|Reviews for Training To Like You|
| PinkishGreen17ChickenHead chapter 1 . 6/19/2014
Hi there! This story is not just a one shot! really! You make the reader want to see more, to read more chapter. I really hope you can continue this ahhahahah XD. But I noticed some wrong spelling, but that can be improved :) so keep up the good work! Keep writing! :) love love love and lots of love from PinkishGreen17ChickenHead
| DarkestChasm chapter 1 . 4/4/2013
Probably could be better, I saw some spelling errors you may need to fix, but other than that it was a very confusing yet interesting one-shot.
| Abandoned account44 chapter 1 . 2/4/2013
I wonder how old they are?
Aka is tough and prideful to hide the sadness she feels because of her mother? Asuka langley reference?! Is that analysis right?
Good one shot, no complaints here.:)
Itachi can love no one other than SASUKE! XD. Also I remembered he had a lover or maybe it was a fiance.
| Gaaras1Girl chapter 1 . 1/21/2013
There are quite a few grammar mistakes, mainly you forget to use a comma after a quotation instead of period if you attach a dialogue tag to it. For example this is you version of this sentence:
"Umm, nothing really." I said cautiously, raising my eyebrow.
And this is the corrected version:
"Umm, nothing really," I said cautiously, raising my eyebrow.
Another issue that you have is that your writing falls a little flat to the reader. Not that your writing wasn't good, after what you had said to me before I was expecting far worse. Now what I mean by "flat" is that it's hard to relate to the characters. It's very "he said she said and they did this".
If you want to write in a way to catch your readers attention you need to include some part of the five senses. What that means is don't just say that their standing outside, tell the reader how the fresh breeze felt on her skin, the sharp smell of the pine trees, the harsh glare of sunlight in their eyes.
To make someone feel for your characters you need to make them feel what the character feels. You want to paint a picture in your readers mind, not just list off the facts.
Other than that this could be the start of an intriguing story.
| themellyb123 chapter 1 . 8/23/2012
interesting... though it seems more like a story that would continue, not a one shot. Loved it none the less.
| MangekyoMarie chapter 1 . 7/1/2012
That was soo wicked awesome. Pretty well written and a good fight scene, just how I would act against Itachi. lol anyway, I praise your writing, my dear friend. Envy. So thank you so very much for this wonderful B-Day present. I love it. /_\