Ahahah, this is hilarious. I do so love originality in fanfics! This one takes the cake. And the best part - it all makes bloody sense! Muggleborn diaspora, ha.
Well, I think if jews had portkeys, apparition and all that jazz in 30s, Hitler would rule over an empty land at the time of Poland invasion.

Okay, that reaaalllly stretched the possible power of Fidelius. Usually it is not done because it's theorised that the power needed for ritual is linear to how well known the would-be-secret is. So hiding over house that just a bunch of wizards know it's one thing, but hiding the shop called secret that thousands of people all over the world know it's another thing.
But okay, unorthodox solutions are always good so I can suspend my disbelief over this one for that. Even if linear scaling of power implies he would need some serious human sacrifices to pull it off, but he somehow done that and additional obliviation magic while being underaged and fully developed.
Really hope he takes VERY good care of that single piece of paper with a secret, otherwise I don't know how they would get people on it in case something happens with his"entry" card. Secret keepers are known not to be able to effectively share the secret under torture so if the fidelus could be disabled by quick lethal solution instead of lengthy torture session, they would surely mention that too.
I know I've come away on a tangent but damn, it makes me think. How many ancient and valuable secrets have been utterly lost in ages thanks to fidelius and dying secret keeper. Wow.

So far the most interesting part is how everything makes sense from Harry's POV. I wonder what happens next. He can't be on vacation forever, isn't he?

Nice job channeling Kreacher in his ramblings,Harry. Oh wait, you haven't met him yet here.
The scheme of taking his death could be viable, but he never stopped to think about what would happen if anyone sends him an owl? Obviously Petegrew had some way to hide from owls like that, and from maradeur map too, or the whole canon doesn't make sense.

Great story! I love it every time I read it

I enjoyed reading this again.

I’ve read ir before, but I’ve thoroughly enjoyed reading this scene again, lol.

Funny how the problems just go away without Harry in the picture. And I love the idea of putting Dumbledore in a retirement home.

I come back here every year or so for the sheer joy and fun your story brings me. Thank you so much for sharing this with us — and for leaving it up all of these years! It makes me happy.

What a fun story. AD the MoB definitely got what he deserved.

This was so fun. And old AD the MoB got his just desserts

Pascal's Wager is such nonsense. It's not a simplistic yes/no proposition, either God exists or God doesn't exist. There are literally hundreds of religions. Which God (or Goddess) are you talking about? Even if you choose to believe in one, if you choose the wrong one it won't help you any. Ask a Baptist and they'll tell you that if you're Catholic you're going to Hell. Even though technically they both believe in the same God. But they believe the same thing about Jews.

Awwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww

I rate this fanfic 1019 out of 10!

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OH SH*T I FORGOT ABOUT THAT IN THE BOOKS!