|Reviews for Mobile Saddle Gundam Friendship|
| Matrix7o6 chapter 1 . 9/17/2012
DUDE! This is freaking sweet! You must make more chapters a fanfic like this shouldn't go to waste!
| Michelle the Editor chapter 1 . 7/30/2012
I can always count on you for plenty of good, detailed descriptions. Turning unicorns into an off-breed of Earth Ponies is intriguing, and the attack on the colony strong.
The opening wasn't very involving, just two unknown machines fighting for unknown reasons. The scene following it didn't give me any reason to care about Amethyst or Iridescence, just threw them into a stereotypical bullying scenario made bizarre by the Gundam Saddle thing: the bullying did not seem worth risking imprisonment. The rest of Amethyst's scenes don't do much to make me like her.
Sometimes you were a little too detailed, slowing down the action or sliding into run-on sentences, sometimes even overwhelming the plot. Even if certain robots are going to come in handy later, infodumping all of their weaponry and then having them do next to nothing in the actual scene really slows down the action. The characters are overshadowed and thrown right into chaos before the reader can start to understand them and therefore care what happens.
Too much is probably better than too little; maybe it's just me living up to my editor name, but I think there's a lot you could cut or turn into a quick line in a later scene and improve the pacing. It is beyond obvious that you've put a lot of work into the robots, but the presentation is not serving the story's needs effectively.
| Guest chapter 1 . 7/1/2012
this is awesome...