to. Also, the suit you're referring to is not a verb and so, no need to say "..the suited man..".
"I KNEWHE WAS...". A space. You forgot a space.
"What are you doen kid". "doing" and not "doen".
The chapter was good. I think it's better than the previous ones! Good work. Daemonfox too. Good work.
However, try to lessen the use of a block of writing. Disperse them appropriately into different paragraphs may help. It is also to avoid confusion and not to mention that sometime a reader eye might get tired from looking at all those writing jumbled up in one big, massive paragraph.
Smileys and I'll be looking forward to the next chappie!
| MaiAkikoChan chapter 2 . 8/9/2012
"It was a bright early morning on Whale Island the village was at peace.", I think you can make use of either fullstop or comma. -shrugs- I don't know.
"Where Gon at?", that sentence doesn't seem to be right somehow.
...and then, when Mina answerred Minto, her last part which is "Why", should have a question mark there.
Speaking of which, isn't it Mito rather than Minto?
Alright. This was...nice, but you do seem like missed fullstops or commas. They look like a block of writing which is not really good.
I'll be following the story and wait for the update, ne.
| MaiAkikoChan chapter 1 . 8/8/2012
Sounds interesting enough even if there are grammatical errors every now and then.
Such as 'who' should have been used instead of 'how'. "...would tell of his adventures...", I think you need 'all' in between "tell" and "of". Also, "...to got to a special school the only way to enter the school is...", I think you can make use of fullstop between the 'special school' and the 'the only way'. Moreover, the "This is where are story begins.", I think you should 'the' rather than 'are' and 'four -teen', isn't it suppose to be just 'fourteen'?
| Nispedana chapter 2 . 8/8/2012
I... suggest you get a beta. Or at least read-through this, ne? It ALWAYS helps.
And please make the later chapters longer, too.
It is still pretty interesting and I do hope you carry on with that 'school' idea. I'm definitely looking forward to that.
And as for the pairing...
Killua is good, but I'm intrigued at what'll happen if she gets paired with a spider. Shalnark, perhaps? XD