|Reviews for Elementals of the Phoenix|
| Guest chapter 1 . 7/12/2016
Interesting idea, but poorly executed.
"It was about seven and they had about eaten already." You need to get rid of that second about.
"Harry moved his head before he realized who this man was." What does that even mean? You tell us that Harry finds the man familiar and that it was someone he thought dead. Obviously Harry has seen the man already in order to think these things, what is he moving his head for? Where is he moving it to?
"All in good time." All in good time?! Harry should be demanding an explanation, not agreeing to go to bed.
The sentence structure is also very stilted. I'm glad you are re-writing this, because the author is right, this version is shitty.
| Karatekid-Ninja chapter 18 . 9/7/2015
I really enjoyed this story I did however think the Epilogue was rushed and didn't seem to end the story... Cant wait to read the re-write!
| Yaw613 chapter 18 . 8/24/2015
Please write a sequel already. Thank you very much. I really appreciate it and liked it a lot.
| Comic Critic chapter 18 . 5/30/2015
Ohhh I liked this one! It was a bit fast, but that's ok because you be a fast read every once in a while!
| The Doctor chapter 1 . 10/14/2014
OH MY FREAKING GOD IM ALREADY IN LOVE
| missgsmith51 chapter 10 . 3/17/2014
"There are four dragons for each champion." I think you MEAN "There are four dragons, ONE for each champion." That's a pretty significant difference.
I keep hoping someone will improve Snape's rotten personality and Skeeter's unethical behavior. Alas, I guess we're stuck with the two jerks as they are, more's the pity.
| missgsmith51 chapter 8 . 3/17/2014
Another question: Has James been in touch with Remus all of these years? He would obviously know that Remus was innocent, as well.
My big question is ... WHO PERFORMED THAT EXTREMELY COMPLEX (according to Flitwick) CHARM? It's an important question, because if it was Dumbledore, then he has known since 1981 who really betrayed the Potters, and yet he has done nothing to rectify the miscarriage of justice.
| missgsmith51 chapter 7 . 3/17/2014
Dramione? It sounds like the name of that medicine for seasickness.
I feel as if large segments of the story that explain important but unclear events are missing, sort of like a mind that has been obliviated. :-/
| missgsmith51 chapter 4 . 3/17/2014
Isn't Luna the blonde reading the Quibbler upside down?
| HP.HG. fan forever chapter 3 . 3/18/2013
Hell of a jump there don't you think?
| starlite22 chapter 5 . 11/9/2012
This is a good idea for a story, you need to add a lot more detail, slow it down and expand a bit more before, after and during things happening, The Ginny bracket thing came out of know where, Hermonie kissed Harry once or twice then he wants to marry her, then we find out she was with Ron who hadn't really been mentioned before. He idea of people as elements though is an interesting one.
| Fyreheart chapter 2 . 10/16/2012
I'm very confused as there's no back story, no explanation of what's happening. No explanation of why James doesn't trust most of the Weasleys (but the jokesters are OK). No explanation of why if Dumbles kept quiet about James for 13 years, then why did he suddenly tell Snape? No explanation about why Dumbles wants to kill elementals.
| Fyreheart chapter 1 . 10/16/2012
James woke up to find his wife dead and his son gone? That means no one - not even the best friend he considered like a brother - bothered to check to see if he was dead or not?
And he just gave up his son on Dumbles advice? What kind of a father is that? And to stay in hiding thirteen years? When the war was over? Why?
In addition, after picking up his son - who he decided to reunite with for some unknown reason - they just go to bed rather than spending the night talking? Harry would never permit that to happen.
| jvankessel chapter 2 . 10/7/2012
I didn't know writing like this was possible. Unfortunately it is.
| Bgbg chapter 1 . 10/7/2012
This story beginning is completely illogical. No father who cares for his son would give him up because some jackass in a fancy dress said so. And if he doesn't care for his son why the hell does he suddenly change his mind after 13 year?
Also, why has he let his supposedly best friend be tortured in Azkaban all this time?
My advice to you: Give up on writing, as you're clearly wasting both your time and the time of everyone stumbling upon this mess.