|Reviews for Shadow of the Colossus: Bound by Oath|
| HiatusAccount chapter 7 . 1/10/2014
This is amazing! the way that you have developed both the Colossi's personalities and Lyna's has put a whole new to the Shadow of the Colossus world. Please, can you update soon?
My anticipation is killing me :)
| ThePinkKirby chapter 7 . 8/26/2013
I like this story. The general idea of a person interacting with the colossi interested me, and for the most part, you write it quite well. I particularly like Pelagia in this chapter and I found the whole interaction between him and Lyna to be simply... adorable. It's probably me favourite part so far.
Now, however, I do have some criticisms and other things I would like to point out. Please take these comments constructively as I do enjoy your story and do not intend to insult you. Also, excuse me if I get a little nit-picky.
For Chapter 1:
"It was a dark and stormy night" is a clichéd line and it wasn't actually necessary. You could have simply started with the next line "It had been raining for some time now..." While I get the impression that using the line had a reflection of your personality in it (I get a sense of quirkiness, in a fun way) , it's always a little strange to read something that legitimately starts like that.
You described pursuing the horsemen well, and I found it a little jarring that you inserted "(Think ring wraiths)" into the story. I already had a picture similar enough to a ring wraith by your initial description. It was a little strange to have the story be interrupted by a bit of unrelated pop culture is all. I recommend that you put comments like that (if you continue using them) in the author's note or as footnotes, as to not jar the reader from the fictional world of the story and drama of the scene.
I thought the name Nostoc was an interesting choice for the horse, as it is the name of a genus of cyanobacteria. However, it did come from the Greek word nόsos meaning disease or sickness. Did you do this on purpose, or was it just a random name you came up with?
On an interesting note, a similar sounding Greek word Nostos means homecoming, which coincidentally fits with the theme of your story.
Nitpicking here, but there are some small wording and grammatical errors, such as saying "and" too many times within one sentence early on.
For Chapter 2:
Though I do enjoy the character of Hydrus throughout the story, the name Hydrus is supposedly the male version of Hydra, making a name more appropriately male. Just a bit of information - though I wouldn't recommend changing it, especially not now.
Also, Phaedra is a female name from Greek mythology, (in case you had any trouble placing that colossus) so you may take that as a future gender recommendation if you want to.
Kuromori's very modern English and slang was quite jarring to read. I understand that he was to be a more impolite Colossi and you used it in his character, but I don't know why the Colossi at all would be familiar with phrases like being "pissed off". I suppose you could say that it's just a rough translation of what he would actually be saying in his language, but it was strange to read for the first time.
When you mention Hydrus and Kuromori being soul relatives (so-to-speak) you also mention Phalanx. I feel that, as Phalanx wasn't in the scene in question it wasn't important to mention her. However, this mentioning of a soul-relation between Hydrus and Phalanx is more "properly done" in a later chapter wherein Hydrus talks to Lyna about colossi soul relations in general.
Twice you use the word "defiantly" (which can mean disobediently or reluctantly) when you meant to say definitely. Just remember the spelling of definitely for future reference (I know, it's a common error).
Another reviewer already pointed it out, but Celosia is certainly not a boar. I understand the confusion with the tusks, but I believe that, due to it's similarities to big cats, the tusks may be in reference to sabre-toothed cats, if it's not just a bit of interesting character design.
Bear with me, I only have one chapter to note.
I believe that the other colossi have eyelids, as I have seen them with closed eyes when they die in the game. Perhaps I am mistaken and the light of their eye goes out, which just gives the appearance of closed eyes?
Either way, I have definitely seen a change in the eyes at the time of death.
"(Think Ariel)" !? LIsten, I think we understand what a person flipping their hair after being in the water looks like. Again, similarly to the ring wraith thing; if you wanted to put it in, it shouldn't interrupt the story, and probably should've been a footnote instead.
A small question: What is an aquatic-toned voice? Does this mean that Hydrus always sounds sort of like she's underwater?
Okay, I'm finished with this. Sorry about it being so long. Either way, I like the story, and hope you continue it, maybe form more of a plot to it (you said you wanted to make it a trilogy, so I'm sure you have something in mind). I hope that my review has been helpful in any way.
