Needs more chapters, pretty good Story

I hate chapters like this.

On the surface this is a really cool idea for an emergency scenario. However it completely destroys most of if not all of the characterization of your main character to make it happen.

Naruto comes across as so incompetent in this chapter that it is hard to look past it. He literally carried blood to an enemy who uses blood as the main way to deal damage to his opponents after extensive planning and exposition surrounding how to beat him without exposing his own blood. Not to mention that the clones clearly had sealing scrolls they could have just sealed the vial of blood into and then Hidan wouldn't have been able to smell it...

However it is more than that. The entire fight was handled like a child rather than like a time traveling Hokage with specific knowledge of the future...

To begin with, the idea that Naruto never looked over the mission reports and information surrounding the deaths of the Akatsuki during his time in the previous timeline (especially since he became Hokage) is hard to believe. Hidan's immortality, and the fact that even buried by Shikamaru in the future he could be potentially revived, is enough to warrant the spread of the information to at least the Jonin of the village. Not to mention specifically warning the Jinchuriki about how to deal with him should the worst come to pass and he be reconstructed. Even in the future following his "defeat" there was every chance for Zetsu to go submarine mode through the Nara forest and collect the bits of Hidan and put him together again. Not to mention that there might be other Jashin worshipers to deal with or something.

Setting that aside though, and using just the knowledge that Naruto brought back with him as explained though narrative exposition I still struggle to accept the way this fight goes... Naruto knows that Hidan is immortal, and that one of his key tactics in battle is to inflict damage on himself to gain an advantage on his opponents. That Naruto simply pins the man to the ground with Kunai is such a lack of forward thinking that it is staggering. The man is immortal, cut off his legs, cut off his arms, cut him in half, cut off his head, bury him in quicksand seal pit, do all of the above, do literally anything except leave him barely pinned to the ground only a minor hand injury away from escape and retaliation.

Just so incredibly frustrating.

I think that this chapter could have been saved if you removed the prior exposition surrounding having discovered Hidan leading up to this fight. Have the Hidan track the blood to the hideout and then watch the place without the clones and people inside being aware. Then have the new contingent of clones be caught showing up to the base and taken out in an ambush. Naruto discovers that his clones are being attacked by Hidan, and then realizes that the clone carrying blood to unseal/access the hide out has been killed and then ensue panic. It creates a believable way for Naruto to be caught unaware in this situation, instead of just making him out to be an incompetent fool.

Then that brings us to my final gripe. You explain that Hidan was able to track Gaara's bloody sand to the base, and then cite that the reason for this is because Naruto did not seal the One Tails' chakara until they got to the base. Except that this goes against what you directly said in chapter 7 during Gaara's capture following the application of the 5 elements seal, when we literally seen Gaara's sand fall away from his body.

"... Naruto grimaced. The boy's [gaara] eyes widened, and the blood-crazed rage briefly making way for sheer terror, until the seal burst to life, sizzling under his fingers. Gaara slumped to the ground, sand slipping off him on all directions in streams as his perfect defence crumbled away. Instantaneous unconciosness..."

Next Paragraph.

"It was a cruel solution, really; besides taking away Gaara's access to the Ichibi and its maddening voice, the Five Elements Seal would probably also remove his sand shield, perhaps his entire ability to control sand."

No probably... It did exactly that as described just the paragraph before as his perfect defense crumbled away...

So if Naruto applied the seal in the desert, and the seal removed Gaara's sand defense and ability to manipulate sand. How did he leave a trail of bloody sand that was track able through a desert, across river country, and into the land of fire...

Well I don't think naruto is going to accomplish much if he keeps being an idiot...But then again a SUDDEN change will have everyone thinking he's possessed.. So he's kinda BACKED HIMSELF INTO A CORNER there... It's a problem with writing time-travel fics... As for the changes he HAS made? Mizuki "terrorized the village"? HOW? He was basically a low level substitute teacher... That got his butt beat and KILLED by another chunnin the second he broke out of prison in canon.. That's not really enough time to "terrorize" anybody... (well, other then naruto, and there he was preying on the fact naruto WAS GOOD... Just REALLY DUMB).. After all if he thought naruto REALLY WAS bad at sneaking... He wouldn't have sent him in, to be caught and narc him out.

As for the team? Well.. I can KINDA see that not enough had changed.. But I also have a bit of a problem here.. Naruto already SPENT one lifetime trying to "bring the uchiha back" and that DIDN'T work.. Why would he WASTE a unique second chance, beating his head against the same wall? Wouldn't he just "neutralize" the threat? Instead of throwing his life away AGAIN on someone that he KNOWS now, cannot be "fixed"? He doesn't seem like the type to WASTE "second chances". (which is what spending all his time on the uchiha would BE... He has so much OTHER stuff that is of equal, or GREATER importance).

Morning, out of curiosity, have you mothballed this story? Think you've written it well, would be great to finish.

This is a great story, please continue it!

Love this.

Still, "Fuinjutsu: Activate" is a little silly when the canon exclamation is usually "Fuin!" Which just means "Seal."

Or something else along those lines would work. Explosives also have something similarly short. ("Katsu!")

I always had the headcanon that long justu names were said because they took a long time to execute. For a quick activation, it seems silly.

(Unlike some, I don't mind jutsu names. Anime style stuff isn't terrible. I just like keeping them a little more realistic.)

I’m out. This is beyond needlessly complicated and the number of absolutely retarded decisions is staggering. I can’t tolerate the overwhelming stupidity this writer drowns his story in.

I’m out. Naruto is too fucking stupid. Naruto should never have brought blood any blood near hidan, he knows this, even commented on it, and still did it. Unforgivably stupid and the writer did this for drama. Idiotic writer.

I've been reading fanfiction for a couple weeks, and I can safely say this is probably my favourite story so far. It is very unfortunate that the author abandoned it though. Still, amazing fanfiction and thank you for writing this for us to enjoy.

I started rereading this a few days ago when I was in the mood for nostalgia and Naruto time travel/redo fic. I hadn’t realized I read this before until I got to the point of Shino. There is so much potential here! There are so many things that are either midmotion or just beginning with this chapter. I wish there were more, but it’s been long enough that this probably won’t ever be complete, and that’s fine. Just wanted to let you know I enjoyed this. Thanks for the years you put into this!

trash

To bad that this story will likely never be finish. I knew it would end like this as many other stories do sadly.

This was an excellent story, and I know it's been 8 years since its last chapter and 2 since any other story updated, but I've followed this just in case of a one in a million chance of continuation or sequel.

You Amazing

Someday, all these lies will catch up Naruto; I just know. Can’t wait for the Kurama talk. I do find it weird, however, how Naruto sometimes refers to Kurama as the Kyubi and other times as his name.

Looking forward to reading Chapter 9!