|Reviews for Two Titans Meet|
| Guest chapter 7 . 5/31/2013
please continue with this fanfic it is actually better than the others
| Guest chapter 6 . 5/13/2013
Aside from the grammar and spelling errors, there is one major mistake in this chapter. They DO know what Gauss Rifles are. Practically all their weapons are based on Magnetic Accelerator technology. Which also means none of them are like energy weapons. ME weapons fire metal shards, as small as grains of sand, at extremely high velocities using Magnetic Accelerators.
Do some research next time.
| fiona meier chapter 5 . 3/15/2013
| Emile-A239 chapter 7 . 7/17/2012
So. Going to have to choke the sob to death again huh. Not that I'm complaining
| LEGION001 chapter 6 . 7/11/2012
Alright, there is tremendous promise in this fic. Its a very good idea but, like DN7 said before me, It has allot of issues. I won't repeat them as DN7 already informed you of them but I strongly recommend that you take his advice.
What I will say is, get a beta reader. You have no idea how important that is. Just to have someone read your story, fix all the spelling, grammar and capitalization and then nitpick it. While that sounds strange, having someone else nitpick your decisions makes you think about them and find ways to fix those problems. My beta reader regularly finds problems with my story and then I have to find ways of explaining and justifying my decisions. Once I do that I bring those explanations into my story. Now I won't say that my story is great, in my opinion its just average at best, yet I think that its not hard for others to read. At least I don't think so. (No one has complained yet, except for my Beta ;)
Get a good beta and your story will be well on its way to becoming a very nice piece of work.
| atsik101 chapter 7 . 7/9/2012
The Preview was ok, i gees but it was too short and it dint have much dateless...
| DN7 chapter 4 . 7/3/2012
Again, the same four issues for chapters 3 & 4. As much as I'd like to see this go on, those issues need to be corrected majorly.
You are also going to have to incorporate the fact that Alcatraz/Prophet is completely out of his element. Its 2023 in Crysis 2, and now he's in 2183. The tech is vastly different, the guns pack a much bigger punch (believe me I've done the math between modern weapons and ME weapons), Alcatraz getting used to the fusion of his and Prophet's memories (if you are going by the game's canon at all, as when Alcatraz wakes up after the successful spore rewrite, SECOND has fully integrated Alcatraz into the suit which includes Prophet's memories).
I recommend if you haven't, play through Crysis 1 and Crysis Warhead. Also read the Crysis Comic and Crysis:Legion as those will give you even more insight into the inner workings of the nanosuit.
As a final bit of advice, try and find a beta reader. A good one will help you immensely with pretty much everything I've mentioned thus far.
| DN7 chapter 2 . 7/3/2012
Alright, same concerns as my last review.
Grammar, capitalization, spelling, and format.
A new one though is your description of the N2. It can't catch a missile launched at it and fling back towards the person/object that fired it.
Also, you need to bring SECOND into play. It is able to access over 6000 communication and wireless access channels, and so it should have been able to hack through some omni-tool radio chatter to figure out what was going on, as well as about the various races. Branching off of that, Alcatraz is able to speak albeit through the suits own speech synthesizer, which comes out sounding like Prophet's voice.
Final recommendation, details details details. Be more descriptive of both the nanosuit and the Normandy team's reactions. For example:
After mopping up what was left of the prisoners in the first prison section Shepard walked through, she noticed a distinct difference in some of the battle scars the prison ship was taking. Some of the dead bodies were slouched at the intersection of the wall and floor, as what usually happens with a biotic on the battlefield. The others though were taken out with either precision shots to the head between the eyes, or through brutally powerful singular strikes to the chest.
"Commander." Jacob spoke up, his voice having a hint of concern. "Are you seeing the same thing I am?"
"If you're talking about the distinct fighting techniques then yes." She replied as she hit the holopanel to access the hallway that would hopefully take them to the next section.
"Gotta hand it to who ever took those shots." Garrus added. "Either its an extremely well trained sniper or an advanced mech. No way one of these scumbag prisoners could shoot that accurately that often."
| DN7 chapter 1 . 7/3/2012
Alright... Glad there is another Crysis/ME fic out there, but three sentences in I already find you need some help.
First off, proper grammar, capitalization, spelling, and format. Those first three are a huge deal for some people, as they won't read a story with as many errors as I see in this first chapter. Then format... That should be self evident if you read the chapter as its posted on the site. If not, you need to use horizontal breaks between changes in scenes/disclaimers/authors notes, and bring together separated lines.
Second. Laurence 'Prophet' Barnes is a Delta Force 'Major', not a lieutenant. In Crysis 1 you played as Lt. Jake 'Nomad' Dunn and 'Prophet' was the Raptor team leader.
Third. The means by which Alcatraz is transported to what I can only assume is the Citadel (which by the way is a couple hundred light years away from earth, not to take into account the time/reality difference) is extremely iffy. I understand that in crossovers there almost has to be a Deus Ex Machina for it too work, but try to make it believable. The spores were nothing more than a biological area denial weapon, not some kind of transportation device that screws with the laws of physics.
I hope that the next three chapters don't follow the same routine...
| Kaldi97 chapter 4 . 7/3/2012
| swimfeared chapter 3 . 7/3/2012
Actually I think the ceth and the collectors shoud swich places
| darkfinder chapter 1 . 7/2/2012
well very short . have to wonder how they meet up .