Thank you for writing this, and have a good life, as I like to say.
| Just me chapter 7 . 4/4/2013
Please don't stop. I love this story. I really like how you wrote Pelagia. The fact that he's silent made the encounter really interesting since he had to express himself in other ways. Can't wait to see her meet some other Colossi too. Will Argus manage to be nice? What shall her reaction be when she finally meets Malus? I'm really intrigued. This is such an original storyline. Too many SoTC fics are just re-tellings of the game.
| Creeper-X chapter 7 . 4/6/2013
Wow, I really like this fic. Too many stories for this fandom are just retellings of the game but this one is different and original. I like stories which focus on the Colossi since they really are the best part of the game and I too think they aren't antagonistic by nature so I really like seeing them befriending a puny human. It's kind of... cute :D. I like how you have kept her reactions to them realistic and how she kind of is a total opposite to Wander.
I also like how the Colossi each have different personalities and different ways to approach her. The fact that they talk in this took some time getting used to but it doesn't really bother me. It was really interesting how Pelagia couldn't speak and had to express himself by other means. I liked that.
I'm intrigued how the other meetings will go. Especially Malus since he kind of seems to be closest thing to a leader. Well, perhaps not exactly a leader but he certainly seems the most knowledgeable. And while she has already met a bunch of Colossi, Malus is certainly a very impressive sight so I wonder if he'll just manage to scare the crap out of poor Lyna XD. I also wonder how Argus will deal with his... erm... attitude problem towards her or how you are going to write Gaius.
Please do write more. I'm fascinated by this story, It's refreshingly different.
| pokefan113 chapter 2 . 2/17/2013
Hm... I don't like the whole talking-Colossi thing; it seems to take away from their attribute of intimidation.
Again, your story - whatever floats your boat.
| pokefan113 chapter 1 . 2/17/2013
Wow, pretty decent. SotC is like a legend from my (and my brother's) childhood, and I'm glad someone's making a respect-worthy fanfiction of it.
Grammar and spelling seems fine, except that "kind of" is basically incorrect English. Try using "rather" instead.
Also, it seems uncharacteristic of Dormin to laugh, but whatever floats your boat.
| Sierra Arcanum chapter 7 . 1/25/2013
Amazing! It must be pretty lonely for poor Pelagia. He is the stragest of all colossi. It was a cute chapter xD. Now what bother me is Dormin. What that fiend is planning to do? Thank you for the update!
| helpful chapter 4 . 11/26/2012
Hi good story so far but your getting a few colossi wrong
Celosia is a tiger
Avion is a phoenix
Malus is a sorcerer
You got Dirge right he's a sand worm
(I will list the others)
Valus is a minotaur
Quadratus is a bull
Gaius is a knight
Phaedra is a horse
Barba is a bearded giant
Hydrus is a water serpent
Kuromori is a salamander
Basaran is a turtle
Pelagia is a sea monster
Phalanx is a dragon
Cenobia is a lion
Argus is a warrior
Hope this helps!
| kidbuussister chapter 6 . 11/16/2012
I just found this story
today and i love it!
Please update soon.
| Sierra Arcanum chapter 6 . 11/17/2012
I am loving this story so far! I like stories where Colossi and humans have friendship. I don't always see them as hostile, in fact I like it more to think them as being good and gentle beings!
| SarKel chapter 6 . 10/6/2012
This is a very fun and creative take on the game. I love it! Can't wait for more. c:
| Moony chapter 5 . 9/10/2012
I love this. Finally a creative fic and not just a retelling or something. Also, I love stories where the Colossi are portrayed as friendly. I don't think they are antagonistic in nature and were just defending themselves in the game. Though it's kinda weird that they talk in this but once I got used to it, it didn't bother me anymore. I like it how they each have different personalities.
Please make Lyna meet Malus. I think he would scare the crap out of her because he's so freaking huge XD. Btw I like it how you have kept Lyna more realistic in the way that she's still a bit scared around the Colossi. That's how any sensible human would act.
Please continue :)
| Ian chapter 5 . 7/9/2012
Interesting take on the game.
| The9Tard chapter 1 . 7/5/2012
To answer to you, Guest, I imagine they're speaking an ancient and dead language. To the people of this time, it's much like Latin is to us.
I just write it as English to make it an easier read, but they're speaking something much older than Wander's language from the game.
| Guest chapter 3 . 7/3/2012
Awesome story! I have a question, when you write do you imagine them talking in the old language they speak in the game, or in English?