|Reviews for King Camlann|
| marmota-b chapter 1 . 9/2/2014
What I think of it? I think it suits the subject matter excellently, and, well, I'm not familiar with Tennyson's work, but whatever you were aiming for, I think you did pull off a style that sounds very Narniany medievally right.
"So if he is Bad, who are we, chosen by Him?" - probably the most powerful sentence in the whole thing for me. There is so much behind it.
| Linorien chapter 1 . 7/30/2014
Oh, I like the poem form this was written in.
| Athena Silverwolf chapter 1 . 3/14/2013
I like the new way that you wrote this; it is very different than anything else of yours that I've read. I don't think I've read any other stories of Peter's predecessor, so this was both new and good to read. I liked it :)
| Miss mia chapter 1 . 3/6/2013
Beautiful word-smithying! How I love the homage you always give to the masters who have gone before. And your AN at the end just made me laugh out loud. :)
| Narnia-Bound chapter 1 . 9/17/2012
I really liked this. However you got the Witch's name wrong in part of the poem. You call her Jaedan and not Jadis. other wise very good job!
| Guest chapter 1 . 7/16/2012
Wow! that was amazing! I was entranced! Please continue to write!
| Eavis chapter 1 . 7/3/2012
This was unbelievable. No, truly, how on earth did you do it? At best I can manage but a few lines of prose and never in such an excellently written and referenced style. Well done.
| Guest chapter 1 . 6/29/2012
(OldFashionedGirl95, back for another round)
I like this better every time I read it. It really is glorious. Blind Camlann the Fortunate - with a named sword and a named horn, being all Rolandy with his horn, and is that the same horn that was later given Susan? And Phillip (I think it has two Ls) and Oreius and the laments to Aslan like psalms!
-"...his lips moved to greet a moment more"
-"And in a tone nigh weeping:"
-"Humble and sweet was Fortune's fair King. / We, Narnia, would have happ'ly died for Camlann. / But he, blind since birth, saw not the blade that felled him /And, so, Camlann died for us (miserable guardians) first."
-"Come, Peter," said he, once the Narnians were sent /Off to complete all manner of useless tasks," (This just makes me giggle).
-"Faithfully have I listened to all you have said, and / Thinking all the while to find that root, that I might tear / All arguments and doubt from your mind completely." (This image is just perfect, that of pulling the false arguments out by the root.)
And I just love all of Edmund's speech. It's perfect, and it somehow reminds me of King Harold, cut down by an arrow in the eye. Wasn't he considered a good king?
This really does sound like Tennyson's form. Well done.
| lifechiaroscuro chapter 1 . 6/28/2012
I can honestly say that your prose is very nearly as good as your- oh goodness, I can't remember the word; I feel like a bad excuse for a honors student- normal style of writing. I'm not sure I quite understood all of it, but I'm sure comprehension will come by Monochrome's end.
Speaking of 'Monochrome' - yes! New chapters soon!
| Ariyah chapter 1 . 6/26/2012
Absolutely /loved/ the style! It was a load of fun to read. Also, I loved how you saved critical information, such as Camlann's blindness, till after the conflict itself. It just sank it home.
But the part that made it was this: "... for either Aslan is Good or He is Bad. And no complacent ground we stand on will hold Him. So if He is Bad, what are we, chosen by Him? And if
He is Good, who are we to question Him?" That was the true poetry of this piece. I also liked the bit about his "grip on honey-sweet mane".
| Miniver chapter 1 . 6/26/2012
I recognized Camlann's name; what an inspired way to use it. This is extraordinary. You chose just the right format for language this elevated-prose would have sunk it, but poetry gives it luster and emotional impact.
The great thing about this is that it has both style and substance. It explores an idea about good and evil, and about why bad things happen to noble people. Simultaneously oignant and majestic.
| MCH chapter 1 . 6/26/2012
Great poem and love the style of writing.
I hope I got this right "But he, blind since birth, saw not the blade that felled him" what a brave King Camlann was despite his blindness. A great story and Peter reaction to Camlann story of his Last Battle he must have understood too well as him and Edmund have had a few close calls on the battle field themselves.
Love the comments from Oeter and Edmund at the end very funny.
| Autumnia chapter 1 . 6/26/2012
Trying to read this in a different style through me off a little but I gradually grew used to it (though if given a choice, I much prefer prose!).
I was wondering how it was that Camlann was called Fortunate given what happens to Narnia during his reign and after... I suppose he was lucky to have survived though his family did not. Peter seems to really taken in the story of his predecessor with all his being; he is right in that his own family shares some similarities with the old king in terms of their growing up in Narnia. I am glad that Edmund was there to help his brother deal with his troubled thoughts about Aslan and why He didn't come to save Narnia from Jadis until the Pevensies showed up.
And I laughed at the ending notes. Oh Edmund, it must have be extremely difficult for you to keep quiet all that time. :-)
| dbd823 chapter 1 . 6/26/2012
That was amazing. It took a few seconds to get into the different style, but once that happened it was simply amazing.
I've been trying to write some songs/prophecies/etc kind of like this, and having trouble. When I read such an amazing example of this, I think of how amazing it is (after I get over the slight jealousy that someone else managed to do it!).
Edmund's speech was really good. It summed things up very well, and I can completely see him saying something like this.
This part... [So if he is Bad, what are we, chosen by Him? And if/He is Good, who are we to question Him? We ourselves/
Lean on the Bad side of things, and can be no/Proper judge of Good and Bad, let alone the...]
I am now subscribing so that if you do end up adding another part, I'll find out right away! :D
Please update Monochrome soon! Keep writing!
| WillowDryad chapter 1 . 6/26/2012
What amazing wonderfulness!
This brought tears to my eyes:
"Therefore, rejoice and wipe the anguished lines from
Your face; Camlann cannot be elsewhere but between
Aslan's golden paws, a goblet of sweet water in one hand
And a grip on honey-sweet Mane with t'other."
Glorious! In just this short bit, you make me love this heretofore unknown King of Narnia and want to know more about him. And sweet, softhearted Peter so affected by the story. And Phillip and Oreius, too! Greatness!
And, of course, I love Peter and Edmund's snide little comments in the notes. Snerk.
P. S. Thank you for your kind mention of "Traitors." You're TOO sweet. :D