|Reviews for She's the Coach?|
| Yuu chapter 3 . 6/3/2013
She's the coach? Pls!:3
| Jewlygem chapter 3 . 5/31/2013
She's the coach.
| Soul Vrazy chapter 3 . 5/31/2013
She the coach...
| Nispedana chapter 7 . 11/15/2012
Got it! Good luck XD
| Nispedana chapter 6 . 10/19/2012
This looks interesting and I'm glad you're rewriting this. Note that I haven't read beyond the prologue, but I did skim through (since I wanna read the rewritten version w/o being spoiled lol), ne?
Okay, here are my suggestions that I hope will somewhat help the rewriting process.
1. Write longer chapters It's definitely better than writing many many short chapters. Plus they tend to get more reviews, in case you care about them like I do.
2. The paragraphs can be shorter. There is what we call 'visual weight' and the current paragraphs are very very heavy. Some dialogues can stand on their own, inside their own little paragraphs.
3. You should realize by now that this is very mary-suish. I don't hate 'em, especially since I kinda write some of my own, but I suggest you put more effort into making her more relatable, ne?
4. The summary! Hehe. Please don't say 'summary sucks' never never never do that, okay? Even when you think so, saying it to the world- and not to mention on the first sentences prospective readers will see- is a big No-no.
Good luck and I wish you the best. (;D
| Jem Juliette Jewels Jade chapter 6 . 10/14/2012
Mor plz! :)
| kinno21 chapter 4 . 9/14/2012
This fic really got me SOO interested! XD
| ShinigamiinPeru chapter 3 . 9/8/2012
It's getting interesting! Update real soon! X3
| jenshim1518 chapter 3 . 9/7/2012
Oh God. My heart is pounding. What happened with Hikari all these years? I wonder. Please update soon.
| ShinigamiinPeru chapter 2 . 9/6/2012
Mmmmm... it sounds good so far, and I wish to read more of it, update real soon! :)
| Anonymous chapter 2 . 9/5/2012
Whoa. Major plot change. But will how she escaped or whatever be explained? Also will the ocs stay the same? Oh. And will you tell how they (the ocs and Hikari) met?
| Jewlygem chapter 2 . 9/5/2012
I like it better this way it makes more entertaining though the first story was why I got interested so it wasn't bad either
| kinni chapter 5 . 8/20/2012
Can you please upload!
| oblivionofdoom chapter 6 . 7/30/2012
Update sooner plz its good but the chapters are really short
| Rie Mizuki chapter 6 . 7/27/2012
Hahaha . I won't hate you. It seemed you are in hurrying or something? The order you write a bit messy in this chapter, but well it doesn't matter. I still love to see next. Keep writing, ne?