|Reviews for Luminous Occultus|
| The Silver Storyteller chapter 13 . 3/27/2013
Nice. The chapters are getting longer, which gives the introduced character more time to develop. Which is always nice...
Not a whole lot comes to mind in the way of comments, but great job anyways!
Meanwhile, Kai has barely been seen in several chapters... Time to go back to writing my spin-off!
| superzbigz chapter 13 . 3/25/2013
Nice chap! Who would've ever thought of a board game being that lethal? Even though I swear one of these things exist in real life... I digress, nice creativity! It's also nice to see Viridi to show up, and we get a little info of the leader behind these attacks too. And if Athena is sisters with Palutena, does that make Palutena a child of Zeus (and does Athena have green hair too)? Great job anyway and please update soon! Though one thing disturbs me how do cell-phones get reception in Skyworld? (Guessing it's better for me not to question it.)
For now... Peace!
| Aeon3valefore chapter 12 . 3/2/2013
Lucky! I want fire emblem awakening! DX
question: why is your oc getting the most hits out of everyone?
| The Silver Storyteller chapter 12 . 2/24/2013
Nice. Not much to say about this chapter, other then I note that your writing skill has made a marked improvement as this story has gone on. I'm really enjoying it. Keep up the good work!
| superzbigz chapter 12 . 2/24/2013
Sorry for the late review! (Keep getting side tracked)
It's sad to know how the wheelchair girl died and how she dies in this chapter. I wonder why Palutena didn't try to make sure she was dead so she could rest in peace and not be resurrected for another ambush.
I also wonder why the mysterious boy keeps appearing and helping, yet he threatens to kill Patricia if she tells anybody about his presence. I also wait to see what's his motivation for interfering in the first place.
I had to re-read both chapters cause I got lost with the introductions and who-killed-who-and- why cycle of the dead students.
All-in-all I enjoyed these two chapters, even though it didn't have the bright cheeriness of the Kid Icarus universe, I still was entertained and had to keep thinking in order to fully understand what was going on.
I'm happy to see that you are still updating this story even with your massive amounts of schoolwork (which I personally can relate to), and hope that you update as soon as possible!
BTW(by the way): Will any of the casual villains in Uprising appear later on in this story? (E.g. Pandora, Thanatos, Medusa, The Aurum, *SPOILERS* Hades *SPOILERS END*). And/or the forces of nature (Viridi, Phosphora, Arlon, Cragalanche), or any allies Pit had (modern generation Magnus and Gaol, Dyntos, Pyrohn)?
I digress, nice job on these two chapters, and I'm really looking forward to the next one!
For now, Peace!
| Benneb66 chapter 12 . 2/21/2013
The girl's story is definately one of those stories that seems to have valid reason, but has a completely twisted reality. Like you can understand the enemy's point of view. (Kind of like Team Plasma) I like it!
Also: I've been following this story from the beginning, (I mean the way beginning. Like, accepting OC's beginning. Like, summer vacation then suddenly restart beginning.) I just never commented. (Of course I didn't have an account until recently so...-_-) I have to say, the story has gotten a lot better. (not that the old one was bad) This was (and still is) one of my favorite stories on here, so I thought I'd take the time to write a nice review for it, tell you how awesome it is, and to keep up the good work!
| Master Caxe chapter 12 . 2/21/2013
Well look who's back! it's been a while, not that I'm one to talk...I've been holding up on updates AND reviews haha. Really great two chapters, you're doign a great job!
| The Silver Storyteller chapter 10 . 1/21/2013
Ok, first off... I feel kinda bad for being so lazy in my reviewing. :P
Seriously, aside from a few dismissable spelling/grammer errors, I had honestly forgotten how much I had enjoyed this story. It took some time, but I re-read the whole story. It's awesome. Even if the wording used to portray things at times is a bit off, it doesn't truely detract from the fact that you are telling quite the captivating story.
And, with you permission, I'de like to de-mothball an old project of mine and get it published here. Sort of a mini one-shot chapter ficlet entitled "Luminous Occultus: Another Day".
Or "Project L.O.A.D." ;)
I like where this story is going, and I eagerly look forward to more.
| EpicGarchomp24 chapter 10 . 1/13/2013
Happy New Yer Mai.
I feel the same way you do, bogged down by school and such things. Good chapter and just like the rest I their improved quality. Glad to see that the ten are almost assembled again and I can't wait for more to come.
| superzbigz chapter 10 . 1/11/2013
Well look who's back! Sorry for not reviewing earlier (fanfiction giving me problems). There are a few minor errors in there but nothing too bad. Anyway, good chapter and I can't guess the anime you used, so no answer there.
| Kid Icarus Girl chapter 10 . 12/29/2012
For some reason, the floating knives part reminded me of the episode of Inuyasha where he had to fight Yura, and she was controlling a bunch of villiagers with her evil Demon hair... if you really don't know what I'm talking about, don't think the show is weird- or me. It's my fave anime, and I think you should really watch it- if you don't already.
Anyway, this was a great chapter. I caught quite a couple spelling/grammar issues. You kept switching from play-by-play to past-tense writing styles. It got quite confusing, so I had to rearrange sentences in my head. Aside from that, this was one of the best chapters. Keep it up!
| EpicGarchomp24 chapter 9 . 9/24/2012
It's been a while since I last reviewed and I have just caught up with everything. First off, this is definitely better than the original version of the story on numerous accounts. As for the lateness, school has nearyl drowned me, shot me in the leg and performed Chinese Water Torture, so I feel for you. Keep the writing up!
| superzbigz chapter 9 . 9/21/2012
Man I HATE bees! And the 2 part chapter now makes sense to me because Ace and Geo are twins, Clever! A player's start, my oc?
| Master Caxe chapter 9 . 9/21/2012
That. Was. Awesome!
| Aeon3valefore chapter 8 . 9/14/2012