|Reviews for Unatoned|
| Krimsons chapter 23 . 12/27/2015
This story was nearly flawless! I read a LOT of fanfiction, and I can say with a fair amount of confidence that this was my second favorite ever.
The writing was extraordinary. Your diction is beyond eloquent and showed off a mastery of words that is very rarely seen. The flow of the story was buttery smooth, and read like poetry. You were able to evoke all of the lust, infatuation, and anticipation that Harry felt towards Daphne and Astoria in the reader, which is amazing. I found myself completely immersed in the scenes and seeing and feeling exactly what Harry saw and felt. And excellent, excellent application of the first person point of view format.
After letting the story settle in my head, the only question I have left is who was the person who was sending anonymous tips to the Daily Prophet about Miles Bletchley? Perhaps I missed the answer, and if so hopefully I'll catch it on a reread.
I look forward to reading your other stories, and really hope you keep writing!
| yo chapter 23 . 11/24/2015
Fantastic story, extremely well-written! I love the characterisations of Daphne and Harry, I love how it turned out (there was no cheesy "she's actually really nice on the inside!"). And of course I love that Harry outwitted her, in a way. I like that kind of thing. Oh, I also like old man Greengrass. He seemed the only sane person, I think. Harry and Daphne are a little bit psychotic, mixed up in their own world. Too dogged. They really deserved each other in this story.
My only complaints are that Harry doesn't seem like the Harry from canon (also there's no mention of e.g. Hermione, Ron, etc.), and it was a bit weird how pretty much everyone apart from Daphne and Harry were either corrupt (bad) or weak (good). The other characters seemed a little... 2D? (compared to Daphne and Harry). Though you could argue that they weren't 2D, and them seeming 2D is simply Harry's perspective of them (as a bit of an arrogant "only I can think clearly and see the truth" kind of person). Which he really was in this story - hence the divergence from his character in canon. In canon, I think Harry sees very clearly that he's only human and sees other people as equals, only human. In this story he's a little... derisive. Oh yeah, also the incest with Daphne and Astoria was really weird. Astoria was weird, but that's understandable having Daphne as a sister I guess. It kinda felt like you were just forcing smut down our throats at times. (I mean, we had three pairings with three people! That's all the possible pairings! It's a little weird!) But I guess this is that kind of story. Not to sound insulting! I mean, like a noir kind of story. I don't know.
Anyways. It was enjoyable! Despite the incest and despite being slightly confusing at times. I'm very tired though, so it probably isn't that confusing. I should probably shut up now.
Happy writing! :)
| Tyrannitor chapter 23 . 11/5/2015
How is his not the most reviewed Harry/Daphne story!? This is exceptionally well written; the characterisations of both a vain Daphne and a cynical Harry are absolutely sublime. Hats off to you. Congratulations on a masterpiece. Now excuse me while I peruse the rest of your works!
| M chapter 23 . 10/29/2015
THIS IS AMAZING!
| Ppsh chapter 10 . 10/26/2015
And once again, Daphne goes to Azkaban. In any reality wherein Harry, as an auror, actually does his fucking job. What's the point of a huge investigation (for what purpose again, anyway?) to find evidence of her wrong-doing, or whoever's, when she and her sister openly curse people with lethal dark magic?
| Ppsh chapter 8 . 10/26/2015
This story is really well written but the content is bewildering. Eight chapters in and not a single reference to Ron, Hermione, any Weasley, nor indeed anyone familiar. Apparently after becoming an Auror, everybody he used to know ceased to be. And he doesn't think about them, either. I could understand if he's grown more distant over the years, that's natural for working adults after school, but to this extent? It's strange. It almost doesn't even seem like 'Harry Potter' so much as some cop-mystery adapted to the HP universe.
Asides from that, Harry himself is bafflingly different to canon. I actually like his personality, to a degree, but there's no real justification for it. And I can't understand why he's seemingly so desperate for Daphne. Or for that matter why it seems he's the only Auror who isn't corrupt as shit, and yet he still lets the Greengrass sisters get away with murder - almost literally in the case of Astoria. Why on earth he didn't stun her and take her to a cell immediately after her curses in Diagon Alley is beyond me. And, seriously, Daphne just attacked an Auror in the Auror's office, in front of everyone there. I don't care how powerful she is, how corrupt Roberts is, etc. She would be arrested and charged in seconds. It's simply ridiculous the way you've portrayed the magical law enforcement.
| ht23 chapter 23 . 8/30/2015
Awesome story and great character development between the two.. Commendable!
| Malcolm Cain chapter 23 . 8/18/2015
I just read the whole thing. It was awesome
| Trent Foley chapter 10 . 8/5/2015
Nasty, nasty, nasty! Nasty, nasty, nasty! Or so Frank Zappa would say if he read this. And I quite agree. Deliciously nasty!
| 01111111111111111 chapter 1 . 8/3/2015